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Today’s Earworm

Thought for the Day

Well, I am apparently the third and final resident of our home to come Down With The Sickness. I’m going to take some NyQuil and get Stupified. Hopefully, I’ll be able to drift off to sleep and enjoy the Sound of Silence. I really hope that I get some rest and am not Disturbed.

Thought for the Day

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. 

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863

Today’s Earworm

Today’s Earworm

Well, I never knew I needed a theme song, but here we are.

Today’s Earworm

On Dishes, Dishwashers, and the Joy of Simple Tasks

It’s been a little over a year since our dishwasher died. We bought it about a year after we bought our house, so it was somewhere around three years old when it decided it no longer wanted to work. So, just old enough to be out of warrantee.

Yeah, life’s funny sometimes.

So, I was left with a 3 year old dishwasher that wouldn’t stop running its water pump, would not respond to the control panel, and eventually just had to have its breaker flipped to get some peace in my kitchen.

I looked at what my limited skillset and knowledge would let me, and I could find nothing wrong. The appliance repairman charges $150 to come to the house for an hour, and parts can get expensive. I paid about $450 for the darned thing on sale, so paying 1/3 of its price tag to get it looked at before paying for parts and an actual fix just didn’t seem to make sense.

And to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t happy with the contraption anyway. Being as young as it is, it’s one of those modern, highly efficient, ineffective models. You know, the kind where you basically have to hand wash the dishes, arrange them perfectly, run the water until it’s as hot as you can, then set it to run overnight because the super-duper-this-time-for-sure cycle takes between four and six hours to complete. We used top of the line detergent and ran the cleaning cycle every weekend.

And still, fully 1/3 of the dishes would be unclean in some way when I cracked it open to empty it the next morning.

It made me misty to remember the dishwasher my maternal grandmother had, which would probably have done a really good job cleaning the rust and scale off of a marine diesel had it been given the chance and strong enough detergent.

But hey, the new dishwashers use half the electricity and water per cycle. Granted, I had to run a sink full of water to ‘pre-wash’ everything, and still had to run the dishes through multiple cycles to get them clean, but progress is progress, I guess.

I looked at the next step up for a dishwasher, but the price curve between “It’ll likely clean some of your dishes” to “It’ll likely clean most of your dishes” is pretty steep.

Did I mention that I’m a cheap bastard?

So, being stubborn, I fished the dishrack out from under the sink, retrieved a scrubby pad from the box I keep down in the garage, and just started doing our dishes by hand. I figured that eventually the Venn diagram of “I remember we need a new dishwasher” and “The price of a decentish dishwasher that doesn’t require me to cosplay as a scullery maid to get the cereal bowls clean comes down a tad” would become more than two circles orbiting each other.

This morning, 13 months later, I invested in a couple of silicone drying mats to go next to the dishrack so that I could retire the Super Mario Brothers beach towel I’ve been using for large pans and overflow when we cook a big meal. Thanksgiving is coming, after all.

Over that time, a strange thing has happened – I started to sort of enjoy the twice-daily chore of doing dishes. Now, there are only the three of us in the house, and we rarely make anything that takes more than a couple of pots. It’s not like I’m cleaning up after feeding a farm crew or having to sanitize baby bottles for triplets or anything like that. A couple of glasses, some plates and bowls, some silverware and cutlery, and whatever pots and pans we use is about it. Total, it’s less than 30 minutes a day, and I’m not afraid to scrape a pan as best I can, fill it with hot sudsy water, and let it sit in the sink to be done with the breakfast dishes.

During that time, I listen to podcasts, audiobooks, or music. Hot water feels really good on aching hands, and the new puppy has learned that if she lays down on my feet while I’m standing at the sink, she gets a treat when I’m done.

It’s pleasant, and not a bad way to spend half an hour. Organizing the dishes, rinsing/scrubbing them, loading the dishwasher, then unloading it the next morning takes almost as long, so the convenience really isn’t there.

