Here’s the situation – 


Your baby is gasping for air.  You call 911, and they dispatch an ambulance, but there’s a blizzard howling outside.  The roads are clogged with snow, and you fear your child won’t make it until they arrive.


If you’re in New York City this past December, you probably couldn’t do much more than pray to $DEITY and hope the ambulance can weave its way through the snow packed streets.


If you’re in Baraboo, Wisconsin, you pray to $DEITY that the ambulance is led to your house by Manuel Canales, a snowplow driver for the local government.  When this man heard over the radio that a baby was in distress and the ambulance would have a hard time getting there in time, he kicked his truck into gear and plowed them a path.  He then plowed a path for them to get to the hospital.


So what’s the difference?  


One difference I see is that it happened in a mostly rural area.  People in small towns and the country look out for each other.  In the times I’ve lived in large cities, I never felt that anyone I didn’t have a preexisting relationship with would stoop to help me if I needed it.  When I’ve lived in small towns, it’s an expectation that you will help out in any way you can, and that others will step up if you need them.


I won’t comment on the union versus non union status of the drivers in question.  The rumor is that at least part of the problem in New York was a union instigated work slowdown.  But who’s to say that Mr. Canales isn’t part of a local union?


I will say that the difference here was that Mr. Canales put his own comfort and possibly his own safety on standby to help out someone he probably never met before.  I can’t say that I’d expect someone in Washington, Chicago, New York, or Los Angeles would do the same.  I’m making a gross generalization here, but I don’t expect to see a lot of stories like this out of the big cities.

I was the snarling, hunched man who stood behind you coughing and sneezing at the pharmacy pick up window this morning.  You remember, that was when you spent 10 minutes arguing with the pharmacist over the cost of your medicines.   By the look of the gold watch and oh so fashionable running shoes you were wearing, paying $50 for your prescriptions might not be a stretch.

Thank you for pointing out to everyone in earshot that the pharmacy, the drug company, and your allergist were just out to tap your bank account.  Yes, your health is important, and and our time is not.

And I’m surprised that a man of your superior intellect and social station had never heard of this thing called the Internet, where one can look at a pharmaceutical companies website for coupons.  Once this was explained, I was shocked, shocked I say, to discover that you could not see where the name of the drug and its manufacturer was written on the printout, but I’m glad that the pharmacist took the time to write it down, explain the process to you, and then answer your question which amounted to “Huh?”.

I do apologize for snarling at you in Russian as you passed me, but I think it was a healthy venting of anger and frustration.  Also, when you get home, if there’s a burn or raised blister located on the back of your head, that’s my fault.  I was boring a hole in your skull with my haterage vision, and I hope that the tumor that I wished to be implanted on your medula oblongata thrives for years before you find it.

Here’s hoping you feel better, and that you are able to save a few drakmas when you return later today for your prescription.

A group of people at a Michigan Chuck E. Cheese restaurant had a wonderful time attending a child’s first birthday party. When the check came, they taught the little ones in attendance a valuable life lesson:  How to dine and dash.

When their server presented them with the check, they stalled her for a few minutes and headed for the exits.  Police were called and have been able to track down at least one of the adults involved.

Real classy folks.  My guess is that the birthday child wasn’t the only munchkin in attendance.  What a beautiful memory they will have of the time they got to do the 100 meter dash to the minivan after Mummsy and Daddsy decided to not pay for their pizza, cake, and ice cream.

As punishment, I’d make each and every one of these adults work a 12 hour shift bussing tables and mopping floors at that Chuck E Cheese.  Although even my hard heart might consider that cruel and unusual.  12 hours of bad pizza, screaming kids, clanging video games, and that infernal animatronic rodent would be enough to make me stick my head in the garbage disposal.

Today I realized that I am married to an absolute angel.  I got home and she was up in the air harping about something.

