I heard a new phrase today:  “Trigger Warning”.  Apparently, it’s the new trend in writing and speaking to list out the subjects you’ll be covering so that if anyone has a psychological or emotional issue related to those subjects, they know to steer clear of the conversation.

You know, I kind of get this.  If you were abused as a child, someone saying “Hey, for the next few minutes, I’m going to be talking about child abuse” might save you from discomfort or panic.

Of course, where I’ve also seen it used is when someone realizes they are losing an argument and throws a lack of trigger warning out to change the subject and make the other side look bad. “Hey, you didn’t warn me that you’d be bringing up facts.  That’s a trigger for me!  You bastard!”

So, in order to save time for myself and you all, here are most, if not all, of the subjects that might trigger either a real emotional response on the part of the reader, or just might make someone feel icky:

• Politics, sort of conservative fiscal, centrist social.  Leave me, mine, and the innocent alone, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t care what you do in your private life.
• History and current events, which are tomorrow’s history
• Guns and other things that go boom
• Sharp pointy things
• Personal work ethic.  You know, getting your lazy butt out of bed in the morning and providing for yourself.
• Stupid people doing stupid things, because it’s funny to point and laugh. (Note:  I try to not point and laugh at the deceased.  Not always successful, but I do try to be humane around here.)
• Defenestration in all its beauty and glory
• Bad jokes, horrific puns, and very bad stories
• Military topics
• Family life
• Occasional short, fictional stories, usually done in such a way that the voices in my head go on a coffee break.
• Speaking of which, coffee, may it ever flow hot and thick.
• Booze
• Religion, mostly mine, but occasionally that practiced by others when it affects me.
• Earworms, those songs that make you want to dig out the auditory parts of the brain with a knitting needle.  Usually silly, sometimes not.

Please remember, I try to not insult or traumatize anyone while leaving my thoughts here, but if I do, please let me know and I will refund your ticket price in full.