Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York City and expert on ancient Egyptian septic tank spelunking, has decided to wake the sleeping bear by decreeing that his health department shall henceforth make it harder for new mothers to feed their children.  He apparently has an issue with baby formula, and has directed that hospitals must lock it up with the Oxycontin.  In addition, when a new mother chooses to give formula to her baby, she will have to go through a lecture on breast-feeding each and every time she has the impertinence to make an independent decision about the nutrition of her child.

I look forward to seeing Mayor Bloomberg burned in effigy by the same women who chant “My body, my choice!” in front of the Supreme Court building every time someone mentions abortion or birth control in the political square.  If it’s a woman’s choice on whether to use birth control or carry a baby at all, it should be her choice on what she will feed that child so long as no harm comes to the child because of it.  Yeah, you can overfeed a child on formula, and it’s probably not as good for the baby as breastfeeding, but it’s not beer with a cigarette butt soaking in it either.

Will we see public browbeating by the mayor over what mothers choose to feed babies?  Will he make grand speeches about smuggled formula from other states with lax powdered milk laws?  Will he send agents into Walmarts in Virginia and Tennessee to see if they can successfully convince the clerk to sell them Enfamil?

This is yet another in a long list of things that Bloomberg has stuck his nose into where he had no business.  Smoking, trans-fats, guns, and drink sizes are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head.  He’s doing it for our own good, I’m sure, but someone needs to have the following conversation with him:

Bloomberg – And sunblock!  We have to shame people into taking sunblock showers every morning before they leave the house!  And we have to make employers provide free sunblock to their employees!

Interventionist – Mike, seriously, please put down the megaphone.  We’re all right here, for the love of God.  OK, thank you.  Now, we have to talk.

Bloomberg – About what?  Pet food?  I was thinking we ought to run all of the pet food vendors out of the city and force the people to feed their dogs rice and their cats Rice Krispies.  That way the cholesterol of the cities pets will plummet, and we won’t have so many dead animals raining down from the skyscrapers.

Interventionist – Sigh.  Listen, Mike, you have to stop.  You have a problem.  You’re addicted to controlling the details of other people’s lives.  It’s a common problem, but you’re an extreme example of a busybody.  What’s next, telling people what they have to wear?

Bloomberg – That’s right!  All men must wear knee-high lace-up patent leather boots so they have all the ankle support they could ever need!  Women will either have to wear sandals or 8 inch heels, depending on what the health department works best for them!  And everyone has to wear purple shirts on even days and red shirts on odd days!

Interventionist – My Lord, it’s worse than I thought.  Mike, these men are here to help you.  They’re going to take you to a nice quiet place where you can get your head together, and hopefully in a little while you’ll be able to come back and be whole.

Bloomberg – What?  But what about my plans to make all people in the city over six feet in height walk around on their knees to even out the height gap?  Or making kids drink from the Hudson to improve their immune systems after they’ve had immunizations for bubonic plague and South American laughing sickness?

Interventionist, walking away as the mayor is gently guided to the back of his limousine for a drive to a ‘country retreat’ – I hope this works.  If it doesn’t, he’s likely to come back and change the law so that he can get re-elected again, and I fear the city couldn’t survive that.

Schadenfreude – (n) The pleasure felt at the misfortunes of others.

The Palestinians, also known as the people who have failed to effectively fight for either the land they occupy and the land they want for at least three generations, are expressing outrage over Mitt Romney’s statements during his recent trip to Israel.  Mr. Romney stated his opinion that Jerusalem is Israel’s capitol and that there is a cultural reason why the gap between Israel’s GDP and that of the Palestinians.  First and foremost, Israel has controlled all of Jerusalem since before I was born.   If they were going to give it back, it would have already happened, and if the Palestinians have the ability to make them do it, they haven’t demonstrated it yet.  Yes, they can protest and bomb pizza parlors, maybe even lob a volley of rockets into neighborhoods stocked full of children and old people, but they aren’t going to be able to militarily push Israel across the street, much less out of Jerusalem.  Second, I am tired of hearing the whining about how the Israelis restrict the Palestinians and so that oppressed people must live in squalor.  The Israelis put restrictions on some aspects of the Palestinians because the Palestinians have this remarkable habit of exploiting every way the Israelis leave them alone to sneak murderers into Israel to kill grandmothers.  Want us to take you seriously and improve your lot in life?  Quit acting like a bunch of whining twits and make life better for your children.  Want me to give two hoots about the “plight” of the “Palestinian people”?  Bring back the Americans they’ve killed and harmed in the last 40 years through their legacy of terrorism.  Until then, cry me a river.

Next, we have United Nations General Secretary Ban ki Moon, who has a sad because the United Nations was unable to come to agreement on an international gun control treaty that would have been an excuse for tinpot dictators to continue to oppress an unarmed populace and for President Obama to act more like a tinpot dictator.  How sad that such enlightened countries as China, Iran, and Russia won’t be able to dictate the manner in which free people defend themselves or provide aid to their allies.  Just to show my solidarity with those who mourn this loss, I pledge to take only guns that were produced overseas to my next range trip and to shoot only fine imported ammunition.

You know, today started off pretty bad for me, but reading these put a smile on my face and a spring in my step.