- From the “Slippery Slope” Department – A man in Indiana is in jail because his on-line postings were used as an excuse to charge him under a law meant to keep people from intimidating jurists. Apparently in Indiana, it’s illegal to post irate rants about people who you feel have wronged you. Now, I’m not saying that what the guy did was appropriate, or that what he said was all accurate, or that he didn’t upset the judge in his divorce case. But being an ass shouldn’t be against the law, and unless he made threats against the judge, then I don’t see a problem with what he did. The express purpose of the freedom of speech is to call out, lampoon, and question the authorities.
- From the “Interesting” Department – Ford may be returning a small-ish truck to the market in the form of the F-100. The F-100 went off the market in the 1980’s when Ford brought out their Ranger light truck, and now that the Ranger has gone away, maybe it’s time to bring out something that’s a little bigger, but not as big as the F-150. Plus, rumors are that it will be a diesel, which I would like. Honestly, if I can’t get a Toyota Hilux, then this might fit my wish to own a truck that’s not big enough to require a marshaller, gets relatively decent gas mileage, and isn’t filled to the brim with doo-dads and luxuries.
- From the “Damn Allergies” Department – A Korean War veteran, who is suffering with terminal heart failure, was given an opportunity to walk the decks of the ship he served on one final time. The gentleman was able to show his family the areas he lived and worked in during his service to the nation. You know, I can’t think of a better thing for an old warrior to do. When my time comes, maybe I’ll get my family to take me on a hike up the canyons at Fort Huachuca, or to walk around the antenna at Gablingen.
- From the “Changes” Department – Hugo Chavez, brutal dictator of Venezuela, has died from a respiratory infection. I won’t celebrate his death, because he was a human being, but I will express hope that this allows his country to heal and pull itself out of the hole he dug. Of course, even before he breathed his last, conspiracy theories were running rampant in his government. Apparently, the CIA has a weapon that gives its victim cancer, and lets them die a long, slow death that gives plenty of time to find the cause. I find this hard to believe. If it had such a weapon, I’m sure the Obama administration would be running riot with it.
- From the “Finally” Department – U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has replied to Senator Rand Paul’s request for a definition of whether or not the Obama administration believes that it would be constitutional for the government to execute American citizens on our soil using unmanned aircraft. Recall that drone strikes have been used in the past year or so to kill American citizens overseas who were believed to be supporting terrorist organizations. AG Holder stated that it would have to be some kind of a national emergency for the military to use drones to kill Americans, but that it could happen. I may be splitting hairs here, but he specifically says that it would have to be a national emergency for the administration to utilize the military to do this, but doesn’t say whether it would have to be a national emergency for federal law enforcement to do it. Of course, it’s my belief that the government shouldn’t be using drones to kill Americans in the United States at all, much less without at least a trial-like hearing where the interests of the suggested target are represented by counsel. I’m also going to split hairs with Reason in saying that the government doesn’t have “rights”, as in the “right to kill citizens”, it only has powers. Only the people of the United States have rights.
- From the “Training Aids” Department – The American Cancer Society has unveiled their latest gimmick to educate people about cancer, specifically colorectal cancer. They have acquired a 20 foot long inflatable model of the human colon that is tall enough for an adult to walk through. Representations of the different maladies that can impact that area of the body are part of the walls, and the society hopes that the novelty of the exhibit will induce people to learn about cancer. The state fair had one of these last year, and yes, I walked through it. My only comment was that it was hard to read the exhibits with all the giggling from the young girls who were going through it.
- From the “Not Surprising” Department – A U.S. diplomat is criticizing his colleagues at the U.N. for tipping back a few too many when they should have been trying to find a way to cut the international bodies budget. Apparently getting members of his organization to show up at all for meetings, or to show up sober when they actually got to work, was a challenge. I, for one, am not shocked by this revelation. The U.N. has always spent money like a drunken sailor. Of course, once a drunken sailor runs out of money, he doesn’t go whining to people who still have money to demand they pay up or he’ll hold his breath until he turns blue.
- From the “TaDa!” Department – A boy in Colorado used up one of his nine lives the other day when he fell through a window on his 3rd story apartment, landed on his feet, and had only minor injuries. As a follow-up, the young man will be tightroping across Sesame Street later this month, and hopes to market a new show called “Toddler Terror” to the Learning Channel.
