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Thoughts on the Day

  • I believe I’m going to have to be careful with Boo when it comes to automobiles.
    • When a Shelby Mustang pulled away from us at a light, he insisted that I “go fast” and “catch that guy”.
    • It broke his little heart when I explained that a Ford Fusion, even if I were to floor it, would not be able to keep up with a Mustang.
  • It is never a good thing to hear the tinkle of running water under a sink that you are trying to unclog with a plunger.
  • If Crash the Combat Kitten tries to escape out the back door one more time tonight, I am going to close the door and let him spend a night outside.
    • A similar outcome will occur the next time he gets himself trapped in the kitchen garbage can.
  • Apparently I’m a big meanie because I shut off the television this afternoon, handed my son a box with about $50 worth of Lego’s and told him to entertain himself.
    • I know, I know, I’m horrible.
  • The next dog that chases Koshka across my lap with her claws extended is going to spend a night in the box.
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  1. Lazy Bike Commuter

     /  November 19, 2013

    I suppose it depends on how willing you are to do an engine swap in the Flex…

  2. It is never a good thing to hear the tinkle of running water under a sink that you are trying to unclog with a plunger.

    So this guy I used to work with, we’ll call him Sexy-Rexy, lives in a three story house with finished basement. He’s reproduced three times, the youngest being newly housebroke. Since there’s a bathroom on all four levels of the house, taking a whiz requires thought and decision – after all, the closest WC isn’t necessarily the best. The youngest goes all the way to the top floor, proudly hits his target without any collateral damage and remembers to flush. There being no one around to brag to, he tears off downstairs where he slams into Mom, explains what he’s been up to and they do a little victory dance. Then he wanders off to watch Captain Cut-Up on TV and Mom returns to whatever she was doing.

    Sexy-Rexy is in the basement working on his hobby, stained glass creations. With the quick mental reactions of a stegosaurus being kicked in the tail by an ostrich, it dawns on Sexy-Rexy that he hears water running. Kind of like a waterfall, only different. It seems to be coming from the air duct, and that ain’t right. Taking the scenic route, Sexy-Rexy searches the house and finds that the WC on the top floor has a problem. The valve for the tank sticks open, and unless you take the top off and close it, the valve will stay open and the WC will overflow. The water will run downhill, which means it gets into the air duct, and, well…

    Sexy-Rexy goes bat shit, and by the time Missus Sexy-Rexy gets the water cleaned up off the bathroom floor he’s returned to coherency. Seeing the head of household has lost a goodly portion of his marbles, the youngest has taken refuge in the attic and is sitting on the trap door so no one can come up and root him out.

    “It’s only a little water, Sexy-Rexy. What’s the big problem?”
    “You don’t understand about water. It, like your youngest, gets into things.”

    Sexy-Rexy was right about that. Fifteen grand worth of damages, and the youngest started using the bushes in the back yard, a habit that was easier developed than broken.

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