- Family Vacation Math – 3 People times 3 Days on the Road = 6 Large Loads of Laundry
- Family Dinner Math – One crockpot each of chili and chicken-n-dumplings is enough to feed a family of 3 for 3 days, assuming that the teenager in question eats like Godzilla and considers leftovers as snack food.
- Corollary – 2 pounds of bacon, cooked properly, yields between 1/2 and 3/4 of a pint of bacon grease, and will feed that family for at least three breakfasts. That is, unless the teenager in question decides that 2 pounds of bacon, cooked, makes for a dandy snack.
- Parenting tip – Telling the teenager that the yogurts you bought are for his mother and threatening to rain down hellfire if he so much as touches them can be effective, especially if that special red light comes up behind your eyes as you say it.
- This may also be true for the cherry sorbet you keep at the back of the freezer.
- One of the biggest lessons I learned in life is that I am under no obligation to set myself on fire so that others can be warm.
- “You’re not working, so you should be able to do this for us” is not how you get someone to assist you in something that is not a necessity of life.
- With the change in my employment status, so too comes the change in my medical insurance. Apparently, in order to get the medicine for my arthritis, my doctor is going to have to chant arcane passages from the Silmarillion, in the original Nawatl, while standing next to a bonfire at the top of his office building during a full moon. I will then have to journey through a dark, misty forest to meet pharmaceutical fae at an abandoned crossroads and exchange the sweat of my brow and the blood of my veins for two small vials of iridescent ointment that will have to last me through three full cycles of the moon.
- My firstborn is no longer available, so we had to go with an alternate method of payment.
Musings
Posted by daddybear71 on April 9, 2025
https://daddybearsden.com/2025/04/09/musings-388/
Previous Post
News Roundup
News Roundup
Next Post
Alphabet Silliness
Alphabet Silliness
1 Comment
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Anonymous
/ April 9, 2025Ah, teenagers…can’t feed em, can’t kill em…
LikeLike