All posts for the month March, 2013
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on March 5, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/05/news-roundup-176/
Thoughts on the Day
- Maybe I was raised differently than most, but it infuriates me to listen to someone berate the staff at a doctor’s office for things that they don’t control, but which displease the berator.
- Here’s a hint – People in the office should not be able to hear your voice outside of your exam room with the door closed. They especially shouldn’t be able to understand every word that comes out of your mouth.
- Poke and prod tally for the day – One hole in each arm to draw two tubes of blood. One hole in the right arm to get a shot of steroids. Three chest X-ray’s (different aspects).
- I feel well tenderized and ionized.
- The doctor gave me some medical advice that had me running off to the Internet to research it. If you’re looking to live a calm, unfrightened life, don’t go looking up side effects for your medications.
- I’m either dyeing or just a ninny. I’ll let you guess which.
- Girlie Bear seems to be doing well at JROTC. She was invited to join in the weekly staff meeting (S-1, S-3, S-4) that the Colonel holds with the student leaders.
- She also had her introduction to college level homework tonight. Writing up a study outline of about 40 pages of the textbook by the end of the week, which will be graded and then used as her basis for the next test is giving her something to chew on.
- Irish Woman must really love me. After dealing with my too-grumpy-for-words self all weekend, she made h0memade lasagna for dinner.
- It looks like some people are coming into town for the Knob Creek machine gun shoot in April. Anyone want to have a blog meet that weekend?
- I suggest meeting for breakfast. You don’t want to miss the afternoon shooting and gun show, and the night shoot is supposed to be very cool.
- We got an evaluation from Boo’s preschool today. He apparently has trouble with sharing, playing with others, and coloring in the lines.
- Guess I’m going to have to claim this one. That could have been written about me.
- Heck, I’ve had personnel reviews that used similar phrases.
- No matter how hard he tries, Moonshine just can’t make friends with Annya and Koshka.
- He doesn’t seem discouraged, and looks at the swatting upside the head as just playful pats.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 4, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/04/thoughts-on-the-day-103/
Joke of the Day
A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.
Understanding how important the relationship with them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem. The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, andthird-parties selected. Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution – on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone in the project was pleased.
They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it should. The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line. As a result of thenew package monitoring process, no empty boxes were being shipped out of the factory.
With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent. He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero! The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day. He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.
Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, viewed the part of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution sat a $20 desk fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin. He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
“Oh, that,” the supervisor replied, “Bert, the kid from maintenance, put it there because he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang.”
Moral of the Story – Simple is best, and if it’s stupid and it works, then it ain’t stupid. H/T to Old NFO.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 4, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/04/joke-of-the-day-2/
Thoughts on the Day
- Girl Scout Cookies – They’re not just for breakfast anymore.
- I was wondering where all the dirt that came up in the mop bucket came from, and then the dogs came in from the yard.
- Ever see those pictures from no-man’s land in World War I? Yeah, my backyard looks something like that.
- Irish Woman threatened to paint the walls Navy Blue if I didn’t give her input on what colors I want.
- I countered with Khaki Green.
- I’m sure we’ll compromise.
- Of course, this could be the Great Paint Sequester of 2013.
- Navy Blue below the chair rail, Khaki Green above.
- It’ll make her twitch spasmodically, and my lack of appreciation for proper color placement will protect me.
- It’s a no-lose situation.
- There may be a good reason I’m not an electrician.
- I know to throw my own breakers and then check the wires to make sure I hit the right circuit. Most everything after that I have to consult books and the Internet.
- Of course, if the wiring in this house wasn’t older than my mother, this might be a little easier.
- The bathroom remodel is in its end stages. I had a rather firm discussion with my loving wife about scope creep in any other projects and how it would impact our friendship.
- I’m not grumpy. I’ve just been in a bad mood since the Clinton administration.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 3, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/03/thoughts-on-the-day-102/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on March 3, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/03/todays-earworm-330/
A Bedtime Story for The Young Prince
DaddyBear the Minivandian kissed his son, the Young Prince, good night. It had been a long day of caring for his steeds and making repairs to his castle. The recent attacks by trolls had caused many of the plates that lined the outer walls to slip, and he had gone out in the wind and the damp to make what repairs he could.
“Good night, my son.” he rumbled as he pulled the covers up for the boy.
“Father, would you read to me tonight? I wish to hear tales of high adventure.” asked the Young Prince.
“But of course, my cub. What would you like to hear?”
