- From the “Bulgogi In Space!!!!!” Department – Well, what do you know? Manny, Moe , and Jack-sungsenim were able to get their bucket of bolts off the ground and into orbit. Of course, it’s reported to be tumbling wildly and the world is bracing for when the thing inevitably falls from the sky, raining death and destruction upon whichever unfortunate Seoul it happens to land. But then, I’ve never put a missile prototype into orbit, so congratulations to Glorious Leader and his pack of Russian, Chinese, Libyan, and Iranian hirelings.
- From the “Moral Conundrum” Department – Two men are in trouble with the law after it was learned that they were making detailed plans to kidnap, mutilate, and murder singer Justin Bieber. While I’m glad Bieber is safe, I’m also glad that none of my children ever got into his music. And to be honest, who wants to see such a talented young girl harmed anyway?
- From the “Diaphragms for Does” Department – A suburb in New York is planning on getting control of its deer population by shooting does with contraceptive darts. The treatment is supposed to keep the does from getting pregnant for three years. No word on how much the program is going to cost, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to cost more than what the town would make if they were to hold a $10 a head raffle to be part of a bow hunt.
- From the “Get A Rope” Department – A Pennsylvania couple is going to hell on a scholarship after it was discovered that they were running a dog fighting ring out of their home. Apparently “man’s best friend” got translated into “man’s best outlet for barbarism”. Here’s hoping they end up in a small cage, brutalized, and fed bad food for the rest of their life, just like they did with their dogs.
- From the “Literature Critic” Department – A library in Ontario is being forced to destroy thousands of dollars worth of books after someone has made a habit of urinating on them. Breda was unavailable for comment, although confidential sources have indicated that the world’s most dangerous librarian is forming a crack strike team to head to Canada and track down this animal and terminate him with extreme prejudice.
All posts by daddybear71
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on December 13, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/13/news-roundup-165/
Christmas Carol
Silent range,
Cold range
Everyone behind
The yellow line
Guns lay still with chambers open
RSO checks that nothing is loaded
The range is cold
You may go down-range
The range is cold
You may go down-range
——————————————————————-
Silent range,
Cold range
Targets adjusted
Back behind the line
RSO checks that no-one is down range
He yells at a dimwit who is acting strange
Ready on the ri-ight?
Ready o-n the left?
Posted by daddybear71 on December 13, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/13/christmas-carol-3/
30 Days of Dickens – Day 9
When men are about to commit, or sanction the commission of some injustice, it is not uncommon for them to express pity for the object either of that or some parallel proceeding, and to feel themselves, at the time, quite virtuous and moral, and immensely superior to those who express no pity at all. This is a kind of upholding of faith above works, and is very comfortable. — Nicholas Nickleby
My Take – Some of the worst things that have happened in my life were done for my own good, or at least that’s what the busybody who did them thought. Those who believe in the perfectability of man usually have the best of intentions, at least at first. They just want to uplift the oppressed, or avenge the wronged, or whatever. Problem is, they almost always fall short of their promises, even to themselves, and their reaction tends to be rather emotional. On a personal level, they just become annoying and piquish. On a national scale, they become the Inquisition, or the NKVD, or the ONDCP. If we were just left alone to fend for ourselves, to live the lives we want, a lot of the issues in the world wouldn’t have occurred in the first place.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 13, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/13/30-days-of-dickens-day-9/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on December 13, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/13/todays-earworm-281/
Christmas Carol
You better not flinch
You better not jerk
On muzzle control
You better do some work
Gunnie Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you short stroke
He knows your gun’s not clean
He knows your bayonet won’t poke
So clean out that cosmoline!
You better stock up
On ammo tonight
Polish your brass
‘Til it shines real bright
Gunnie Claus is coming to town!
Posted by daddybear71 on December 12, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/12/christmas-carol-2/
Twelves Day
It’s 12:12 on 12/12/12.
Hoopla…
I guess.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 12, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/12/twelves-day/
30 Days of Dickens – Day 8
“The labour is so pleasant,”said Agnes,”that it is scarcely grateful in me to call it by that name.” — David Copperfield
My Take – Work I enjoy, no matter how difficult or seemingly unpleasant, always seems to go by quickly. Mary Poppins was onto something with that whole “spoon ful of sugar” idea. If I like what I’m doing, I do more work and I do it better. The best trick is to find a hobby that you love and that others will pay you to do.
Posted by daddybear71 on December 12, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/12/30-days-of-dickens-day-8/
Today’s Earworm
Hey, you sing Christmas music your way, I’ll sing it mine!
Posted by daddybear71 on December 12, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/12/todays-earworm-280/
Overheard in the Living Room
Irish Woman, watching a show about the Revolution on the TV: If we were around during the Revolution, what would you have done?
Me: Joined the Army, what else? I see you running a tavern somewhere, serving beer and hard whiskey.
Irish Woman: I couldn’t have run a tavern!
Me: Of course you could have. You’re Irish. I’m surprised you people don’t use them as maternity wards.
Irish Woman: You know that women wouldn’t have been allowed to run a bar back then. A brothel, maybe, but not a bar.
Me: ……….
Posted by daddybear71 on December 11, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/11/overheard-in-the-living-room-16/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on December 11, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/11/todays-earworm-250/







