Dear Apple Iphone Programmer,

This afternoon, as I was driving home, the following playlist came up while listening to music on ‘shuffle’ on your device:

1. Metallica, Enter Sandman (Sweet!)
2. Guns and Roses, Paradise City (Rock on!)
3. Pearl Jam, Jeremy (All Right!)
4. Slash – Something off the new album that made my windows vibrate
5. Ozzy Osbourne, Crazy Train (AHAHAHAHAHA!)
6. Jimmi Hendrix, All Along the Watchtower (SWEET!)
7. AC/DC, Shoot to Thrill (ALL RIGHT!)
8. Metallica, Wherever I May Roam (GRAAAHHHHH!)

And then just as I was about to start banging my head and smashing my fist against the headliner of the van, the following pieces of ‘music’ came up:

1. The Jonas Brothers – Something whiny
2. Miley Cyrus – Something grating
3. High School Musical – What the !@#$!@#!@#$?

Luckily, I was able to fast forward through all of that dreck.

OK, children, listen up.  If I am listening to a shuffled music library, and I turn up the volume and don’t fast forward through any songs, that means I like what your little piece of electronics is doing.  That does not mean stop playing stuff that rocks to switch to stuff that makes me want to drive into a concrete barrier.  If IOS doesn’t handle that kind of logic, then fix it.  Code, monkey, code!