• Archives

  • Topics

  • Meta

  • The Boogeyman - Working Vacation
  • Coming Home
  • Via Serica

News Roundup

  • From the “Bulgogi In Space!!!!!” Department – Well, what do you know?  Manny, Moe , and Jack-sungsenim were able to get their bucket of bolts off the ground and into orbit.  Of course, it’s reported to be tumbling wildly and the world is bracing for when the thing inevitably falls from the sky, raining death and destruction upon whichever unfortunate Seoul it happens to land.  But then, I’ve never put a missile prototype into orbit, so congratulations to Glorious Leader and his pack of Russian, Chinese, Libyan, and Iranian hirelings.
  • From the “Moral Conundrum” Department – Two men are in trouble with the law after it was learned that they were making detailed plans to kidnap, mutilate, and murder singer Justin Bieber.  While I’m glad Bieber is safe, I’m also glad that none of my children ever got into his music.  And to be honest, who wants to see such a talented young girl harmed anyway?
  • From the “Diaphragms for Does” Department – A suburb in New York is planning on getting control of its deer population by shooting does with contraceptive darts.  The treatment is supposed to keep the does from getting pregnant for three years.  No word on how much the program is going to cost, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to cost more than what the town would make if they were to hold a $10 a head raffle to be part of a bow hunt.
  • From the “Get A Rope” Department – A Pennsylvania couple is going to hell on a scholarship after it was discovered that they were running a dog fighting ring out of their home.   Apparently “man’s best friend” got translated into “man’s best outlet for barbarism”.  Here’s hoping they end up in a small cage, brutalized, and fed bad food for the rest of their life, just like they did with their dogs.
  • From the “Literature Critic” Department – A library in Ontario is being forced to destroy thousands of dollars worth of books after someone has made a habit of urinating on them.  Breda was unavailable for comment, although confidential sources have indicated that the world’s most dangerous librarian is forming a crack strike team to head to Canada and track down this animal and terminate him with extreme prejudice.

Christmas Carol

Silent range,
Cold range
Everyone behind
The yellow line

Guns lay still with chambers open
RSO checks that nothing is loaded

The range is cold
You may go down-range

The range is cold
You may go down-range

——————————————————————-

Silent range,
Cold range
Targets adjusted
Back behind the line

RSO checks that no-one is down range
He yells at a dimwit who is acting strange

Ready on the ri-ight?
Ready o-n the left?

 

30 Days of Dickens – Day 9

When men are about to commit, or sanction the commission of some injustice, it is not uncommon for them to express pity for the object either of that or some parallel proceeding, and to feel themselves, at the time, quite virtuous and moral, and immensely superior to those who express no pity at all. This is a kind of upholding of faith above works, and is very comfortable. — Nicholas Nickleby

 

My Take – Some of the worst things that have happened in my life were done for my own good, or at least that’s what the busybody who did them thought.  Those who believe in the perfectability of man usually have the best of intentions, at least at first.  They just want to uplift the oppressed, or avenge the wronged, or whatever.  Problem is, they almost always fall short of their promises, even to themselves, and their reaction tends to be rather emotional.  On a personal level, they just become annoying and piquish.  On a national scale, they become the Inquisition, or the NKVD, or the ONDCP.  If we were just left alone to fend for ourselves, to live the lives we want, a lot of the issues in the world wouldn’t have occurred in the first place.

Today’s Earworm

Christmas Carol

You better not flinch
You better not jerk
On muzzle control
You better do some work

Gunnie Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you short stroke
He knows your gun’s not clean
He knows your bayonet won’t poke
So clean out that cosmoline!

You better stock up
On ammo tonight
Polish your brass
‘Til it shines real bright

Gunnie Claus is coming to town!

Twelves Day

It’s 12:12 on 12/12/12.

Hoopla…

I guess.

30 Days of Dickens – Day 8

“The labour is so pleasant,”said Agnes,”that it is scarcely grateful in me to call it by that name.” — David Copperfield

My Take – Work I enjoy, no matter how difficult or seemingly unpleasant, always seems to go by quickly.  Mary Poppins was onto something with that whole “spoon ful of sugar” idea.  If I like what I’m doing, I do more work and I do it better.  The best trick is to find a hobby that you love and that others will pay you to do.

Today’s Earworm

 

Hey, you sing Christmas music your way, I’ll sing it mine!

Overheard in the Living Room

Irish Woman, watching a show about the Revolution on the TV:  If we were around during the Revolution, what would you have done?

Me:  Joined the Army, what else?  I see you running a tavern somewhere, serving beer and hard whiskey.

Irish Woman:  I couldn’t have run a tavern!

Me:  Of course you could have.  You’re Irish.  I’m surprised you people don’t use them as maternity wards.

Irish Woman:  You know that women wouldn’t have been allowed to run a bar back then.  A brothel, maybe, but not a bar.

Me: ……….

Today’s Earworm