• From the “Interesting” Department – The Senate Intelligence Committee has put out its report on the Benghazi attack, and surprisingly, it’s critical of the Obama administration.   It specifically singles out the departments of State and Defense for not doing more to prevent the attacks after being warned about them by intelligence agencies.  I’m shocked that the Senate, which is dominated by a Democrat majority, would put out such a report on a Democrat administration.   My political cynicism tells me that there’s something afoot here.  From what I can tell, it’s starting to look like Vice-President Biden will square off with former Secretary of State Clinton in the 2016 primaries.  Could this be one of the opening shots in that battle?  Mrs. Clinton made a very public scene when she testified in front of the committee, and now the committee is on the record criticizing her department.  I wonder if there might be a little positioning of Senator Feinstein and her Democrat colleagues to give a boost to Mr. Biden.
• From the “So What?” Department – The NSA apparently has the ability to use compromised hardware to gather intelligence from systems that aren’t connected to the Internet.  It would appear that the agency has only used this capability against foreign targets, although some of them are our allies.  For once, I’m going to have to side with Fort Meade on this one.  Developing and exploiting advanced capabilities to gather information from foreign sources is what the NSA is for.  So long as they are not used against American citizens, I can’t say much.  I’m a bit uncomfortable with using them against allies, but that is what countries do.  What the agency is doing to harm our civil liberties is bad enough.  We don’t need to waste energy complaining about what they do to other countries.
• From the “Advocate” Department – The Obama administration is taking fire over the appointment of a new leader of a Department of Justice office.  The appointee has gained notoriety for providing legal counsel to a convicted cop killer, and has some other troubling history in his legal career.  This is a tough one for me.  Even the most heinous of us deserves an attorney when we run afoul of the law, and that attorney is bound to put up as good a defense as they can.  John Adams, one of our founding fathers, defended the British soldiers who took part in the Boston Massacre, and no-one would say that he held the same beliefs as his clients.  Can we hold a lawyer responsible for who he represents?
• From the “Go Granny!” Department – A 100-year-old woman in Great Britain celebrated her birthday by hiring a male stripper.  Reports are that she brought a bottle of baby oil with her to the pub that night as well.   Apparently she has found the secret to long life:  Looking life in the eye and saying “Forget it, I’m having fun.”
• From the “Blood Runs Red In The Aisles” Department – An elderly man in Florida has been arrested after attacking another older gentleman over having too many items in the express checkout.  Apparently the alleged victim had 22 items instead of 20, and the other man took umbrage at that.  I won’t condemn his motivations, just his methods.  I’ve also been behind the person with 10 to the 5th power items in the “20 items or less” line.  Then again, I’ve also been in the grocery store on seniors day, and let me tell you, those old people don’t like it when they’re crossed, annoyed, or talked to.
• From the “Stoolpigeon?” Department – A man in Mexico was arrested after his pet parrot told police that he was drunk during a traffic stop.  I’m not going to go into why the police believed the parrot, because in our country a dog is a good enough witness to get you arrested and probulated.  The man was arrested for drunk driving, and was allowed to take the parrot to jail with him because it would have stressed the bird to be away from him.  So I guess that when he’s asked what he’s in for, he has a good shot of being believed when he answers “Piracy”.
• From the “Facepalm” Department – Secretary of State John Kerry, songwriter of that golden oldie “Cambodian Christmas”, recently presented his Russian colleague with a pair of large Idaho potatoes.  Apparently the foreign secretary had mentioned the tubers before, so Mr. Kerry thought they’d make a good Christmas gift.  This fits in with the iPod that President Obama presented to the Queen of England, as well as the glass beads Vice President Biden gave to the leaders of a Native American tribe in New York while he was there.
• From the “Tool User” Department – An 80-year-old Illinois man had a talking-to from the police after neighbors complained about his use of a .22 revolver to shoot icicles off of his house.  I’m not sure this is the best method for de-icing the gutters, and I’m disappointed that he would waste rare .22 shells to do it.  I would condemn him for this, but I’ve used a .22 to get mistletoe out of a tree, so I won’t cast the first stone here.
• From the “Plausible” Department – The Iranian news agency has reported that the documents leaked by Edward Snowden show that the United States government was taken over by extraterrestrials in 1945, and we are still under the thumb of our alien Nazi overlords.  Apparently the aliens are based out of Nevada, which explains Harry Reid.
• From the “Insults” Department – National Guard advocates are vociferously disagreeing with statements by General Raymond Odierno that assert that the National Guard is not as good at soldiering as active duty units.  I have to say that I disagree with the good general on this.  Yes, National Guard units don’t train as often as some, not most, active duty units, but they do bring the experience of years of working together in the same job, while active soldiers have much more churn.  Also, the Guard units I supported had a lot less rock painting and motor-pool sweeping than I saw with active duty units.   When the Guard and Reserve units I’ve had experience with trained, they used every available hour, probably because they knew they only had a few days to get through a lot of tasks.

