Good morning, sports fans!

Welcome to today’s snortal combat event.

First, in the black and white fur with a red collar, weighing in at a svelte 22 pounds, we have SOOOOPHIEEEE!!!!! Sophie has that wicked long snout, so she’s known for a finishing move that includes putting her opponent’s entire head in her mouth and chomping down. Look for her to use that long Dachshund body of hers to snake her way into and out of every confrontation.

In this corner, weighing in at 18 pounds and dressed in all black with a pink collar, we have the rookie, MAAAGGGGGIIIIEEEE!!!! Maggie makes up for her lack of experience and finesse with a bottomless supply of energy and a mouth full of piranha teeth. Look for her to overwhelm her opponent with rapid hit and run maneuvers, followed by grabbing them by the hamstring and running like like her ears were on fire.

Look for a series of fast encounters in the living room and kitchen, then wrestling and rolling around until these two gladiators slam up against the piano. For the outside part of this event, they will run laps around the maple tree, first one way, then the other. Finally, the fight will move to the back deck, where the use of chairs and leaps from the turnbuckles always get the crowd roaring.

The winner of this bout gets to move on to face Bonaducci in the title match, so look for this to be a hard fought growlfest. We’re going to have three five-minute rounds, with twenty minute naps in between to let the combatants recharge.

Now, LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUMMMMBBBBBLLLEEEE!!!!!