News Roundup
- From the “That’ll Teach Him!” Department – A judge in San Fransisco has released a man, who is charged with trying to sell an undercover agent a grenade launcher and then trying to rob the agent, released on $150,000 bond. The man must wear a tracking device, read for one hour a day, and spend half an hour each day writing book reports. If he really wants to make the guy reconsider his life choices, I suggest having him read Ayn Rand and report back on what he’s learned. He’ll get a lesson in libertarianism, and he won’t be going anywhere in the near future while he tries to get through the middle of Atlas Shrugged.
- From the “Suicide Watch” Department – A Ming vase recently sold for almost $900,000 at an auction in England. While that’s quite a sum of money, it could have gone for $6.4 million if the owner hadn’t drilled holes in the vase so that he could make a table lamp out of it. No report on the condition of the former owner, but I think we can assume his wife has given him the requisite amount of trouble over first getting rid of her favorite lamp and then for the amount of value the vase lost when he had to go and make a lamp out of it.
- From the “Don’t Mess With Grandma” Department – A 101 year old Swedish woman recently chased off a robber with a stick and her temper. Those of you who have ever had their asses beaten by an angry Scandinavian woman will understand why the thief chose to just leave while he still could.
- From the “This Year For Sure” Department – A reporter for the Wall Street Journal has decided to find a creative way to cause his own death. He apparently decided that being torn limb from limb before having his pieces tacked to the outfield wall at Wrigley Field would be just the way to go. No response from Cubs management or fans has been noted, although WGN is playing a commercial for “Torches and Pitchforks” night for the next home game against the White Sox.
Posted by daddybear71 on May 16, 2012
https://daddybearsden.com/2012/05/16/news-roundup-117/
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