- Don’t subtract from the population – Valentine’s Day is a great day to find out that your significant other has been sprinkling the landscape with their affections. If this should happen to you, take a deep breath and remember that they’re not worth the prison time.
- Don’t add to the population – Ever wonder why obstetricians always look like hell around Thanksgiving? It’s because folks lose their everloving minds around Valentine’s. Unless both parties involved are fully aware that a child can be the product of PX jewelry and gas station flowers and agree that putting a bun in someone’s oven is a good idea, take precautions. Remember, Captain Condom says “Wrap that rascal!”.
- Don’t drink and drive – Yes, that pink champagne goes down real easy. So does your bank account and life expectancy when you risk getting pulled over and doing the Harlem Shake on the median for the nice deputy. Either have a designated driver or budget for an Uber.
- Related to item number 1 – Check on your buddies! I’ll say that again for the folks in the back – Check on your buddies! Reminders that you were once in love, or realizing that you don’t have anyone to love right now, can be hard for anyone. Make sure the folks on your left and right are OK, and for heaven’s sake respond when somebody reaches out.
- Finally, please remember School of Cool Rule Number 1 – Don’t be f&*#ing stupid! That stripper doesn’t love you, even if the heart shaped pasties make her eyes sparkle. That bouncer really doesn’t like you, but will oblige by loaning you an ass kicking if you need one. There is no such thing as a good deal on a used car to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Last, but not least, if you find yourself standing in a wedding chapel or in front of a justice of the peace and you have to think hard to remember their middle name, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit!
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Join the NRA
Valentine’s Day Weekend Safety Brief
Posted by daddybear71 on February 14, 2025
https://daddybearsden.com/2025/02/14/valentines-day-weekend-safety-brief/
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DaddyBear
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Anonymous
/ February 16, 2025” Valentine’s Day is a great day to find out that your significant other has been sprinkling the landscape with their affections.”
I assume you mean “NOT a great day…”.
???
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daddybear71
/ February 16, 2025No, it’s a great day to find out. Must be. So many people arrive at this conclusion on February 14, it must be a good day for it.
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