I am the IT analog of the 1950’s shop mechanic.  I keep the wheels on, make improvements, and just in general figure things out.  The guys who were under muscle cars back in the 1960’s and 1970’s?  Their kids are sysads.  I’m mildly interested in the design and manufacture of the code and hardware that I work with, but for the most part I care about how much performance I can squeeze out of them and how well I can keep them working.  “I void warranties” is my profession’s mantra.  I write scripts to make my life easier, but make them as simple as I can so I don’t have to continually figure them out and fix them.  Contrast me to the programmer who takes joy from how beautifully her source code reads, as if it was poetry.  She may be Shakespeare or Bacon, but I’m the guy who figures out how to build the stage the actors use to put on her masterpiece.

My brethren database and network administrators work hard in their own realms to make the semi-fantasy world of pure programmers and computer scientists interface efficiently with the real world.  We are the tired voice at the end of the cell phone link at 3 AM when something breaks.  In another life, we would be the guy in the greasy coveralls who climbs all over the engine to figure out why the train doesn’t move. We share a proud lineage that goes all the way back to the armorers in Caesars legions who kept the onagers kicking, the smiths who built and fixed the Antikythera mechanism for some unknown genius, and the mechanics who kept the T-34′s running in the field for Marshall Zhukov.  

H/T to Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal for the inspiration.

The Interior Department is distributing almost $750 million to state fish and wildlife programs this year to pay for state programs.

Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said Wednesday in a release. “These funds will support important fish and wildlife management and conservation, recreational boating access, and hunter and aquatic education programs.”

This money comes from excise taxes paid by sportsmen on licenses, fishing equipment, guns, and ammunition.  Even if you don’t like guns or don’t hunt and fish, some of your enjoyment of the outdoors is paid for by those of us who do.

• The walking trails at the state park you like to use after family picnics without buying tickets?  You’re welcome. 
• The boat ramp at the lake where you put in your cabin cruiser without paying a usage fee?  You’re welcome.
• The restored wetlands that clean the water in the stream your children play in?  You’re welcome.
• Those wild deer, elk, and turkey you take pictures of in an area where they were unheard of 30 years ago?  You’re welcome.

Thing is, this is one tax that I gladly pay.  Yes, it makes my hobbies a lot more expensive than their sticker price, but I can see where the money is going on this one.  I also enjoy boating on the lake and hiking on the trails, and nothing makes the drive to work better than seeing a deer or turkey in the fields along the road.

So please, go out and enjoy the parks, lakes, and wildlife that our excise taxes help pay for.  And please try to remember them the next time you’re ranting about the inhumanity of hunting and fishing, or complaining about Walmart selling ammunition, or that the state fish and wildlife agency put up a small shooting range in the back of beyond in your local state park.  Without the taxes that hunters, fishermen, and shooters pay every day, your enjoyment of the outdoors wouldn’t be as nice as it is now.

H/T to Radley Balko over at The Agitator on this one.

The title of this post is a quote from State Senator Greg Brophy of Colorado, who was commenting on a moronic situation that is directly impacting a young man he represents.

You see, this young man has been afflicted by diaphragmatic and axial myoclonus, which can cause prolonged seizures.  He lost out on a lot of last school year due to his illness and the narcotics he was given to deal with it. 

When the narcotics, and the rest of the pharmacopoeia that was thrown at him didn’t seem to work well enough, his doctor put him on a new cocktail of drugs that included the use of THC lozenges in the event that a seizure was not prevented by his other medications.  THC is the active agent in marijuana. This formula, including lozenges, seem to work for the young man.

The administrators of his school have informed him and his parents that he cannot come to school on days he has used the THC medication, and cannot use it on campus.  His father has appealed to the local officials for their understanding, but has hit a brick wall.  Apparently the local school officials would rather he be doped up on morphine at school or miss school entirely than let him put a THC cough drop in to keep a seizure at bay.

This young man wants to finish his education.  He wants to be a functioning part of society.  He is not blazing up a little Acapulco Gold in the parking lot when he feels a little woozy.  He is trying to go to school and participate by taking medication that is legally prescribed by his doctor and dispensed by his pharmacist.  And the nitwits who run his school are making him miss class in order to control his illness.