• From the “Wackos Behaving Badly” Department – Two men have been arrested for illegal possession of explosives in the past few days.  One in suburban Maryland had 100 pounds of bomb making materials, while the other was arrested in Ohio with 48 bombs in his car.  Personally, if they’re convicted, I hope they have the book thrown at them.  Dirtbags like this are used to tar those of us who disagree, no matter which side of the political argument we sit on, as dangerous individuals who need to be watched.  They will be used as an example of why the government needs to monitor us even more closely, and will be an excuse to intrude on our rights.  These two ought to share a cell in the sub-basement of a supermax penitentiary in an area with a high water table.
• From the “March of Freedom” Department – Chicago mayor Emmanuel is a sad panda today, as a federal judge has ruled that Chicago laws, which prohibit the otherwise legal transfer and sale of firearms, unconstitutional.  Apparently, all of the crime problems in Chicago are caused by those who are willing to go to a retail establishment, fork over hundreds of dollars, and go through a NICS check, and not those who are prohibited from having a gun in the first place, buy or steal a gun on the street, and use the guns in a crime.  The judge has stayed his decision to give Chicago a chance to appeal, which I expect it will.  I look forward to the day in which a free citizen can simply walk into Mordor while legally armed.
• From the “Dumbasses of the Week” Department – A couple in Oregon were arrested recently after they used methamphetamine as a tip after eating at a restaurant.  Officers later searched their hotel room, and found a meth lab.  Apparently Mr. and Mrs. Einstein thought that the waitress would like a little of their stash as a gratuity, and that led to their downfall of their criminal master plan to turn a Holiday Inn Express into a pharmaceutical hobby house.  Maybe they can stuff these two nincompoops in the same cell as the bluntskulls with the bombs.
• From the “First Runner-Up Dumbass Award” Department – The New York state director of homeland security has been accused of using the laser sight on his handgun to point out things during a presentation in front of foreign dignitaries.  Apparently he made the Swedish delegation a tad nervous when he muzzled them with his pointer.  Remember, kids, only government officials have the training and knowledge to safely carry firearms.
• From the “I Got Nothing” Department – A woman in New Mexico was arrested recently for pointing a Smith and Wesson handgun, which she had been carrying in her underwear, at her boyfriend during an argument over space aliens.  I’ll just leave this one here for you all to make your own snark with.  I like to keep the blog PG.
• From the “Business as Usual” Department – Emails from the staff of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie seem to indicate that an unannounced lane closure on one of the busiest bridges in the country was not done due to a need to study traffic patterns, but rather as political payback against the mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey.  The good mayor had taken the reasonable and sensible action of declining to endorse Governor Christie’s re-election.  In other words, life goes on as it always has in American politics.  Inside sources say that President Obama cut his golf game short to call  Governor Christie and congratulate him on his technique.
• From the “Good Government” Department – A sheriff in North Carolina traded two Thompson machineguns and several old .38 revolvers for patrol rifles and Glock magazines, rather than destroy them.  Good for him.  It’s not often that we see government officials using their heads when it comes to finding creative ways to get the things they need to do their jobs.  Of course, the need for civilian law enforcement to use Bushmaster rifles is debatable, but if he’s got to have them, this is better than feeding antique, collectible guns into a log chipper and asking for a bond issue.