So, for now, I’m going to keep at it with a dishcloth, a plastic scraper-thingie, and a labrador retriever. Someday, appliances will get good enough that a quick rinse and a couple of hours are good enough to justify the cost, but for now, I’ll just keep doing them by hand.

Today’s Earworm

Road Runner and Wiley Coyote On The Battlefield

Player – I fire my rpg.

DM – OK, roll to see if you hit the target.

Player – Darn, a 1

DM – OK, so, you have a misfire, but the projectile does clear the launcher. Roll again to see what it does.

Player – Wow, a 20.

DM – Hmm. OK, so you don’t hit the target in a normal fashion, but the warhead shoots out, hits the ground about 25 meters in front of you, then bounces three times before landing on the target and exploding.

Player – …..

Player – You mean….

DM – Yes, you catastrophically failed successfully.

Musings

Good – You make two batches of vanilla extract each year. The recipe is several vanilla beans, sliced lengthwise and placed in a whiskey bottle, along with 750ml of whatever distilled alcohol you like. You usually use something neutral like vodka or moonshine, but have dabbled with different bourbons. Let soak in a dark place for four to six months, turning about once every month or so.

Also good – You just finished the latest batch of vanilla extract, filling up your ‘in-use’ bottle just before the holiday baking season. You place said bottle on the shelf above the stove for easy access when it’s needed.

Excellent – Your darling wife, the queen of your universe, hurries home from work to make dinner. Tonight’s meal was egg roll stir fry, a family favorite. During said dinner preparation, she turns on the rather strong fan above the cooktop to vent out the steam from her cooking.

Not good – The fan appears to be a little out of balance and in need of cleaning, because it started to vibrate a tad. By ‘a tad’, I mean it reached a harmonic that vibrated the extremely full bottle of homemade vanilla extract off its shelf and down onto the glass cooktop.

Good – The glass cooktop was not harmed by the impact of 750ml of homemade vanilla extract falling about 3 feet at 32 feet per second per second.

Not good – Said bottle of homemade vanilla extract did not survive its fall.

Good – The entire kitchen and eventually the entire house now smells like your grandmother’s sugar cookies.

Not good – You were a little hungry when this all happened. You move to ‘ravenous’ while you mop up the vanilla. Pavlov’s got nothing on grandma’s cookies.

Good – Nobody was harmed by the shards of glass, and the 3/4 of a liter of vanilla extract was mopped up within about 15 minutes.

Not good – The vanilla extract and broken glass splashed across about half the kitchen, including into the wok. This also includes the half liter of extract that ran down the front of the cupboards under the cooktop and into the drawers where all of your mixing bowls and all of our pans and lids are stored.

Good – You were able to get all of the glass picked/swept up without cutting yourself or anyone else, the vanilla extract puddles in various drawers was cleaned up rather quickly, and pizza can be delivered to your home.

Not good – Every single mixing bowl, pan, and pan lid you own had to be pulled from the drawers, along with the shelf liner at the bottom of the drawer, and washed to make sure that the next time you make spaghetti, it doesn’t come out smelling like vanilla ice cream topped with marinara.

Good – You were thinking you needed to replace the shelf liners anyway, so throwing the old liners out was not that big a deal.

Not good – You cannot find the roll of shelf liner you thought you had stored safely, so all of those dishes are currently sitting on your counters and kitchen table until you can go to Walmart tomorrow to buy more shelf liner.

Horrible – Your latest batch of vanilla extract won’t be ready for use until March at the earliest. You make plans to go to the restaurant supply store tomorrow to buy the biggest bottle of vanilla extract known to mankind. Your wallet is already crying softly and rocking itself in the corner of your back pocket.

——————————————

There are two modes I go through when cleaning out a closet.

The first is “Oh, I remember where we got this. Ah, memories! How could I even consider parting with this?”

The second is “Where in the $!#!$ did this come from? I have no memory of this, so I have no idea why we have it. It’s either to the garbage, recycling, or donation bin with it!”

This week, I’ve had the discipline to have the second attitude, and my closets haven’t looked this good since we moved in years ago.