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Curious

Hurricane Sandy and her aftermath have been a test of preparedness at all levels.  I’m curious to hear from those of you who went through the storm about what you expected versus what happened.  I’d also like to know what preparations you made that turned out to be useful, versus what you did that turned out to not have been a factor.  I’d also like to hear any lessons y’all learned, especially things that you wish you’d done to get ready for the storm.

I’d like to use what you can tell us to appraise my own prepping, and as a resource for someone who is beginning their work to do, buy, and learn things that will help them in an emergency.  Please leave your thoughts in comments.  Feel free to link to your own posts that deal with the subject if you’re doing your own write-up.  Thanks!

DaddyBear’s Advice Column

Today we begin a new feature, DaddyBear’s Advice Column.  I will take requests from figures in the news for advice, and try to ‘help’ them with their problems.  Enjoy!

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Dear DaddyBear,

I am a middle-aged woman living in the Carolina’s.  A few years ago, I met a man while working for his organization, and we hit it off.  Eventually, it became a physical and emotional relationship, and we had a child together, a beautiful baby daughter.  Unfortunately, he was married at the time and was trying to reach a very important personal goal, so he couldn’t publicly acknowledge either of us.  He asked me to keep our relationship and the paternity of our child a secret, and I tried to comply.  We even took  the extreme measure of having one of his subordinates claim to be our daughter’s father.  As it often does, the truth eventually came out, and he was publicly shamed in the press for cheating on his wife, who was dealing with cancer, and going to extremes to hide the truth.  It even got to the point that the government prosecuted him because he was accused of taking money from his organization to pay child support and living expenses to me.

Now that his wife has died, he and I are still friendly, and I hope to raise our child with him.  What concerns me is that I recently found out that he lied to me when he told me he had never cheated on his wife until he met and fell in love with me.  He has admitted that he had two previous affairs, but maintains that he will never cheat on me.  I have forgiven him for his failure to be truthful with me, but I wonder if I was too gullible when we were in our relationship. What do you think?

Thanks!

R from North Carolina

Dear R,

Yes, I think you were too gullible when you were hooking up with a married, lieing, philandering snake of an ambulance chaser, you psycho harpy of a hosebeast.  What did you think when you started sniffing around a married man who either initiated said sniffing or quickly reciprocated?  Did you really believe that in all your loveliness that you could easily drag a man out of the marital bed and that he had no experience at all in doing such things?  Didn’t the “Man From Uncle” security arrangements and secrecy he accomplished so adroitly clue you in to the fact that he had a little experience in this sort of thing?  Are you so completely vacuous that it never occurred to you that he was too good at cheating for this to be his maiden voyage into the seas of adultery?

I’m glad that you two lovebirds have been able to work things out now that you’ve brought a child into this pathetic pot of goo and his wife has died a slow death.  I hope for her sake that she was able to get over the fact that while she was getting a chemotherapy injection you were getting a DNA injection.  I also hope that your child never learns the sordid manner in which you created her. Doing so might do irreparable damage to her psyche.  I mean, who wants to know that she is the product of an adulterous relationship between a scummy politician and a convenient bedwarmer that happened while his wife was taking a final walk to the grave?

One final thought and then I’m done with you, R.  Are you so naive to think that your sweetie has never cheated on you?  You already admit that he cheated on his wife before he met you and that he engenders so much loyalty in his staff that one of them was willing to claim paternity over your daughter to save his boss embarrassment.  Heck, he didn’t even acknowledge your daughter until both of you were on the cover of the National Enquirer, for heaven’s sake.  How can you be sure that when he’s not in your direct line of vision, he’s not off chasing the latest shiny thing into a scuzzy hotel room somewhere and his ‘people’ aren’t covering for him again?  I’ll leave you with that image and wish you a long, anxiety and guilt ridden life.

Cheers,

DaddyBear

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Advice

Men, if your wife spends the morning power washing the exterior of your home, which for the most part means blasting off the accumulated grime and algae that’s stuck to the sidewalk, and a lot of it ends up deposited on her from head to foot, it is not in your best interest to refer to her as “My Sexy Swamp Thing”.

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