• From the “Classy” Department – Leon Podesta, who recently joined the Obama White House as water carrier, caddie, and ball washer, has come under fire recently for a comment he made comparing the Republican-led House of Representatives to Jonestown.  For those who don’t remember, Jonestown is the site of the murder of a member of the House of Representatives and a mass suicide that killed almost 1000 people, including old people and children.  If the House is like Jonestown, then I guess that makes the Democrat-led Senate like Heaven’s Gate – creepy and castrated.
• From the “Qel Surpris!” Department – Election officials in Ohio have reported that a small number of non-citizens voted in the last election.  In addition, over a quarter million dead people were registered to vote, a key Democrat constituency.  Shocked! Yes, shocked, I am that there were people voting who shouldn’t have been!  If only there were some way that we could make sure that only those who qualify for the franchise are allowed to exercise it.  Now, if you all will excuse me, I have to go dig out the little identification card that allows me to bear arms outside my home.
• From the “Good Luck With That” Department – The London fire brigade is asking the public to use ‘common sense’ after reporting on various rescues it’s had to do in the past year, including aiding a man who had his penis stuck in a toaster.  Like I was told as a young man, common sense isn’t very common, so my guess is that the brave men and women of the fire brigade can look forward to another year of coming to the aid of people doing odd things with their genitals and digits.
• From the “Good For Him” Department – An airport security officer in Poland is being praised for catching a young child who was falling from a table.  The young man is reported to have been rewarded for his act, and I understand that the Green Bay Packers are in negotiations with him.

• From the “Emperor’s New Clothes” Department – The insurance commissioner for the District of Columbia was fired recently after committing the cardinal sin of disagreeing with President Obama’s constitutionally ambiguous moves when it comes to the Affordable Care Act.  It would appear that the commissioner did not wait for authorization before going public with his opinions that the President not enforcing part of the law of the land would cause disruptions in the insurance industry.  How horrible that someone supposedly in his camp would criticize Barack the First.  To the stocks with the scoundrel!  Where are my rotten cabbages?
• From the “There But For The Grace of God” Department – A man in Michigan recently purchased the house next door to his ex-wife, then erected a large statue of a human hand flipping the bird.  Coincidentally, the statue lines up perfectly with her house.  I’m not going to say that this is an adult way to deal with his relationship issues, but speaking as someone who’s been through a divorce, I applaud his creativity.
• From the “Bad Idea” Department – Google is requesting a patent on a neck tattoo that could be used to communicate with personal devices such as a cell phone, as well as being used as a lie detector.  Which I would call neat, except that I look back at my career and consider how many types of SCSI, USB, Serial, and Parallel connections I’ve seen so far.  It’s a heck of a lot of trouble to get a tattoo removed when technology moves on in a year or two.
• From the “Mass Hysteria” Department – Butterball, purveyors of all things that gobble, has advised the American consumer that the supply of fresh turkeys 16 pounds and over will be rather small this Thanksgiving.  As we speak, grocery stores across the nation are being worked over like Berlin in 1945.  Reports are coming in that soccer moms have formed highly motivated teams of turkey scroungers, and are pawing through meat sections looking for the rare unfrozen flightless waterfowl.  The President is expected to speak to the nation on this crisis momentarily, and sources suggest that he will be announcing a new executive order that will mandate the release of emergency government stocks of fowl from helicopters in suburbs and inner cities across the nation.  Stay tuned for live footage of these events.