Things like this grate on me for a few reasons.  First and foremost is the medical marijuana issue.  I support the legal use of any medication when it is prescribed by a competent physician.  I’m  not going to talk about just legalizing it, that’s for another post, but I am 100% for its use as a medicine.  My arthritis is well controlled, but I know several people who have one form of non-osteo-arthritis or another who couldn’t control their pain without heavy narcotics who have at least some relief because they live in a medical marijuana state and use it under a doctor’s supervision.  They’re not stoners, they just use a drug in order to deal with their disease.  If I couldn’t control my arthritis and the accompanying pain without the use of narcotics, and it was legal for me to do so, I’d fully support a suggestion by my doctor to try cannabis.

And then there’s the parent’s rights issue here.  These parents have worked with a medical professional to find an effective treatment for their son’s malady.  They have changed their son’s school so that he can go home to take his medicine.  As far as I can tell, they have bent over backwards so that their son can put a cough drop in his mouth when he feels a seizure coming on.  But the drones who run the school have done everything they can to thwart their efforts in getting their son a good education.

Things like this, where low level officials can’t or won’t make an independent decision, makes my blood boil.  If put in the same situation, I’d find it hard to remain civil with the principal, the school board, and the rest of the local government.  If I had it within my means, I would be finding a good private school that would be reasonable about accommodating my son’s situation.  If not, I’d be doing what this father continues to do, which is to fight with all legal means necessary to get his son the best education he can.

Parents and doctors should decide which drugs are allowable for a student to take, either at home on a school day, or at school.  Principals, school boards, or legislatures would do best to keep their noses out of it.  I wish this family luck as they seek to do the right thing.

When giving physical security training, the answer to “What is the correct way to stop someone without a security badge in a restricted area?” does not include:

– Two to the chest, one to the head
– Hitting them with a folding chair
– Body slam
– Keelhauling
– Bouncing their forehead on the hood of a truck

Just out of curiosity, I’d like to know a little bit about y’all.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask anything too humiliating.  These are pretty simple questions that don’t probe too deeply.  Have fun with them.  Leave answers in the comments, please.  Even though most of these questions are a “this or that” type, feel free to answer with another choice.  After a week or so, I’ll come back and write a post with the most original or entertaining answers.

General Interest

1. Standard or Metric?
2. Minivan or muscle car?
3. Speed boat or pontoon boat?
4. Star Wars or Star Trek?
5. Snow skiing or water skiing?
6. Cabin in the Mountains or Condo on the Beach?
7. Iced Tea – Sweet or Un-Sweet?
8. Ebook or dead tree?
9. Unicorn or heffalump?

Firearms

1. Glock or 1911?
2. 9mm or .45?
3. AR-15 or AK-47?
4. Revolver or semi?
5. Shotgun – Pump or semi?
6. AR-15 – Iron sights or optics?
7. Black Powder – Flintlock, cap, or in-line?
8. Samuel Colt or John Moses Browning?
9. Full Auto or three round burst?
10. .30-06 (God’s Own Caliber, Old Testament) or .308 (God’s Own Caliber, New Testament)

Food

1. Sausage or bacon?
2. Irish Coffee or Tequila Sunrise?
3. Jack Daniels or Maker’s Mark?
4. Pizza – Thin Crust or Deep Dish?
5. Ketchup or mayonnaise?
6. Barbecue – sweet and tangy or hot and spicy?
7. Chili – Beans or no beans?
8. Christmas – Ham or Turkey?
9. Easter – Lamb or Rabbit?
10. Sushi or Thai food?
11. Steak – Moo or charcoal?

Complete the following sentences:

1. A man and his _______ are soon _______.
2. The easiest way to a man’s heart is through his  _______.
3. My bologna has a first name, it’s _________.
4. I’d like to teach the world to _________.
5. A _______ in the hand is worth two in the ________.
6. I wish I were an ________, that is what I’d really like to be.
7. Better _______ than _______.