Text of the letter I just mailed off.  The names have been changed to keep me from being targeted for even more pleas for funds.

To – Alumni Association, Somewhere High School, Bay Area, California
From – Daddy J. Bear

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I recently received your letter detailing the plan you all have to help refurbish some areas of the school I attended for the last year and a half of my high school education and endow a small scholarship for a graduate of the school to study “subjects that encourage world peace and harmony”.  While I find it honorable that y’all wish to give back to the school, I will have to decline.

I find it rather humorous that, 23 years after I graduated from Somewhere High and almost 25 years since I arrived at the school, you all need a bit of money for a project or two, and you come to me for some of it.  I had almost hoped that my name had been stricken from the rolls, since I have never signed up for your newsletters or tried to attend any of the reunions you all have held.

But as for my reasons for declining, you see, of the approximately 3500 students attending Somewhere High for the 18 months I was there, approximately 17 ever spoke more than a couple of words to me, and at least half of those were of the “Did you do the homework?” variety.   One of them was the native Californian football player, whose parents also attended Somewhere High, who repeatedly asked if I enjoyed having carnal relations with the farm animals in my native North Dakota and if that was the reason my family had to move to the garden spot that is the extreme eastern edge of the Bay Area.  Another was the president of our senior class, who upon being informed that I had decided to not attend Cal State and instead entered the armed forces, told me that I was giving up my future and that I was going off to be a “jack-booted oppressor” before telling that she couldn’t stomach the thought of me learning to kill.  I noted with some amusement that these two individuals head up the committee that is doing this work.

But to be honest, nothing the students did could top what my English and History teachers said to me in the week prior to graduation.  Both of them used the fact that I was going off to become a member of the Military Intelligence Corps as an excuse to list out the many atrocities I would be committing once I was a full-fledged member of the CIA.  Apparently they knew even less about M.I. than I did, but what can you expect from people who had lived their entire lives in Somewhere, California?

Anyway, I wish you all luck.  In closing, I’d appreciate it if my name and address could be removed from your database.

Sincerely,

Daddy J. Bear
Somewhere High School
Class of 1989

I’m in a room with 7 large blowup jumpy playsets and about 20 4 year olds who have had way too much ice cream and cake. Please alcohol and evac.

Thanks to Borepatch for the heads up on this.

TinCan Assassin has been medevaced to a hospital for a possible heart attack.  Please keep him and his family in your prayers tonight.

Saw this over at OldNFO‘s place.  Looks like I’ve set foot in about 15% of the countries on earth. Most of them are the standard “I was stationed overseas” destinations.

Today is the anniversary of the duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton, in which Vice President Burr shot former Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton, who later died.  The duel was over some remarks that Hamilton may have made about Burr.  Repeated correspondence between the two did not settle the manner, so pistols were used to end it.

Dueling has fallen away from popular culture for the most part, but would our society benefit from its return?  Would a ritualized confrontation between two people, one of whom is expressing a grievance and another who is denying it, lead to more efficient problem resolution?

Let’s assume for a moment that dueling would be the last resort for gaining satisfaction for the aggrieved party.  Maybe you have to go through a sequence of asking for an apology or restitution, then go through the courts, and then you can ask to be met on the field of honor.  Possibly the things for which a duel could be demanded could be limited so that young men and women aren’t shooting, slashing, or stabbing each other with too high a frequency.

Would politicians do stupid and illegal things if they knew that the people they were hurting could demand satisfaction at dawn using knobkerries?  Could the shrieking classes on both side of the political aisle survive if those they were shrieking about could walk up, slap them across the face, and invite them to hash it out with sabres in front of the cameras?

My gut tells me things would get a lot better once folks figured out that being a lying, cheating, insulting twit could get you hurt in a rather sticky manner.

What say you all?

A man should be upright, not kept upright. — Meditations, Book III

My Take – The true sign of a mature person is that they are not only able to stand on their own two feet, but that they demand that others not support them.  There is no shame in accepting help when it is necessary, but it should only be accepted when absolutely necessary.  Conversely, those who demand that someone help them, provide for them, or protect them when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves are nothing but large children.