• From the “PSH” Department – A college and the area around it in Connecticut were put on lock down when a student committed the cardinal sin of walking across campus to his dorm room dressed as a ninja, complete with plastic sword.  Apparently Captain Braincramp spent three days at a party dressed up for Halloween, then walked home in costume, including wearing the mask.  Yeah, he’s probably not the sharpest pencil in the box.  In response, the campus police locked down the college, telling people to stay inside and away from windows, and to be on the lookout for a man dressed in camouflage and carrying a sword, or maybe a gun, or maybe a dwarven battle-axe with +2 advantage against the undead.  The young dumbass was arrested for breaching the peace, so I guess being stupid is indeed against the law in Connecticut.
• Also from the “PSH” Department – A mother in Georgia has been banned from her daughter’s school and threatened with a trespassing citation after the principal was frightened of an image of her concealed carry permit on FaceBook.  Apparently being a veteran, owning guns, and going through the training and background check necessary to get a concealed carry permit makes you a dangerous person who shouldn’t be around children.  I’d say the same thing applies to those who don’t understand the law, are fearful of digital images of pieces of plastic-encased paper, and are panty-wetting bigots who live in fear.  Someone in a position of power over her needs to explain to her who is and who isn’t a danger to her and her students.  I’m not the litigious sort, but I hope that by the time is done, McBean Elementary school in Richmond County, Georgia is renamed “The Tanya Mount Veterans Memorial Firearms Safety Training Academy for Little Sprogs”.
• From the “Enforcing Existing Laws” Department – Two men have been sentenced to federal prison after they pled guilty to trying to sell firearms to people they thought were part of a Canadian motorcycle gang.  In reality, the buyers were Canadian Mounties and agents of the Department of Homeland Security.  One of the men has alleged that he was browbeaten into the deal by what he believed to be criminals, but I don’t buy it.  Here’s the deal:  If someone tries to coerce you into breaking the law, you go to law enforcement.  If it happens that the people trying to make you commit a felony turn out to be cops, no harm, no foul.  If not, then you’ve done a service to your community.  Either way, you don’t become a felon.  And remember kids, the guy who tries to get you to smuggle drugs or guns, harm government officials, or plant IED’s is probably a fed.  Act accordingly.
• From the “Never Disarmed” Department – A woman in California proved the adage that you may not always have a gun, but you are never disarmed when she chased a burglar out of her home with a throwing axe.  The miscreant was found a short distance away from her home with some of her property and a pair of underwear that he no longer wished to wear.  No word yet on whether or not the woman will be sued by the burglar for the psychological harm he realized that his victim was going to try to vivisect him with an axe.
• From the “Close One” Department – A Wisconsin couple, who had gone missing after leaving Yellowstone National Park, were found after a local rancher went looking for them up a closed road.  The hero who found them went as far as his truck could go, then went another few miles on his snowmobile, which will tell you just how far up Shit Creek this couple was.  Apparently they went up the road at the behest of their GPS’s directions, got stuck, and had very little food for their multi-day adventure in the mountains. This is why I still carry paper maps and have a “go-to-hell” kit in our vehicles.  Yeah, they’re a pain to fold up, but doing a sanity check against a map when your GPS tells you to go up Deadman’s Lane, as well as having a few days worth of food, water, and toilet paper, might make the difference between having a pleasant drive in the country and becoming a statistic.
• From the “Own It” Department – President Obama, under fire because people who bought minimum coverage health insurance prior to enactment of his signature health insurance law have started losing that coverage or having their rates jacked up to cover mandatory add-ons, has responded to criticism of his pledge of “If you like your insurance, you can keep it.”  His protestations that rates were already on the way up, that bare-bones coverage was a bad deal, and that the new minimum standards are better for consumers seems to miss the point:  Americans don’t like being told what to do, don’t like being misled, including being misled through fine print in a Byzantine law or regulation, and don’t like having to pay for things they don’t want or need.  Now, I’m not going to argue that it’s not a good idea to have insurance to cover some of the things that Obamacare made mandatory, because I believe that at least some of them are really good ideas.  It’s the “mandatory” part that sticks in my craw.  If all you want is coverage that makes sure that you don’t lose your house in the event that you get dreadfully ill or badly hurt, that’s your business, not mine, and certainly not President Obama’s.  How sad that a political promise that was trumpeted by the President and his minions has come back to bite him in the ass.  Here’s a hint to politicians everywhere:  That big squishy middle of the political spectrum that you all fight over isn’t stupid, has a long memory, and really hates it when blatant lies hurt them in the pocket-book.  Learn from this, and you will go far.  Ignore it at your own peril.

