Why do I have to walk through the pouring rain after parking the car, and then hold everyone elses wet umbrellas while they use the ladies room?

— Father of a small family at the middle school chorus recital, spoken in a keening, nasal whine.

Because you’re the dad, that’s why.  Life’s not fair.  If life was fair, it wouldn’t be as much fun.  Man up, STFU, and stop whining about looking after your wife’s things while she powders her nose.  Don’t look at it as holding your wife’s purse.  Look at it as safeguarding her possessions while she attends to important female business.