- From the “Sovereign Nation” Department – Canada is taking heat from the World Health Organization after Canada put severe restrictions on visas for citizens of countries impacted by the Ebola epidemic in Africa. Apparently the WHO would prefer for Canada to follow the path our country is going down, which is to take everyone’s temperature at the border, half heartedly try to keep those we deem at risk in
quarantineobservation, then fold like a cheap suit when they complain about the accomodations. - From the “Good Samaritan” Department – The city of Fort Lauderdale in Florida has passed a law making it illegal to feed the homeless in public, and has arrested at least three people for ignoring the law. I’m as heartless as the next guy, but if someone feels the personal need to help out their fellow man, what business does the state have in stopping them? Let the good people take care of those who cannot care for themselves, and we just might make this a better place to live.
- From the “d’Artagnon” Department – Scientists have discovered that some male hummingbirds use their long beaks to stab competitors for mating space in the throat. The closest I’ve ever come to seeing similar behavior in humans was watching two Russian truck drivers have a knife fight over a prostitute outside of Tver.
- From the “Till Key” Department – In other animal news, a study of bats has found that some species use their voices to ‘jam’ the echolocation of other bats while hunting insects. Just goes to show, even in nature, there are jerks.
- From the “Bwahahahaha!” Department – A man in London became a viral sensation the other day when he revved his Lamborghini so much that it set itself on fire. He then tried to blow the fire out, and finally gave up and drove away in a flaming huff. I hope that the gentleman is OK, and that he enjoys the new flame job on his Lambo.
- From the “Breaking and Entering” Department – A young man in Pennsylvania was arrested yesterday after he broke into a house dressed as a Teletubby. For those of you without children, Teletubbies was a television show that induced trances in three-year-olds and seizures in 40 year olds. Personally, I have no idea how I would react to an uninvited yellow Teletubby raiding my fridge, although “Shoot to slide lock” comes to mind.
- From the “Old School” Department – A 62-year-old warrant officer retired recently, ending the era of draftees in the Army. The gentleman was drafted in 1972, and has been on active duty ever since. I’d like to thank him for his over forty years of service.
- From the “Honor” Department – President Obama presented the Medal of Honor to a relative of a Union officer who gave his life during the Battle of Gettysburg. Someone had to whisper to the President that the Civil War was when Republicans freed the ancestors of his wife and daughters from slavery.
- From the “Easy One” Department – The Department of Defense is struggling with what to do about soldiers who use marijuana in states where it has been decriminalized. Apparently nobody checked the SOP for most units in Europe in the 1990’s. You see, when a soldier went on leave to the Netherlands, where most drugs are legal, the first thing that the soldier was handed after reporting back to his or her unit was a urinalysis bottle. If the detector gear burst into flame during analysis of the sample, then the soldier got to enjoy learning the intricacies of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. There’s nothing keeping the military from telling its employees “We don’t care what’s legal off post. You’re still not allowed to partake.”.
- From the “No Kidding” Department – In related news, scientists have discovered that regular, long-term use of marijuana has detrimental effects on the human brain. You know, even the most ardent advocates of legalization are asserting that smoking pot is good for you, especially when it comes to teenagers. I guess we had to have scientific confirmation, but was someone really confused as to the fact that potheads tend to not become rocket scientists?
- From the “Qel Surpris” Department – Conservative news sites are all atwitter about a recent admission by a former Obama administration official that the ACA was passed through deception and obfuscation. Shocked, yes shocked I am to find that there is skullduggery in the halls of Congress. (Your subsidies, monsieur.) You mean that a bill, which was written like stereo instructions, complete with annexes about specific
bribescarveouts, which were exchanged for votes, taxes, which were hidden for Supreme Court justices to find later, and things that couldn’t be discovered until after the bill was passed, was designed to confuse low information voters and the low information legislators they elect? - From the “Bluntskull” Department – A woman in Kentucky has been arrested on drug charges while wearing a tee shirt that reads “I Love Crystal Meth”. I’d call that “probable cause” right there. I think the drug war is a waste of time and a threat to liberty, but if you’re this stupid, a few years outside of the breeding pool might just be what you need.
- From the “Catharsis” Department – A man in Italy recently took a pick-axe to his Fiat after it failed to start. The man apparently took over 100 whacks at the car. As a former driver of a Fiat and owner of multiple examples of what Fiat’s sister corporation, Chrysler, calls an automobile, I sympathize with the gentleman, and wish him a quick recovery from his hospital stay for ‘rest.’
- From the “My People” Department – The president of the Acme Foundry in Minnesota couldn’t have been surprised when he returned to work one morning to find that some wag had affixed images of Wyle E. Coyote and the Roadrunner on the side of his building. The company did not let the levity stop its pre-Christmas work of producing the best anvils in the world, though. In addition, new lines of safes and pianos will be ready for their debut early next year.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on November 11, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/11/11/news-roundup-233/
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DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
MSgt B
/ November 13, 2014I drove an X19 for a few years, until the repair bills finally broke me.
When the motor threw a rod northbound on 95, about 20 miles south of D.C.; I coasted to the shoulder, pulled of the plates, threw them in the woods and stuck my thumb out.
Never saw or heard from that car again.
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