• The amount of fun you can have with a green laser pointer, a darkened room, and a Siamese kitten is probably illegal in a few states.
• Listening to political podcasts for the past two days has not been good for my soul.
• Irish Woman arrived back from her business trip safe and sound.  Much rejoicing followed, of course, with Boo being especially happy.
• I was listening to the mothers at car pool today, and after hearing how difficult it is for them to find the little jumpers their daughters wear as part of their school uniform, I’m so glad we had a boy.  It’s quite easy to find a pair of navy blue pants and a green polo shirt.
• One of my co-workers was recognized for 40 years of service to the company today.  I can’t imagine.  I’ve only been with the company for about 13 years, and I go stir crazy sometimes.
• At Boo’s school open house tonight, we learned that it’s not just Boo that keeps his teacher on her toes.  It brings an odd relief to know that he’s not the only one.

• If you’re not going to use the proper tool to do a job, you better be a master at using the improper tool to do it.
  • Analogy – If you’re going to use a Mosin-Nagant to shoot sporting clays, you better be able to break the clays with it.
• If you don’t have the manners to show up for the meeting on time, at least have the manners to know what the meeting is about.
• Dropping off and picking up in the carpool at school is a delicate balance between cooperation between loving human beings who are all working toward a common goal and the overwhelming wish to harm your fellow human being if he doesn’t remove his head from his lower alimentary canal.
• The drive to Boo’s school ends with about a mile going down a narrow, two-lane road, with high bushes growing right up to the road.  Boo used that setting to reenact the trench scene from Star Wars with me this morning.
  • I’m so proud.

• Crash is well on his way to making himself at home.
  • He is truly Siamese.  We had a conversation this morning about whether or not he deserved a portion of the lunch meat I was using to make Boo’s lunch.
• If you need a brush-up on your defensive-only hand-to-hand skills, try eating a chicken-based pasta dish while balancing a laptop on your knees, all in the same room with a Siamese kitten.
• Being on steroids means the diet either becomes much harder or gets forgotten completely.
• One side effect of being at home and working from the living room is being able to watch the first few seasons of Doctor Who from the 1960’s and 1970’s.
  • Irish Woman is irritated that she can’t watch her syndicated crime dramas, but I won’t be here forever.
• Irish Woman is considering getting a Ford Flex instead of another Focus. Never thought I’d see her volunteer for minivan duty.
• Boo’s score for the week – two not so hot and two outstanding days at school.  At this point, I’ll accept .500.
• Boo seems to enjoy his hippotherapy.  That’s basically where he bareback rides a horse that’s led at a walk around an arena while he does Pilates and free weights on its back.  It’s supposed to do a lot for kids who have issues with balance and motor skills, so here’s hoping.
  • And hey, he gets to ride a horse once a week.
• We stopped by Starbucks on the way to take Crash to the vet this morning.  It wasn’t packed, but it certainly wasn’t deserted.  Guess the boycott didn’t work.
• Had to disappoint the guy at Starbucks when I told him I wasn’t interested in buying their $300 coffee machine.  If I’m going to spend $300 on coffee, it better be prepared by a tall Nordic goddess with braids in her golden tresses and a dagger in her belt.
• Crash checked out fine at the vet.  I guess it’s a good thing that our vet gives a discount for families with three or more pets.  This is starting to get expensive.
  • It occurred to me that going to the vet is probably the way that taking your kids to the doctor should be.  You pay a small fee for the service, and insurance is there to cover the big stuff.  Doctor charges only what they need to, you have an idea how expensive things really are, and Obama keeps his nose out of it.
• Tonight I saw evidence of the breaking of the myth that women need small guns.  A lady at the 5 Counties Friends of the NRA banquet paid $1775.00 for a Thompson and a 1911.
  • And no, they weren’t pink.
• I got to meet and spend some time with my Congressman at the banquet tonight.  Mr. Massie impressed me with his candor and his conviction in doing what’s right instead of what’s easy.  He’s definitely one to keep an eye on.
  • OK, I’ve been a fan since he wrote back to me that he collected Class III weapons a few months ago, but meeting him just reinforced what I suspected.
• Irish Woman helped a young man propose to his sweetheart in front of 3000 people tonight at the Louisville Zoo’s brewfest.  I’m really glad that went as planned.

• I finally met an orthopedist with a good attitude.  I’ll have to circle this day on the calendar.
• Of course, what the orthopedist had me do with my shoulder in order to diagnose what was wrong with it ought to be against the Geneva Convention.
  • I was ready to admit to being on the grassy knoll, knowing where Hoffa was buried, and divulging who wrote the book of love before he was through putting me through contortions.
• It has been decided that I have a separated shoulder from the accident, and should be OK after a couple of weeks of steroids, anti-inflamatories, and some physical therapy.
  • Considering the damage that was done to the car, I can’t complain that all I came away with was a minor injury to one part of my body.
• The car has been deemed a total loss.  We are in the process of signing it over to the insurance company.
  • The settlement was pretty much the price we paid for the car.  It will pay off the loan and give us a pretty healthy down payment for the replacement.
• Of course we can’t find the title to the car when we need it.  Who would think to put it somewhere logical and easily remembered?
• Boo has been through his first few days of kindergarten.
  • The first day we were told that he was ‘licking’ the arms of other children, which is a bad habit he picked up from one of the boys in his preschool.  It’s also a habit we thought we’d broken.  Oh well, I needed something to talk to him about anyway.
  • Day two brought a note from teacher saying that when he came into conflict with another child, he snorted air at the other child.  My bad.  It’s one of the things I do with him when we’re play fighting.
  • We also had to make a new house rule that when one of us wants to speak to someone, we have to raise our hand and wait to be told we can speak.  It’s a bit silly, but it’s a skill he needs at school.
  • Day 3 was characterized as ‘spectacular’.  That did our hearts good.
• Girlie Bear is enjoying her classes so far.  I helped her a bit with her first German homework assignment, which is to recite, by rote, the Pledge of Allegiance in German.  If she can stop rolling her R’s so much, she might do OK.
  • Words to work on – vereigneten, unteilbar, and Gerechtigkeit.
• Boo had his first soccer practice this evening.  His defensive move can be best described as “shield wall”.  He runs up to the guy with the ball, then stands as erect as he can and uses his body to block a kick.  Actually, it’s usually his chest or gut that blocks the kick, facilitating a moment laying in the grass, looking up at the clouds.
  • Watching 5 year olds play soccer is a lot of fun.  It’s like watching a pack of puppies try to catch a rabbit.