• From the “Good Start” Department – The Vatican has suspended a German bishop who is notorious for his lavish spending habits.  It appears that the wayward cleric spent over $40 million refurbishing his residence, which appears to be the most egregious in a long list of fiscal abuses.  It’s good to see that the Holy See is tamping down on clergy who abuse their position to enrich themselves or make their lives more comfortable. Now if they would only come down as hard on clergy who betray their vows of chastity and the trust of their parishioners, we might see something worth praising.
• From the “Woman Scorned” Department – Archeologists have unearthed a lead tablet containing a pretty strongly worded curse on it.  The tablet was found in the ruins of a Roman home, and is probably about 1,700 years old.  The woman who wrote it implores six separate deities to aid her in taking down a rival, asking that his ability to oppose her be taken away.  In related news, officials from the Obama administration have been reported to be purchasing sheets of lead and books on ancient gods.
• From the “Respect His Authoritah!” Department – Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois, Democrat and founding member of the Americans For The Advancement Of The Enslavement Of Everyone Who Disagrees, has asserted that a Republican House leader made a disrespectful remark to President Obama during ‘negotiations’ during the recent government shutdown.  The White House and House leadership have both stated that the incident never happened, but Durbin is standing behind his statement.  Apparently, the good Senator has an issue with people saying disrespectful things about the Chicago messiah.  Funny, being disrespectful of the office and person of the president wasn’t such a bad thing when people named Reagan and Bush were in the Oval Office, so why is it so bad now?  So, to Senator Durbin, I say this:  “Your president is a worthless waste of protoplasm.  He has the outhouse touch, in that everything he touches turns to crap.  The body of the Communist wench who whelped him ought to be dug up and publicly chastised for what she has wrought on not only the American people, but the entire human race.  The name and image of his father, who had the poor taste to put his name on this disgrace of a son, ought to be purged from the public record and forgotten as atonement for the sin of bringing such a person into the world.  The fact that this bumbling, egotistical, half-wit refugee from a 1970’s blacksploitation movie has executive power over the machinery of a world superpower is not only frightening, but also depressing.  My wish for him, and for you Senator, is to go down in history as the worst example of American politics imaginable, and to be held up as an example of who we do not want to ever see hold public office in the republic.  I shun both of you as I would shun a rabid dog, and I hope you both live out long, lonely lives dwelling on the damage you have done.”
• From the “Get A Rope” Department – A woman in Texas is being prosecuted after a five-year-old child under her care killed himself with her gun.  It appears that the woman was legally carrying a revolver for self-defense, but left it on a coffee table while she took a nap.  Now, because she’s either too lazy or too stupid to secure her firearm, a child is needlessly dead and the rest of us are stained with his blood.  Personally, if she’s convicted, I hope she doesn’t get the death penalty, and that the images of his autopsy photographs and baby pictures are permanently affixed to every wall in her cell.  The prosecutor is right in bringing charges, and I wholeheartedly agree with his assertion that the right to keep and bear arms comes with the responsibility to keep your firearms away from those who have no business having unsupervised access to them, especially children.
• From the “Fashion Crime” Department – The Defense Department is apparently considering changing the Marine uniform by making all Marines wear what has, up to now, been the headgear worn by females.  It seems that it’s not fair that the Marines have the sharpest uniforms and the deepest traditions in the DoD, and we can’t have that, now can we?   Apparently the DoD needs something constructive to do with their time.  It could be worse, I guess.  The Marines could be taking the distinctive headgear of an elite unit and making that the default headgear for the entire force, because everyone deserves to feel special and walk around looking like Chef Boyardee.  I look forward to reports of bar brawls occurring after Marine infantrymen start knocking heads together when taunted about wearing a ladies cap in uniform.
• From the “Equal Protection” Department – Senator Randus Tiberius Paulus. Republican of Kentucky and apparent Tribune of the Plebs,  has introduced an amendment to the Constitution that attempts to stop Congress from passing laws that protect members of the government from being subject to the laws of the land.  A quick layman’s reading of the text of the amendment gives me a good feeling about what it wants to do, and dread for its future.  My guess is that it will die a young and bloody death in Congress.  In the unlikely event that it passes, I foresee decades of litigation as its meaning is twisted and abused to allow whatever the sitting power in government should wish.  (Me, cynical?  Perish the thought).  I wish the good Senator luck, and advise him to watch out for members of the House and Senate who are breaking up their chairs and wielding the legs as clubs.

