- To the person who found their way here looking for “Korean Daddy Bears”, I’m sorry. I’m a Norwegian-Irish-German-Whatever DaddyBear, and I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.
- As for the person looking for “bear gathering daddies gallery”, well, yeah, I have no idea what you were looking for, but I hope this place was helpful.
- I’m not saying that my youngest son hates having his hair cut, but by the time I was done, he was exhausted, I was exhausted, his mother and I were not speaking, and he had so much hair sticking to him that it looked like I’d shaved an orangutan when we gave him a bath.
- My middle son had pink hair when I arrived to drop off his sister for a visit this afternoon.
- He’s normally a medium blond, so I’m guessing that he tried to dye his hair red and it didn’t turn out.
- I’m hoping that it’s because the Louisville Cardinals are in the NCAA championship.
- I tried to watch a documentary about North Korea tonight, and it made me so angry that Irish Woman asked me to shut it off. I cannot fathom the insanity of a country that cannot feed a huge percentage of its children spending so much effort and money on luxuries for the chosen and nuclear weapons.
- Should I be worried that when we went to the hardware store yesterday, Irish Woman and I took a moment to price a tile saw?
- The bathroom project is nearing its end. Irish Woman had me put away most of the tools, she bought two cans of paint, and is currently in the other room happily brushing it onto the trimwork.
- In celebration, I cleaned up the tools area of our basement today. I’m not OCD, but not being able to find a screwdriver without going to the truck to hit the emergency kit was getting on my nerves.
Thoughts on the day
Posted by daddybear71 on April 7, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/07/thoughts-on-the-day-117/
Unleash the Hounds
This week the Senate will take up anti-gun rights bills. Several senators have vowed to filibuster the legislation, and massive efforts on both sides of the issue are underway. On one side is us, gun owners and pro-rights believers. On the other side are those who cannot trust citizens to live their own lives, to make their own choices, and be left alone. One side wants existing laws enforced, the other side wants new laws that will only be enforced when it is convenient. One side has already compromised too much, while the other will not rest until all freedoms are under the thumb of Washington.
Now is the time for us to truly make our voices heard.
Now is the time to get off the fence and start swinging for it.
Now is the time for all efforts to concentrate on the Senate.
Write your Senators. Call their offices. At all times, be polite and professional, but also be firm in reminding them that we expect them to side with us and the Constitution. Tell them that you expect them to support the filibuster, especially if they have voiced opposition to it. Tell them that if the legislation comes to a vote, that you expect them to vote “No”.
Let the Senate be the place where this folly dies, at least for now. Let them know: No mandatory background checks. No registrations. No limitations on our rights. We will not take one step back, and we will remember who stood with us, who stood against us, and who slunk away when things were difficult. We are the majority in this country, and we will not back down.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 7, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/07/unleash-the-hounds/
Thoughts on the Day
- Irish Woman has decided that we are going to try to give up artificial sweeteners. This means no diet Mountain Dew for her and no Coke Zero for me starting at sundown tomorrow.
- Lock away the children, old people, and breakables now while you still have a chance.
- Yep, $500 to cover the cost of materials for the new fence is looking like a pretty good estimate.
- I messed up and put my fence about 6 inches into my neighbor’s yard.
- I realized my error when Irish Woman stood on the property line and waved her arms at me.
- I already had six posts set in concrete by then.
- I have good neighbors. They said they didn’t care and thanked us for putting up the fence.
- All told, they just gave us about 50 square feet or so of their land. I’ll have to repay them in some way.
- Repeatedly moving 80 pound bags of post hole cement isn’t as much fun as it sounds.
- We went out to a friend’s farm for the annual shearing of the alpacas.
- Alpacas have toes. I did not know that.
- One alpaca took a shining to Boo and followed him around. We had to break it to him that an alpaca would not fit in the car.
- The wool is extremely soft and is supposed to be very warm. I think I’m going to get some socks.
- Baby emus have tiger stripes.
- Remember that bottle of wine that’s been whispering sweet nothings to me when I open the refrigerator? It is now a close and dear friend.
