With apologies to The Human League, in memory of the Crowdstrike incident of 2024 –

You were working as a sysad on a web server farm
When I called you
I looked you up, I called you up, and screamed into your ear
Turned your sleep into something new
Now five minutes later on. you’re on a conference call
Sleep was so dreamy for you
But don’t forget, you’re the on call
And you’ll sleep when I tell you to.

Can’t, can’t you fix this?
You’re the on-call, so you have to join the Teams bridge
Can’t, can’t you fix this?
Why won’t you just believe me when I say it’s a problem with DNS?
It’s much too late to sleep!
Now don’t you make a peep!
You’d better fix this now or we will both be sorry!

Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh
Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh
Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh

I was working as a sysad on a web server farm
That much is true
But when you rang, I knew I’d be up all night
Either with or without proof
The five hour’s we’ve worked have been such bad times
I still hate you
But now I think it’s time I went back to bed
I guess it’s just what I must do

Why, why’d you call me?
You know I can’t help you with the problem while you’re shrieking
Why, why’d you call me?
Why won’t you believe me when I say I can’t help you?

Can’t, can’t you fix this?
You’re the on-call, so you have to join the Teams bridge
Can’t, can’t you fix this?
Why won’t you just believe me when I say it’s a problem with DNS?
It’s much too late to sleep!
Now don’t you make a peep!
You’d better fix this now or we will both be sorry!

Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh
Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh
Why’d you call me, baby?
Why’d you call me? Oh