The massive amounts of liquid sunshine we’ve been getting for the past few weeks are good for at least one thing.  Our cherry trees are loaded!

In today’s society, animals have two vital functions:   to be delicious and to fit well.

— Greg Proops

A gentleman in Illinois was arrested recently for keeping an alligator in his home.  He apparently felt it attracted females.

I’d like to poll my lady readers out there.  Given the choice between two men, who would you choose:

1. A stable, hard working, clean guy with a job.  His house is clean, and he has a beagle or a cat
2. A creepy loser who wants you to come over to his house to “see the alligator”.  His house smells like the reptile house at the zoo, and his fish tank has a bloody alligator in it

A farmer in Colorado is auctioning off a “panda cow” to benefit a charity for pandas.  Apparently the other wise black miniature cow has a white middle and white face with black spots over the eyes.

Since pandas are on the endangered species list, and cows are not, this may be the closest we will ever get to panda mignon.  The farmer maintains that there are only 24 of these cows in existence, which makes them rarer than actual pandas, but then again, it’s a cow.  If it’s not producing milk or methane, than it’s a walking meat locker.

So, we could be looking at panda steaks, panda sirloin, standing panda roasts, and of course, roast panda on a stick.  Sure, it’ll just be beef, but at least you won’t have Greenpeace on your lawn threatening your kids for eating it.

Reverand Paul over at Way Up North lost his father today.  Go on over and give him some good thoughts.

Now that we know all of the hardware that I saw in Pittsburgh, here are a few pics of the people:

First, the anti-gun protest that blew through on Saturday:

  

Seriously, there were about 50 or 60 people milling around at one of the intersections behind the convention center.  They were led by one of the local pastors in wanting the NRA leadership to come out and talk to them.  What the NRA board would be able to do, other than to cave in and make statements about guns that they knew were false is beyond me.  This is where I met Uncle, Nancy R., and her Sweet Daughter.

The police pretty much stood by for a few minutes, but after having to tell the crowd to not block the sidewalks and street one too many times, they ‘asked’ the group to move on.  Silly east coast hippies don’t even know to sit down when they’re being hassled by the man.

Next, we find  JayG, who got that faraway look while looking at an oversized bayonet:

I promise myself that eventually I will be financially able to do nothing but go to the range, write stuff, go to conferences and meet-ups, and take naps.

As much as I love the day job, it’s been hard to get my head back into the game after this weekend.

As I was cursing under my breath at the insanity of paying almost $50 to fill up the tank on a Nissan this weekend, it occurred to me that I really didn’t know how much the gas itself cost.  I knew what I paid for it, but how much of that is taxes and such?  Looking at the receipt, all I saw was the raw amount, not a list of prices for everything that’s included.

When you buy groceries, you don’t just get a short slip of paper with the final amount.  You get an itemized list of what you bought, and how much each of those items cost, along with a sub-total, the amount of tax due, and a grand total.

Why can’t they do that with gas receipts?  If the excise, sales, and other taxes were listed out, people might realize that it’s not the gas station that’s making a lot of money from high gas prices.  Heck, even the evil petroleum companies aren’t making that much more than they were when gas was retailing for $2 a gallon.  But I guarantee that the huge percentage of tax that’s paid on each and every dollar spent on fuel would cause even the biggest VW Beetle driving hippie to scream in frustration at the pump and slap a Gadsden Flag sticker on the bumper.

• Calling me, having a tizzy with your hair on fire, and demanding that I DOOOOO SSOOOOMMMEEEETTHHHIINNNGGG!!!!!! is not going to get me excited about your “issue”.  
• Neither is demanding that I and 6 of my closest co-workers congregate in a meeting room to listen to you hyperventilate on the phone for 6 hours. 
• If the grocery store has aisles that are just barely wide enough for two carts to pass one another going opposite directions, it is rude and dangerous to park your cart on one side of the aisle, walk over to the other side of the aisle, and spend 15 minutes studying the peanut butter.
• If you drive your hipsterish moped up the right side of the road and pass a car trying to turn right, don’t be surprised if I laugh very very hard at the look on your face when you realize that you don’t have metal cage around you to compensate for your stupidity.
• The proper etiquette for an emergency vehicle is to pull over to the right and stop, not try to park your Volvo in my back seat.
• Telling your youngest “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” may cause an attitude shift with your spouse
• And finally, nothing makes a bad day better than coming home to a meal of comfort food and a 3 year old who’s happy to see you.

Avada Kedavera, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.

—William the Coroner, discussing why the Harry Potter series could have been a lot simpler if Harry had worked with the alchemy of smokeless powder instead of eye of newt.