“I want to hear the tale of Herbert the Horrendous and the Big Red Dragon!” said the Young Prince.
The Minivandian went to the cupboard of scrolls and selected the correct one. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he unrolled it and began to read.
Herbert the Horrendous and the Big Red Dragon
Twas brillig, as Herbert the Horrendous left his castle in search of treasure.
He searched high and low.
He searched the cathedral, but all of its treasure was already gone.
He searched the village, but all of the villagers ran away.
He searched the fields, but all of the farmers just watched as he tried to talk to the cow.
Suddenly, Herbert the Horrendous had a brilliant idea!
He would search the mountains, looking for the lair of a dragon.
“Dragons always have treasure!” he thought to himself.
He searched the tall mountains, and the deep valleys.
He searched the dank caves and the dry slopes.
But no dragons were to be found.
Herbert the Horrendous was tired and sad that he could not find treasure!
He began the long walk back to his castle.
Suddenly, he heard the flapping of big, leathery wings!
A dragon, a big red dragon, was swooping down to its lair at the base of the biggest mountain in the land!
Herbert the Horrendous hurried to the mountain.
As he got closer, he could smell the dragon’s stink,
He could feel the dragon’s hot breath,
And he could hear the dragon’s snoring.
Herbert the Horrendous crept up as quietly as a mouse to see the dragon and his treasure.
That old dragon was asleep on his bed of gold and jewels.
Puffs of steam and smoke came out of his nose as he snored away.
Herbert the Horrendous raised up his mighty sword and shouted
“Awake, foul beast! I, Herbert the Horrendous, am here to take your treasure as my own!”
The dragon awoke with a start, and flew up in the air.
It used its smell to try to stun Herbert the Horrendous.
It used its hot breath to try to cook Herbert the Horrendous.
It even used its mighty roar to try to scare Herbert the Horrendous.
But none of these things worked.
Herbert the Horrendous jumped up onto a tall rock.
As the dragon flew past him, he jumped out upon its back, grabbed the dragon’s wings, and pulled with all his might!
The big red dragon fell from the sky, landing back on its pile of treasure.
“You win!” roared the big red dragon, “Take the treasure, but leave me with enough to make another nest!”
Herbert the Horrendous let go of the dragon’s wings.
He let the dragon go, and let it take along 20 gold pieces, 20 silver pieces, and 20 pretty jewels to start its new nest.
Herbert the Horrendous put the rest of the treasure in his bag of holding, and journeyed back to his castle.
He was celebrated as a great warrior for defeating the big red dragon and for bringing home so much treasure.
He spent the rest of his days telling tales of adventure and glory, and he never had to go out looking for treasure again.
My lord DaddyBear looked up from the scroll at his son, who had fallen asleep with a smile on his impish countenance. Leaning forward, the Minivandian kissed the young barbarian good night, rolled up the scroll, replaced it in the cupboard, and left the chamber. Many good dreams of battle and fire breathing dragons did the Young Prince have that night.
Many years later, when the Young Prince was a warrior of great fame and power, the Minivandian would look back fondly on the evenings when he was still small enough to listen to bedtime stories. Many books of adventure, many sagas of poetry and heroics, many magical tales of the little people and their games did the Young Prince listen to as he drifted off. And then, when he himself was a father, did he read these very same scrolls to his children, sometimes with the help of the Minivandian, his hair grown white and his eyes grown tired. So did the cycle of noble parenting continue, and so did the next generation of warriors learn their place as defenders and adventurers.
Now, let me tell you tales of high adventure…..
Posted by daddybear71 on March 3, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/03/a-bedtime-story-for-the-young-prince/
Thoughts on the Day
- Today I was informed that I need to spend the present-day cost of an AR-15 to replace the ball joints and control arms on my truck. I’m investigating how much of that is parts and how much is labor and how hard it is to do it myself.
- It doesn’t look that bad. I will need a couple of tools and a floor jack, and it looks like a good opportunity to replace the shocks at the same time.
- I know, famous last words.
- It is amazing how big a difference in handling there was after putting new tires on the truck.
- I went into the hardware store to pick up some basic things, but came out after buying $300 worth of stuff.
- I need to go to the hardware store alone.
- Going to the big warehouse store on a Saturday afternoon does a lot to destroy my faith in humanity.
- Quote from one of the people who entered the store at the same time as we did: “OK, kids! Let’s go start hitting all of the free samples for lunch!”