• Went back to work this morning, and was completely wiped out by 1 PM.
• I’m trying to decide if it hurts more with or without the sling for my shoulder.  I’m leaning toward it hurting more with it.
• I seem to have consumed all of the aspirin in the bottle that I carry around in my laptop bag.  I must correct this, for the sake of the children.
• Boo enjoyed his first day of Kindergarten.
  • I hope this continues.  He’s in the two year program, so if he hates it, it’s going to be a struggle.
• Girlie Bear has three classes with her best friend.  Nothing good can come from this.
• Apparently Girlie Bear’s German instructor is a DLI Chinese graduate.
  • If she was there from 1989 to 1990 and was in the Air Force, this might be an uncomfortable parent-teacher conference.
  • I’m not admitting anything, but it is quite possible to hang by your fingertips from the windowsill on the second floor of the Air Force barracks in Monterey and then survive the fall to the grass below in good enough shape to run through the woods after gathering up your clothing.
• Sometimes you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.  Problem is that ‘sometimes’ seems to be ‘always’ lately.

• Boo met his teacher today after church.  She now knows that he is much more civilized than she might have been led to believe.
• For the third time this week, Irish Woman and I were able to get caught up on both dishes and laundry.  Around here that’s some kind of record.
• No matter how often I put them back in Boo’s room, his toys always seem to find a way back into the living room, including when he’s asleep.
• Bad – Getting hit in the driver’s side door when someone crosses the double yellow line and you swerve to avoid a head on collision.
• Worse – You’re driving your wife’s car.
• Even worse – We’ve only had the car for 5 months.
• Good – You had your seatbelt on and only the side impact airbags fired.
• Bad idea – Yelling out “Oh Sxxx! I’ve got warrants!” and running away from the scene of an accident you caused when you suspect that the witness who was open carrying was a policeman.
• Not so good idea – Before fleeing said accident scene, you grab all of the documentation from the glove compartment and console of your vehicle.
• Bad idea – dropping your cell phone on the floor of your vehicle and not retrieving it when you were fleeing the scene of said accident.
• A lot of people helped Irish Woman and me out tonight, and I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them.
• Good automobile insurance is worth every penny.
• I’m OK.  My shoulder is sore and bruised, I have a few cuts and scrapes, and I’ll probably feel pretty rough tomorrow morning.  But x-ray’s show no fractures to the neck and back, so I’ve got that going for me.
• The ER nurse looked at me oddly when I declined a narcotic pain-killer and opted instead for ibuprofen.
• The muscle relaxant they gave me is really kicking in, so I’ll bid y’all good night.

• Irish Woman came back from the farmer’s market with a bottle each of blackberry and elderberry wine, a couple of fresh peaches, sweet corn, and a seedless watermelon.
  • I must say that blackberry wine is an excellent way to end the day.
• Apparently some of my neighbors don’t understand that when someone else owns a piece of land, they can either do what they want in a way that fits in with the rest of the community, or they can say screw it and just put in whatever strikes their fancy, and complaining vociferously about what they want to tastefully do is counterproductive.
• It’s never a good sign when walking on a bare floor feels like you’re walking on Lego’s, and no amount of NSAID stops that.
• Dinner tonight was pork ribs marinated in either tequila or bourbon, corn and green beans cooked with bacon and onions, and fresh corn on the cob.
  • It’s nice to make a good summer dinner every so often.
• Girlie Bear asked me if she could read “1984” today.  I couldn’t find my copy, so I gave her “Brave New World” instead.
  • Now, that’s going to be an interesting literary conversation.
• I’m so proud of Boo.  He liked a Marx Brothers movie as much as I did.
  • I haven’t heard that many belly laughs from him in a long time.
• Irish Woman spent almost 7 hours working in the yard this afternoon and evening.
  • I can express my entire opinion on cutting grass and weeding – xeriscaping.
  • A few gallons of weed killer, a few hundred yards of black tarp, and a few tons of pea gravel, and I only have to do yard work a couple of times a year.
  • Apparently Kentuckians would rather sweat in the dirt, heat, and humidity.

On this week’s Squirrel Report, Alan and Breda asked listeners and callers what it was about them that surprised people when they learned about it.  Since I can never listen to the Report on Thursday nights, I couldn’t call in, but this should work:

People always seem surprised when they find out that I love to cook and bake.  I guess I don’t look the part, but I love good food, and up until I met Irish Woman, that meant I had to cook my own food or make a whole lot more money so that I could afford better than drive-thru burgers.

So, that’s my thought on the subject, but I have one or two for you all:

1. What have I revealed about myself on this blog that came as a surprise to you all?
2. For those of you who have met me in real life, was there anything that surprised you about the meatspace me?

Please leave answers in comments.  I’m curious what people think.

BTW, mistyping sqrpt.com to sprpt.com takes you to a Chinese industrial painting company.  Could this be the source of all those Chinese downloads of the show?

Pay attention to the details.  They might be important.