• From the “Sauce for the Goose” Department – A man in New York has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for conspiring to provide military-grade weapons to the Taliban.  Apparently the gentleman thought that the DEA agent they were talking to was actually a representative of the Taliban and planned to provide small arms, anti-tank missiles, and possibly also anti-aircraft missiles.  If I were this guys lawyer, I’d be appealing.  If the United States government is going to be equipping terrorists, then why should it be illegal for a private citizen to also do it?
• From the “About Damned Time” Department – Members of the Senate are moving to reign in abuses by the National Security Agency.  A new piece of legislation will be wending its way down the yellow brick road of Congress in the next few months, where I’m sure all of the guardians of the republic that make up that august body will not taint it with pork, carve-outs, and poison pills.  They will vouchsafe this restoration of freedom and rights, and will bring back a renaissance of the human spirit and condition through it.  Or they’ll botch the work, find some excuse to let it die, and say “Hey, I tried, didn’t I?” when one of us plebs has the temerity to call them on it.
• From the “Truth Will Out” Department – The EPA has pretty much proven that greenhouse gas regulation is what you do when you don’t want to do something productive.  I cannot imagine how something that says that the regulations they are proposing will do nothing toward their stated goal of reducing global warning got through the review process.  Honesty like that normally gets filtered out and watered down long before we see it.  Of course, if the real goal is to destroy the coal industry, destroying the livelihoods of thousands of people and raising the energy prices of millions more, then this regulation is just peachy.
• From the “Get A Rope” Department – In yet another move in the ever evolving arms race between drug users and people who want drug users to obey, a new, macabre way of getting yourself into an altered state has reared its ugly head in the United States.  Krokodil, a mix of codeine and gasoline, paint thinner, or alcohol, causes a cheap high and gruesome tissue necrosis around the injection site.  (Please make a sanity role before googling up pictures.  If you fail, don’t do it.)  It’s been the fix of last resort for a while in Russia, and apparently is making an appearance here.   I don’t mean to beat the dead horse, but is the damage from the War on Drugs better or worse than the damage we would incur if we just left adults alone to get high and possibly ruin their own lives?  Now, instead of little Johnny going to the corner package store to pick up some safe, regulated chemical intoxicant, we run the risk of him mixing his cough syrup with lighter fluid and shooting up, then turning into something from a Romero picture.

I’ve been following the news about the Navy Yard shooting pretty closely.  Like a lot of people, I’ve been horrified by the number of brushes with the law the guy had and no-one did anything, and I’ve been just shaking my head about how the DOD seems to have dropped the ball on giving him access to installations and a security clearance.

But, after I made sure that everyone I know who does work for the Navy in the DC area was OK, my interest has been pretty academic.

That is, until this morning.

Back in August, I did a business trip to Norfolk, Virginia.  I flew in on Friday and out on Sunday.  As I was sitting in the Southwest terminal waiting for my flight home, there was a black guy a couple of seats down from me on the phone.  He was rather loudly and quite profanely talking to someone at his employer. (I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but people on the other side of the terminal were looking over to see why someone was shouting.)  He specifically mentioned having to deal with airport security and the police.  I mentioned it here.

So, this morning, I checked the news and saw this.

According to Rosalind Baugh, Wallis Boyd and Glynda Boyd, the incident began when Baugh laughed at an innocent joke among loved ones and the man they now believe be Aaron Alexis angrily approached the group. Things quickly escalated, with Alexis screaming profanities and motioning at his side as though he were carrying a weapon. Unable to calm the stranger down, family members called security, who spoke with Alexis in front of a terminal of terrified travelers.