- If I can smell your perfume from an aisle over, maybe you used a tad too much.
- I don’t care how old you are, it never hurts to have good manners.
- Knocking fenders with Irish Woman’s cart because you want to get past her without saying “Excuse me, please.” is the opposite of good manners.
- Yes, I stared a hole in your forehead over it. No, I’m not afraid of your death stare.
- Your powers are weak, old man. When last we met, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
- I won the “Who can guess closest to our total at the checkout lane?” game today by being within $2. Oddly, I felt a great sense of accomplishment in doing that and getting out of the store without having to liquidate assets.
- The womanization of Girlie Bear continues. I was stared down by Irish Woman after telling Girlie Bear that she was dressed too nicely to go to the movies with her girlfriends.
- Apparently I’m supposed to just sit back and watch. I’m going to counter that argument by looking into cloistered convent schools for the lass.
- Apparently we’re going to be planting more grape vines and putting in cranberry bushes this year in addition to the new raised beds and hanging planters I’ll be building.
- A few more plantings and I might have to get crop insurance.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 2, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/02/thoughts-on-the-day-101/
Thoughts on the Day
- Don’t look shocked that I don’t complain about my work schedule.
- Paycheck cashes just fine, so I’m ready to work when the time comes.
- I paid enough money today to buy an AR-15 at before-election prices to put new tires on my truck. Tomorrow I will spend enough to buy a pre-election case of 5.56mm to get the brakes redone.
- Oh well, can’t take it with you, and I need the truck to last at least another two years.
- Boo has been cooped up in the house all day due to school being out and the weather being cold and wet.
- I’ll have to find somewhere indoors tomorrow where he can bounce around at full speed for a while.
- Moonshine needs to work some energy out too. Maybe there’s an indoor dog park in Louisville?
- For once, the weather during the drive home sucked and the road was packed with skillful and polite drivers.
- My wife believes I know how to safely and properly rewire the bathroom. This is not going to end well.
- I’m going to enjoy the first weekend in a month and a half that I don’t have to go into work.
- The after dinner movie tonight was “Chicken Little“. It just seemed appropriate.
- I have been informed that my daughter will love me forever if I keep the truck running long enough for her to take possession of it in a few years.
- It would be nice if she learned to drive a stick.
- It would also be good to give her an older vehicle she’ll have to work on every weekend.
- I also know for sure she won’t be racing anyone in that thing.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 1, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/01/thoughts-on-the-day-100/
A word from our President
I got this missive in my email. That’s what I get for signing up for the petitions part of the White House website.
My comments are not* in italics.
Starting today, our government will need to grapple with a set of arbitrary budget cuts that will hurt the economy, make life harder for middle-class families, and threaten our national security. That’s what Washington means when it talks about the sequester. Because cutting a few billion dollars in spending across a country with 300 million people, a slim majority of whom are gainfully employed, is going to cause the sky to rend, the rivers to turn red, and the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series.
Not everyone will feel the consequences of these cuts immediately, but if sequestration is allowed to continue, it will make life more difficult for Americans all across the country. That’s a fact that no one disputes. See my earlier content. Somehow, we did OK from 1791 to 1930 or so without an overly intrusive federal government, but we’re not going to be able to stand this for long.
And the reason we are here is because some members of Congress have made a choice to prioritize these cuts over closing tax loopholes for the wealthy. But there is still time for them to make a different choice and undo this manufactured crisis. We’re here because President Obama kicked the can down the road in 2011 rather than act like a statesman and accept that cutting a little bit out of the government and possibly closing a few small loopholes would do the same, but without the expense of a multi-state campaign swing scaring old people and those with nothing better to do than to listen to the President bloviate. But there is still time for him to get his act together, break it to his base that maybe they ought to feed themselves a tad more, and undo this manufactured crisis.
Today, President Obama discussed this situation and answered questions from the press. “This is not a win for anybody,” he said. “This is a loss for the American people.” Funny, the roads did not roll up before my truck on the way home. The airplanes at the airport not only were able to take off, but also land. I look now out at Louisville, and the sky does not glow orange against the clouds, so I’m going to assume that the worst things that could happen haven’t, or at least haven’t yet. That may change when the welfare recipients, both those who life in poverty and those who live in penthouses, stop getting those strawberry scented checks on the first and the fifteenth of the month.
