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Saturday Morning Rant

It’s Saturday morning, I’m not feeling too terribly well, and I would really like to turn on the television and watch Bugs Bunny or Scooby Doo. But now, due to a lot of factors, including interference from the Department of Education, broadcast television has completely eliminated the Saturday morning cartoon.  I have to pay for cable TV to watch cartoons with my coffee, and those are either commercials for some verdammte toy line or some dreck that I could have drawn in the sixth grade.

The pleasure of watching a well-drawn and voiced cartoon rabbit dance to classical music and then drop an anvil on someone’s head is gone.  The joy of watching a stoner and his talking dog (Seriously, Shaggy, you need to talk to your dealer about what he’s mixing with your weed) search for ghosts while surviving the munchies is gone.   Heck, the soul-searing annoying song of a race of little blue men and their one, count her, one female is gone.

I blame you, America. It wasn’t good enough to teach physics by having coyotes run off of cliffs and then hang there.  It wasn’t good enough to watch a specialized combat team shoot millions of rounds and not hit one darned COBRA trooper.  It wasn’t enough for a group of animated heroes and villains to go on weekly road rallies around the world, thereby introducing the children of America to other cultures and their stereotypes.

No, it wasn’t good enough.  You had to go and make it ‘educational’.  You had to take time away from either the entertainment or the ad revenue to plug some educational or social cause du jeur, and eventually, you had taken away so much of the joy and the money in Saturday morning cartoons that both the audience and the broadcasters just gave up.

So now, I know what I won’t be doing this morning.  I know that I’ll have to pull down the DVD’s I have of Looney Tunes so that I can sand blast the roof of my mouth with Captain Crunch in front of the TV.  I know that I will have to work hard to keep the tradition of sitting in your pajamas and watching desert chase scenes alive.

I know all these things.

And knowing is half the battle.

6 Comments

  1. auntiejl

     /  November 8, 2014

    Go for it!

  2. Given how I feel today, cartoons and cereal sounds like a grand plan! DVDs it is. *nods*

  3. MaddMedic

     /  November 8, 2014

    I was in the woods today. No ranting when I am holding a gun, in blaze orange with my son. But I agree…Cartoons are no more..

  4. I grew up on Animaniacs, Pinky and Brain and Looney Toons reruns, and I was on the front lines for the Pokemon Invasion ’98. It was cheap japanimation from there on out; though I enjoyed the occasional gem of Recess back in the day, I knew this would be the outcome about 2000.

  5. nixfu

     /  November 9, 2014

    Yep, often thought my kids were missing out on not having saturday morning cartoons as an ‘event’.

    And there is no friday night family tv either like Full House, Family Matters, Just the 10 of US etc.

    It seems like everyone just goes their ‘own way’ and is involved in their own private electronic worlds, and no one ever does anything together as a group.

    More and more I think we will see some major societal fallout from the first generations being so self-absorbed with their own special screens and ignoring life and people around them.

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