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  • An easy way to accidentally squick out a teenage girl is to look up from the plate holding the fried alligator chunks and frog legs and say “Ribbit Ribbit.”
  • I have it on good authority that an efficient way to catch sharks is to fish for them next to a shrimp boat that is separating the shrimp from the fish after hauling up its nets.
  • You see a bridge piling, the osprey sees a condo with a view of the smorgasbord.
  • Seagull chicks are kind of cute.  Puberty must kick them in the ass.
  • Yes, I brought a telescope to the beach.  You can see a lot out here without the lights of the city.  No, it’s not pointed at the beach in the daytime. Get your mind out of the gutter.
  • You know you’ve raised her right when your daughter uses the phrase “sweating like a whore in church” while describing how hot it is in the sun.


  1. And how did Irish Woman feel about that last?

  2. She didn’t hear it, but she probably would have rolled her eyes and then given me The Look.

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