- From the “Irony” Department – The chief of staff of an Air Force effort to reduce cases of sexual assault in the service has been arrested for sexual battery. It would appear that in between hours spent trying to figure out how to get male personnel to stop harassing and assaulting female personnel, this guy likes to get liquored up and assault strange women in parking lots. I’m sure he can look forward to an abbreviated career handing out towels in the gym in Greenland, assuming that he can learn to keep his hands to himself. I’m confused by the issues with sexual assault in the military, to be honest. How hard is it to teach young men to keep their hands and other appendages to themselves? Where are the senior NCO’s? I’m pretty sure the first time some dumbass who decided that a female soldier needed his attention, whether or not she wanted it, was publicly shamed and berated by a Command Sergeant Major, with or without the use of dimensional lumber, the problem in that unit would dry up pretty quickly. Step one should be telling young soldiers to keep their hands to themselves, step two should be a battalion formation to watch a rapist get 40 lashes. General Washington would approve. It’s only cruel and unusual if you don’t do it often enough.
- From the “Socialism at Work” Department – Residents of a San Fransisco neighborhood held a Cinco de Mayo party where they smashed pinatas in the shape of Google commuter busses. Apparently, they feel that the entry of talented, employed, and motivated people in to their decaying neighborhood is a bad thing. Hey, if you want lower-income people to not only be able to, but also want to, live in your area, stop turning it into a high-cost, high-crime, low-opportunity craphole. I’ve seen pictures of middle-class neighborhoods in San Fransisco in the 1950’s and earlier, and they were quite nice. Unfortunately, the adults stopped running that city in the late 1960’s, and now decent people can’t afford to live there unless they make a huge amount of money and are willing to work outside the city. Either quit making things worse, or get out of the way of people who will make it better.
- From the “Unintended Consequences” Department – Democratic leadership appears to be asking Illegal Mayors Against Guns to stop trying to unseat Democrat Senators who voted against gun control legislation last month. It appears that Mikey the First is going after Senators who actually listen to their constituents instead of kowtowing to the President and his ilk. How horrible that Senators should legislate in a manner which reflects the views and wishes of the voters. What comes next, women getting the vote? These dimwits would have gone after people who voted against internment of Japanese civilians in 1942. Here’s hoping that their efforts are unsuccessful.
- From the “Unpossible” Department – A 16 year old in Chicago was shot and killed by police recently when he rode his bicycle along a city street and randomly fired a pistol at pedestrians. After he shot at police who were chasing him, they shot him in what I will have to call a righteous case of self-defense. How a 16 year old was able to get a pistol in a city and state with some of the most draconian gun control laws in the nation is anyone’s guess. Maybe one of us evil gun nuts slipped into Chicago under cover of darkness, intimidated the young choir boy with our evil mind control powers, and threatened to hurt his saintly mother if he didn’t randomly shoot up a crowd of people. Or maybe Tywon bought the gun from Mookie on the street corner and decided to show how much a man he was by shooting at a bunch of defenseless strangers for the fun of it. Mookie, of course, could have gotten the gun from a number of sources, including theft or commerce with other criminals. All that can really be known about this, at the moment, is that a whole bunch of laws meant to keep guns out of the hands of 16 year old criminals did precisely diddly over squat to keep the pistol out of the hands of this particular 16 year old criminal. Remember kids, gun control is what you do instead of something useful.
- From the “First World Problems” Department – A petty fight between vegans and agricultural students at a high school in California is drawing national attention. Apparently, the plant eaters take issue with the ag students raising and caring for farm animals who are eventually slaughtered for meat. Some are apparently handing out flyers around campus that show the rather gruesome aspects of slaughtering and butchering food animals. Of course, as usually happens in these cases, name calling has begun in earnest, with some calling those of us who recognize that we are, in fact, omnivores “carcass crunchers”. Personally, I prefer to be called “Green Eyed Devil”. I bear no ill will toward the leafchewers. Heck, some of my favorite foods eat nothing but plants. I will, however, point out that growing and processing plant-based food can be just as difficult and icky as slaughtering Stumpy the goat. Haven’t these people ever listened to the screams of wheat stalks as they are harvested and put through a thresher? I always feel horrible as I pluck the cherries off of our trees, knowing how hard the mother cherry tree worked to create and nurture her children. And you only know true sadness when you realize how many stoners had to give up their “wake and bake” so that some farmer could plant industrial hemp instead of Northern California wacky weed so that we could have matching artisanal tee shirts and sandals.
- From the “Slow News Day” Department – An artist recently lifted the spirits of the people of Hong Kong by floating an oversized bath toy into the harbor. Apparently Vincent van Daffy believes that the sight of a large yellow rubber duck in the waters off large cities will make people feel whimsical and childlike. He plans to bring his travelling tubby-time exposition to the United States, but does not know exactly where. I will alert Weer’d so that he can start lobbying now.
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on May 7, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/05/07/news-roundup-188/
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DaddyBear
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driversuz
/ May 7, 2013I’m sure Weer’d is already on it like white on rice.
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daddybear71
/ May 7, 2013Probably. He’s always a step ahead of me.
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