- There is enough wine in a standard bottle to fill up a pint beer glass twice with a little left over. I did not know that.
- Someday I’m going to have to post the things that come out of my keyboard when Koshka plunks her rump down on the laptop for the warmth.
- It is amazing how little traffic there is in Louisville when the Final Four game is on.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 6, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/06/thoughts-on-the-day-116/
News Roundup
- From the “Tax Dollars at Work” Department – Fisker Automotive, which has taken out $200 million in government loans, has fired 75% of its staff. The company, which was a showcase for the Obama administration’s efforts to bring about a green energy economy, has kept enough staff around to sell off assets, negotiate with the government about that pesky loan repayment issue, and possibly declare bankruptcy. Remember, when the government picks losers and winners, it usually picks losers.
- From the “Priorities” Department – British authorities are estimating that 30,000 people will die from cold temperature related issues this winter. That’s up from the 24,000 that died last winter. It appears that at least part of the problem is that the cost of heating a home to a comfortable level is rising sharply in the country as taxes on non-green energy sources drives up costs. For those on a fixed income, such as the elderly, that means deciding whether to shiver or starve. If someone ever calls you an alarmist for saying that the green energy crowd wants us to all to freeze to death in the dark, point them at this article.
- From the “Missed Opportunity” Department – A psychiatrist in Colorado reported the Aurora shooter to the authorities 38 days prior to the massacre. She apparently failed to put him in a mental institution for a 72 hour hold, but did make sure his student ID was shut off. That sound you heard as you read that was liability lawyers in Colorado shifting into high gear.
- From the “Junk Under The Bunk” Department – Police in Russia recently uncovered an ‘arsenal’ of World War II weapons hidden under a bed. The collection, which included a machine gun and several sub-machine guns, also included 220 rounds of ammunition and parts for other guns. If that gives the authorities vapors, I’d hate to see what they’d do if they ever looked under my bed.
- From the “FacePalm” Department – Police in Great Britain are expanding the criteria for hate crimes to include attacks against people because of their “sub-culture”, such as goth or punk-rock. Let’s hope this doesn’t spread over here, because the jails would be overflowing with Jedi/Trekky, Glock/1911, 9mm/.45, werewolf/vampire miscreants. Imagine getting in trouble with the law because you had the temerity to point and laugh at some ignorant hoplophobe because they felt threatened.
- From the “Marketing Fail” Department – Retail chain Target is in full damage control mode after a customer noticed that a plus sized dress was marked as being colored “manatee gray”, while a smaller version of the same dress was marked “dark heather gray”. Company employees are also looking for other examples of descriptions that are unflattering to their customers, such as the “Macho MooMoo”, which is being marketed to large teen boys, the “Panda Express”, a line of large, plush, black and white jogging suits, and the “Big-Boned Burka”, for the Muslim woman who might be just a tad more curvy than average.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 5, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/05/news-roundup-183/
Thoughts on the Day
- You know she loves you when you act like a complete dickhead on Wednesday night and she gets out of bed to make you a hot breakfast before you leave for work on Thursday.
- It is never a good thing when the term “hand grenade in a henhouse” goes through my mind when I see what has happened to my timelines and schedules while I was out for a few days.
- I’m feeling too optimistic about life at the moment, so I’m re-listening to episodes of Hardcore History that deal with the fall of the Roman Republic and the Eastern Front in World War II. I’ll be back to my normal dark mood in a couple of days.
- Not sure what’s going on, but I’ve been craving meat for three days. I’m getting plenty of protein in my diet, but the thought of a very rare steak is making my stomach growl.
- No, I haven’t been bitten by anyone or anything lately. Why do you ask?
- Girlie Bear is going to the movies with her friends tomorrow night. Apparently there is a boy involved. I have door kickers on call and surveillance platforms stacked up at several altitudes.
- Which deity do I sacrifice to in order to get relief from the Ohio Valley Funky Allergy Crud?