That also happened in the Southwest terminal at Norfolk on August 4.  Now, I’m not absolutely sure that the guy in the picture on the news sites is the guy who was throwing a temper tantrum three feet away from me, but what I remember of him roughly fits the description.

Nothing real to add here.  It’s just a weird coincidence.  If it was indeed the same guy, and if that was his everyday behavior, then the fact that the Navy and law enforcement let him slip through so many cracks becomes even more puzzling.

• From the “Bug, Feature, Whatever” Department – The AFL-CIO, one of the largest unions in the United States and varsity cheerleader for Obamacare when it was wending its way through the midnight backrooms of Congress, has figured out that the Affordable Care Act will make their cherished union health plans too expensive.  Their fear is that eventually unions and employers will eventually be forced to abandon them, which begs the question of whether or not a union does much for its rank and file when the most important benefit goes away.  I guess they believed all of the talk about golden band-aids and free botox delivered by Nancy Pelosi’s Air Force weekend ride.  You know, I can’t remember a time when large unions were publicly criticizing something so near and dear to a Democrat president’s heart.  Here’s hoping that their lapdogs in Congress start to listen to their union constituents instead of kissing the Presidential ring every time someone brings up reform or repeal of Obamacare.
• From the “Coverup Is Such A Dirty Word” Department – The CIA has graciously deigned to make its employees, who were present at the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, available to testify to Congress.  I, and I feel that I speak for a vast majority of Americans here, feel absolutely blessed that the CIA has chosen to indulge our representatives after a year of stonewalling and delay.  How childish I must have been when I believed that the oath of office gave a Congressman or Senator ‘need to know’ and that the executive branch had a duty to answer to the oversight of Congress in a timely and professional manner.  I look forward to a new era of cooperation where President Obama’s cho-gi boys grace us with their attention after obstructing inquiries for a full calendar year.
• From the “Antoinette” Department – Michelle Obama has descended from her shining house on the hill and proclaimed that the American public needs to drink more water.  You see, she has discovered that drinking water is a healthy thing to do, and we plebs have been polluting the purity and essence of our natural fluids for too long.  It’s so nice to know that the woman who by accident of history is married to a temporary government worker can give me nutritional advice.  I’m so glad that she has taken time out of her busy schedule of….. well whatever it is that she does to justify a large staff at taxpayer expense to tell me that I need to drink more water.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for a cup of coffee.
• From the “Chilling” Department – Anyone remember the jackass who was burning Korans a few years ago as a publicity stunt?  Apparently he was trying to turn the shock value up to 11 yesterday when he stuffed a towable barbecue grill full of Korans and kerosene, and was planning on setting them alight after he drove them over to a venue.  That’s when local law enforcement swooped in and arrested him for “unlawful conveyance of fuel”.  Now, I don’t agree with what he has done in the past and what he was planning on doing yesterday.  Honestly, it sickens me. But using an excuse to arrest him so as to prevent him from doing what is, as far as I can tell, a constitutionally protected act is out of line.  Yes, he’s a jackass.  Yes, it’s offensive.  And yes, I wish he wouldn’t do it.  But you know, that’s the compromise of freedom.  You have to accept that people are going to do things that offend you and piss you off if you want to be able to do the things you want to do.  So long as he owned the Korans and didn’t harm anyone else, his acts should not have been interfered with.  He may be a jackass, but he’s a constitutionally protected jackass.  If my cross can be dunked in urine and called protected art or my flag can be burned in the street and be protected political speech, then the government shouldn’t be interfering with him doing his own despicable spiel.
• From the “Poor Planning” Department – Speaking of jackasses, my latest “Dumbass of the Day” award goes to the leadership of the fire department at Boston’s Logan airport.   Yesterday, which for those without a calendar was the 12th anniversary of 9/11, someone thought it would be a grand idea to hold a fire drill, complete with real fires and smoke.  As you can imagine, it didn’t go over well with those traveling yesterday.  One would have thought that someone would have noticed the date during the planning process and decided to put off that particular activity.

