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All posts in category silliness

The Prophecy

And lo, I stood upon the mountain.  My armies were spread across the valley before me like a sea of fire and steel.  A voice like thunder came from the heavens, and spoke unto me:

Now shall you and your army sleep.
Your time is not yet ripe.
Until the time when this mountain lays flat
When there shall come to you visions of a white wombat!

 Now is our time come.  Now is it time for the Ursine cavalry to roar its way across the steppe.  Now our enemies shall know that their time is past.  Now they shall know why they fear the cute.  

by daddybear71 on October 25, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on October 25, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/25/the-prophecy/

Evening Chuckle

I saw this one on a friend’s FB page, and I immediately thought of Calvin’s Mom over at The Transmogrifier Files.

It also reminds me of my time working as an usher at one of the local theaters to pay for Junior Bear’s band class.  One of our main responsibilities was to make sure that no-one was recording the concerts, plays, and such.  This meant having to ask people to put away their phones.  It was amazing how many people can’t go an hour without sending a text, and how devious they would try to be in order to do it.

by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on October 14, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/14/evening-chuckle/

The Demonstration Has Been Subsidized

You really should have stayed home, brother.
You will have nowhere to plug in, zone out, or get take out.
You will not be able to feed yourself on pizza and beer,
Bad pizza and cheap beer made by large corporations
Because the demonstration has been subsidized.

The demonstration has been subsidized.
The demonstration has been brought to you by Soros
with large crowds without proper sanitation
The demonstration will have large pictures of Obama
And Pelosi giving an interview and leading a charge
To Marx, and Chairman Mao, and Che Guavera to destroy
Hard working people's livelihoods with taxes taken from their paychecks
The demonstration has been subsidized.

The demonstration has been brought to you by 
MSNBC and will star Keith Olbermann, and Saul
Alinsky and Anderson Cooper and Roseanne and Oprah.
The demonstration will not give your cause mass appeal.
The demonstration will bring out the nuts.
The demonstration will not make you a 
winner, because the demonstration has been subsidized, Brother.

There will be  video of you and Ginnie Ray
leaning up against that police car and leaving behind a calling card,
or fighting with police because they don't want you to get hit in traffic.
CNN will provide 'round the clock coverage
and will report from all confrontations.
The demonstration has been subsidized.

There will be  video of grasshoppers shouting at
ants on YouTube
There will be  video of grasshoppers shouting at
ants on YouTube
There will be video of Purple People Beaters attacking 
people in wheel chairs because they won't back down
There will be slow motion shots of UAW 
drones chanting about the plight of the working man 
After cashing a six thousand dollar signing bonus check
Just before getting on the bus to the demonstration

Abercrombie and Fitch, Starbucks, and  Best 
Buy will be well represented, and
hipsters and hippies will finally get together
on the streets of America because lazy people
will be whining that someone else should pay.
The demonstration will be subsidized.

There will be constant highlights on the cable
news and  pictures of privileged Ivy League 
post-adolescents and aging hippies wearing rusted peace signs.
The theme song will be written by RadioHead,
and Joan Baez, and sung by Pfish, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna
The demonstration has been subsidized.

The demonstration will  be right back after a message
about the sponsors, underwriters, and donors.
You will  have to worry about a commie in your
cupboard, a Maoist on a motorcycle, or the socialists in your schools.
The demonstration will be fueled by weed and coke.
The demonstration will be staffed by immigrants who don't know why they're there.
The demonstration will put you in the back of the bus.

The demonstration has  been subsidized, has been subsidized,
has been subsidized, has been subsidized.
The demonstration will not be spontaneous, brother;
The demonstration is contrived.

With apologies to Gil Scott Heron




by daddybear71 on October 9, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Politics, silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on October 9, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/09/the-demonstration-has-been-subsidized/

Happy Puppet History Awareness Month!

October is Puppet History Awareness Month.  Let’s all take this opportunity to reach out to our neighbors, the puppets, or as they like to be called, Fabricated-Americans.

