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News Roundup

  • From the “Bad Idea” Department – The British government is warning Ecuador that if it does not give up Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks who is seeking asylum in the Ecuadorean embassy in London, then it will force its way into the embassy and take him.  Now, I love our British cousins as much as the next guy, but this is not a good idea.  The Ecuadorean embassy is not an office in Whitehall, rather it is Ecuador.  As much as our embassy in Tehran was American soil, the embassies of all countries are sovereign and untouchable.  Yes, Assange is a slimy character and quite possibly a rapist, but he’s not worth violating the sanctity of an embassy.  The Brits ought to sit back and let negotiations continue.  Something tells me the Ecuadorians will eventually find a way to give him up so long as the British government doesn’t do anything stupid.
  • From the “Dumbass” Department – A man in Nevada shot himself in the butt the other night as he sat in a movie theater.  Apparently his handgun fell out of his pocket and discharged.  The man left the theater under his own power, and miraculously didn’t cause a panic.  He was later caught with a bullet wound to his gluteus maximus, which must have been very debilitating to him, seeing as how he seems to be thinking with it.  Folks, get a holster.  If you have a holster and it doesn’t either hold the gun securely or stay where you put it, get a better holster.  Heck, if you can’t afford one, ask me.  I’ve got a couple I stopped using once I discovered custom leather, and I’ll be happy to ship one of them to you so you don’t embarrass the rest of us.
  • From the “Dumbass The Sequel” Department – A man in Russia was arrested recently when he tried to steal gunpowder to use as fuel for his stove at home.  One wonders what he was cooking.  Popovers, perhaps?  No word on whether or not his wife knew of the caper, but if she didn’t, I’m assuming he’s safer in jail.  No Russian woman is going to put up with a man who wants to blow up her kitchen.
  • From the “Dumbass Hat Trick” Department – A man in Florida was arrested the other night because he decided that his pistol was a trump card in an argument.  Apparently when “Your mother!” wasn’t strong enough, he showed her his gun and threatened to “Blow her head off”.  The man was arrested for aggravated assault and illegally carrying a concealed weapon, so I’m guessing he’s not exactly the law-abiding or intelligent type.
  • From the “Dumbass Superfecta” Department – The U.S. Army four-star general who formerly headed up Africa Command is probably wishing he’d told his wife and her sisters that they really ought to fly Southwest.  A recent investigation found that he used government flights to fly friends and family around and also that he overspent on hotel accommodations and other travel expenses.  The figure being bandied about is approaching $1 million, which coincidentally is the amount in pay and other benefits he’s expected to lose if he’s demoted and retired.  I guess being court-martialed for fraud, waste, and abuse isn’t in the cards if you’re high enough up in the food chain. Personally, I’d like to see him court martialed and busted to the lowest enlisted rank before being retired, even if he gets 3 star retirement. “No one is more professional than I” kept coming into my head as I read that.
  • From the “Dumbass the Revenge” Department – Vice President Joe Biden decided to add a little racial tint to his rhetoric the other day, telling a mostly black audience that Mitt Romney and his campaign wanted to put them back into chains.  As the descendent of a member of the Union Irish Brigade which fought in Virginia during the Civil War, I should be shocked and offended, but I’m not.  Mr. Biden has fought courageously against his case of terminal stupidity for years, and it’s sad  to see him finally losing the battle.  Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if this wasn’t a convenient ploy to give Obama an excuse to dump Biden as his running mate and pick someone more likeable and with a better personality, like Al Gore.
  • From the “Cheap Flophouse With Cool Furniture” Department – IKEA, the company that brought self-assembled furniture to the first apartments and dorm rooms of millions of people, is considering opening up a budget hotel chain in Europe.  I envision thousands of business travellers being handed an allen wrench and directions to their room written in Swedish and broken English.


  1. “The British government is warning Ecuador that if it does not give up Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks who is seeking asylum in the Ecuadorean embassy in London, then it will force its way into the embassy and take him.”

    Traditionally, that kind of thing would be considered justification for Ecuadorian soldiers to start shooting British soldiers on sight, and to try invading England. I think it’s generally called “an act of war.”


  2. Re: The 4 Star- Now I know why they changed the Soldier’s Creed


  3. My dad’s only use for IKEA is their cookies.

    I have some stuff from there, but it’s mostly kid-related: plastic cups and plates and stuff, bought several years ago when the little urchins were not to be trusted with anything that couldn’t survive a 3-foot-fall and a couple of bounces. And my mom got it for me. So I never had to set foot in there.


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