Me, examining a new piece of industrial cutlery the big brown truck of happiness delivered today – This is cool, but it needs to be sharpened up a bit.

Her – Do not sharpen that!

Me, running my thumb along the relatively sharp edge – Why?

Her – Because there’s a 200% chance of you cutting yourself with that. If it had one edge, there’d only be a 100% chance, but it has two, so it’s 200%.

She’s not wrong. Luckily, I had a bandaid handy.