We should take this time to remember the words of Dr. Aben Mitchell: 

…we must all learn to tolerate and even celebrate our differences. Whether you’re flesh, fleece, purple, plaid or even Chinese.

by daddybear71 on October 1, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on October 1, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/10/01/happy-puppet-history-awareness-month/

Today’s Earworm

No linked-to YouTube video today.

It’s the beginning of deer season here in Kentucky.  Over the next few months, there will be hunting with bows, muzzleloaders, and modern rifles.  I’m starting to get the itch, and I need to get to the range to doublecheck zero on my guns.

So here’s a little chest-beating to go with your morning.  Hopefully it doesn’t jinx me into eating “deer tag soup” in February once the season closes.

“I Like Big Bucks!”
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I like big bucks and I will not lie!
You other hunters can’t deny!
When a buck walks by
With a great big rack
You get a chill right down your back!
To let him walk would be really tough
‘Cause you wanna get that mother stuffed.
I’m ready and I’m aiming
Buck fever I’m also taming!
Oh deer, I wanna get with ya
And take a picture.
My buddies tried to warn me
But that rack is so big and oh so horny.
Oh doe with the smooth head
You wanna hang in my shed?
I’ll make roasts, steaks, and jerky
‘Cause venison’s better than turkey.
I’ve seen them prancin’
And bucks thinkin’ ’bout romancin’.
It’s fall and it’s rut!
We got deer sniffing each other’s butt!
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ venison ain’t the thing.
Take the average redneck and he’ll attest
that venison is the best.
So hunters! (Yeah) Hunters! (Yeah)
Does your wall have a great rack?
(Hell yeah!)
So take it down, show it off!
Big antlers for the win!
Bambi got rack!
Bambi. Got. Rack.
Bambi stew and terriyaki jerky!
Bambi. Got. Rack.
I like ’em pointy and big
And much thicker than a twig.
So I’m wearing doe scent and dressing in camo
And carrying my favorite ammo.
I wanna get you home
and (ugh) hang you up! (ugh ugh)!
I ain’t talking ’bout Field and Stream.
Hunts like that are just a dream.
I want deer real big and juicy,
So I hunt juicy doe.
Little bucks I just let them go.
DaddyBear’s comin’ back for mo’!
So I’m lookin’ at hunting videos.
Big racked bucks sniffing at does.
You can keep the button buck.
I’ll put a big racked buck in my truck.
A word to the big old deer:
You’ll never even know I’m here.
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna hunt
At the break of dawn!
DaddyBear got his camo on!
I’m sure PETA won’t like this song.
Vegans getting their whine on.
But I’d rather hunt than debate
So I’ll stay in the woods til late.
‘Cause if it’s brown, it’s down!
And I’m gonna turn ’em into ground round!
So hunters (Yeah!) Hunters! (Yeah)
You wanna shoot your front stuffer?
(Hell yeah!)
Then load it up! Ram it down!
Even PETA’s got to shout
Bambi got rack!
Bambi. Got. Rack.
Yeah, man, when it comes to whitetails, Bass Pro ain’t got nothin’ on my gun store.
Making jerky out of my backstrap? Only if you take it out of my cold dead hands!
So you hunt deer with a Mosin?
Open sights is what you’ve chosen?
It don’t matter none if you’ve got deer, son!
You can shoot Remington or Savage
But please don’t use a Glock.
Some hunters want that hard role
And fill their tags using a bow
So they pull back and squeeze
And the deer goes to its knees
So I sat in the woods all day
And all that I can say
Is that the squirrels didn’t notice me sitting there
And that at least I had a comfy chair.
To the guys who filled their tags,
And took the deer for a drag,
Let’s drink a beer, and have some cheer!
Venison is always better than steer!
Some knuckleheads try to dis
’cause big fat does are on my list.
He had a shot but let it walk
Now I’m butchering while we talk.
So ladies, if the rack’s real tall
and you want it mounted on your wall,
Call 1-900-DaddyBear
And we’ll put it over the easy chair
Bambi got rack!
Bambi.Got.Rack.
Got a lot of meat and a great big rack!
Bambi. Got. Rack.
by daddybear71 on September 27, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Earworm, hunting, silliness

Posted by daddybear71 on September 27, 2011

https://daddybearsden.com/2011/09/27/todays-earworm-104/

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