• From the “Wouldn’t Surprise Me” Department – Bradley Manning, who was recently convicted of releasing classified material and sentenced to a few decades of time out to think about what he’s done, has appealed to President Obama for a pardon.  The petition claims that when Manning knowingly took thousands of files containing details about ongoing operations, intelligence sources, and the secret recipe to yakisoba in the chow hall and gave them to an organization that then published them on the Internet, he was doing so out of concern for his country and the world.  I guess the risk to the people who were providing us with intelligence was mitigated by the benefits the world gained by knowing that if you drive an unmarked van into a firefight, then U.S. forces might convert it into a convertible with a machine gun.  I have to admit that my partisan-politics side is showing enough that I believe that President Obama might just do this.
• From the “Good News” Department – The current Congress is on track to be one of the least productive sessions in recent memory.  Apparently only 24 of the laws passed so far have been ‘substantive’, meaning that they are more important than resolutions in support of their favorite candidate on “Who Wants to Prove They Never Took A Singing Lesson?”.  To this I say to Congress:  Keep up the good work!  Fewer laws means fewer ways we get hosed.  Yes, there are things that Congress should be working on, such as an actual budget instead of continuing resolutions, but if I have to choose between an industrious Congress or one that’s deadlocked, I’ll choose deadlock almost every time.
• From the “Shot in Lodi Again” Department – A SWAT team member in Lodi, California, was recently shot with his own gun after a young child was able to get at the trigger of his handgun and fire it.  Luckily, the officer’s injuries were minor.  Apparently Deputy Tacticool was wearing a drop-leg holster at a static display for school children.  I just have two questions:  What brand of holster was he using, so I never buy one, and why does Lodi have a SWAT team?
• From the “Can We Keep It, Mom?” Department – Youths in Russia recently found a World War II vintage artillery shell while swimming and brought it home.  After figuring out what they had, they alerted authorities, who destroyed the shell.  Luckily, no-one was hurt.  This reminds me of the time a trooper in the 4th Infantry Division walked into the S-2 section of the brigade I was working with and plunked down a dud artillery shell that he’d found.  Reports are that he asked the first soldier that talked to him if the thing was real and if it was dangerous.  I was asleep at the time, but apparently the tent cleared out quite quickly.
• From the “Gun Laws Work So Well” Department – Police in Sierra Vista, Arizona, recently arrested three men after a high-speed chase. Police allege that someone in the vehicle threw a rifle with a suppressor out of the car during the pursuit.  Two of the people who were arrested were felons, who should not have had a gun at all, and one of them had drug paraphernalia, meaning that he couldn’t have truthfully passed a background check.  My guess is that more charges are going to be filed, since somebody probably broke the NFA with that suppressor.  My gut tells me that felons and drug users might find it hard to get a tax stamp from the ATF.  How horrible that these criminals found a way to get around all those comprehensive gun control laws.  They must be absolute criminal masterminds.
• From the “Facepalm!” Department – The pastor of a Baptist church in North Carolina recently expressed her wish that only white people be used as greeters at the door to her church.  Apparently this woman of African descent believed that putting the best face on her church meant putting lilly white window dressing in front of her multi-ethnic congregation.  I was going to turn this into a talk about racism, but really, it’s just garden variety stupidity.
• From the “Gray Bar Hotel” Department – Rapist, kidnapper, and all around douchebag Ariel Castro was found hung by his own hand in his jail cell today.  This waste of a good bullet was convicted of keeping three women hostage in his house for years, fathering at least one child with them, and repeatedly raping, beating, and starving them.  Here’s hoping that he finds justice in the next world, because he cheated it in this one.  In unrelated news, Nidal Hasan, the piece of crap wanna-be jihadist who murdered a pregnant soldier while she begged for the life of her unborn child, along with other soldiers and civilians at Fort Hood, was recently shaved by authorities at the military prison he’s been assigned to.  Hasan had refused to shave during his trial, but it appears that once you’ve been convicted, your preferences about facial hair amount to precisely diddly over squat.  My hope is that they did it with a rusty coffee can lid.  Here’s hoping that he lives a very long, very painful life while watching the world go by through concertina wire, and that when they finally execute him, they use the right amount of paralytic, but not enough pain-killer.