Help us make sure your friends and neighbors know what’s at stake. Share this video of President Obama on Facebook or Twitter — or even just forward this email to your friends. I won’t insult you by linking to this dreck. Suffice it to say that as he looks down from his alabaster palace on the hill, it pains him that the common folk won’t be able to afford their sparkling spring water and oh-so-fresh organic arugala.
PS — We put a page together that outlines President Obama’s solution for resolving the sequester, explains what these cuts will mean for communities across the country, and asks you to share your story. heck it out: WH.gov/Sequester. This ought to be good. Let me just click on that link. Of course, I’ll have to disinfect my mouse after that, but you do what you have to do.
Here is what the President thinks will bring us out of the wilderness of a cut in the growth of government spending:
Ok, let’s see here:
- Deficit reduction to date – A fantasy number based on projections that include miracles, alien invasion, and the Illuminati saving us all.
- Cuts in discretionary spending – I can buy that, so long as it’s actually discretionary and involves things that impact the President and his ilk as much as it impacts people like me. Let’s start with setting the Presidential travel budget to zero, including his family and lackeys.
- Reduce payments to drug companies – Because contracts mean nothing when you print the money. Of course, it’s not the government’s job to buy pharmaceuticals, so maybe I can get aboard with this. If it keeps Dianne Feinstein and Nancy Pelosi from getting their botox and John Boehner from getting his Viagra, then I’ll call this one a win.
- Reduce hospital payments – Again, contracts mean nothing, but then again, I’ve never asked the government to pay my medical bills when I didn’t feel like paying.
- Efficient healthcare – Want to make healthcare more efficient? Quit letting it mainline those sweet, sweet government dollars. It’s amazing how quickly the non-profitable parts of a business fall away when the actual customers have to start paying for it.
- Ask the more fortunate to pay more – You mean like the 100% increase in my premiums/deductible/co-pays in the last 10 years? And I must add that I’m “fortunate” because I get my butt out of bed every morning and go to this funny thing called a ‘job’.Oh, you mean that I should pay more for my healthcare to make up for the deadbeats who can’t be bothered to pay attention in school, work hard, not squeeze out a litter of kids every year or so, and live within their means? Never mind.
- Eliminate certain subsidies for agriculture – Let me guess, if a state that didn’t vote for Obama gets agricultural subsidies, then those subsidies will be axed. How about we get rid of the subsidies to millionaires and billionaires (in cash, not equipment) that get farm subsidies? Of course, then the President might not get as big a check for his library from Hollywood, and how can he live without being feted by the creme de la creme of movies, sports, and pop music?
- Reform Federal retirement programs – Military retirees, bend over, here it comes again. That’s what you get for not being in a contractually protected federal union retirement, now isn’t it?
- Reform postal service and TSA security fees – Translation: Get ready to pay more for services you either don’t use or don’t want.
- Close tax loopholes – Not a bad idea. How about we start all the tax breaks that have been extended to monetary supporters of the President’s campaigns?
- Cut tax writeoffs for the wealthy – Remember that tax hike for the ‘wealthy’ that happened during the fiscal cliff negotiations? Yeah, this is phase two. Phase three will commence as soon as the ink is dry on whatever comes of all this. Seriously, if you make $250,000 or more and support Obama, why do you hate your children so much?
You all know my opinions on how we can effectively cut the government and stop selling our progeny into slavery to pay for Presidential golf junkets and free cell phones to welfare queens:
Instead, what we’re going to get is a few days or maybe a couple of weeks of more grandstanding, finger-pointing, and then a “compromise” that results in higher taxes and no brakes on spending, not actual cuts in the size and scope of the federal budget, will be trotted out by the usual gang of idiots. Someone, probably those who want to make ‘radical’ cuts to government in order to make sure the United States in 2030 is not a wholly owned subsidiary of the East Asian Economic Cooperative, will be blamed for the turbulence of people having to take care of themselves and the government to have to reign in itself for a little while.
Now, please excuse me while I have a nice shot of something strong and amber. It won’t help, but at least I’ll feel a little better. Of course, I’ll feel it in the morning, but that might be nice and symbolic.
*Due to some weirdness, my comments were in italics in the editor, but that’s reversed in the published post. I’m sure you can tell where the administration’s words end and mine begin.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 1, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/01/a-word-from-our-president/
Today’s Earworm
Language warning on this one.
This goes out to the Obama administration, in honor of the sequestration.
Posted by daddybear71 on March 1, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/01/todays-earworm-329/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 