- The American Legion must be keeping its ear to the rail when it comes to how to separate people from their money. They’re raffling off a Legion branded Thompson submachine gun.
- It’s tempting, but where would I get ammunition to feed it?
- I must learn to not laugh out loud when a teenager uses the term “When I was young”.
- Irish Woman is a keeper. When asked if she needed anything at the store, she answered “sandpaper”.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 4, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/04/thoughts-on-the-day-115/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on April 4, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/04/todays-earworm-344/
Coming Soon
Here are the movies that were previewed when we went to the movies this afternoon:
- Classic Series – The Cinemark theater chain is showing classic movies on the big screen on a limited basis this month. Titles include Forrest Gump, Lawrence of Arabia, Casablanca, and The Godfather. I wish I had a few more days off so I could go see a few of them.
- Monsters University – A sequel to the great Pixar hit from a decade or so ago. Mike and Sully get through college life to become the monsters we all know and love.
- Smurfs 2 – Why this movie needed to be made is a mystery to me.
- Epic – This looked good until I learned that Stephen Tyler will be voicing a wise elder and Beyonce will be the wise older female. Sorry, but there is only so far my suspension of disbelief will stretch.
- Star Trek Into Darkness – From the seizure inducing preview, this seems like it might be watchable. I wonder how far back in time they’ll go this time, or perhaps they’ll change the polarity on something a few times.
- Turbo – A speed crazed garden snail falls into the engine of a muscle car and becomes speedy enough to compete in the Indianapolis 500. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
So that’s it. Kind of slim pickings for the summer. We’ll probably go see Monsters University, and I’m enough of a dork to shell out $15 to see the new Star Trek, but the rest aren’t looking like they’ll be worth the time and money. Hopefully the Classic Series is more than a one time thing.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 3, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/03/coming-soon-7/
Movie Review – The Croods
Attention Hollywood: We get it, OK? The fathers of teenagers, especially teenage girls, are backwards, violent, dull bullies. They do not welcome change in the ways that things happen, but they will eventually have a change of heart when faced with no other choice.
Now that that’s said, let’s talk about “The Croods“, the latest animated feature from Dreamworks.
Plot Synopsis (Some Spoilers)
The Croods are a family of cave dwellers who live on the ragged edge of extinction. They are isolated from other human populations because the others have died off. In order to keep his family alive, Grug, the father, is rather neurotic about keeping everyone inside their cave as much as possible. His teenage daughter, Eep, dreams of what exists beyond the limits of her father’s comfort zone. One night, she spies something outside the door to the cave, and sneaks out. She meets a wandering teenage boy named Guy. After being caught by her dad, she is being dragged back to the cave when the world starts shaking around them. A rockslide reveals a land of wonderful plants and creatures, which the family must cross in order to survive. Grug makes the usual movie dad moves of being an overprotective, controlling dolt, but in the end shows that he can accept changes. And they lived happily ever after.
The cast includes Nicolas Cage (Grug), Emma Stone (Eep), and Ryan Reynolds (Guy). The minor characters are played by Catherine Keener as Ugga, the mother, Chloris Leachman as Gran, the grandmother, and Clark Duke as Thunk, the moronic brother. The other characters in the story are a baby sister named Sandy and a lemur/sloth/whatever named Belt that have no real lines, but add comic relief to the story.
All of the voice acting is done well and I could believe that those animated characters would speak with their assigned voices, with the exception of Grug. Nicolas Cage used his natural voice for this character, and it just didn’t seem to fit very well. The character is barrel chested and muscular, but Cage’s slightly whiny, higher pitched voice didn’t work for me.
The animation in this story is amazing. There were points in the movie where I had to work hard to not believe that the settings were not actual footage from the real world with cartoons added. The details of the characters and the animals they encounter were astonishing. Dreamworks came right up to the edge of the uncanny valley on this one, but stayed just on the side of ‘cartoonish’ rather than’weird’. The animals in the movie have a Dr. Seuss feel to them, but with a sharp, toothy edge, and are rendered in a detail that would have been impossible a few years ago.
The story itself, while having some novel twists to it, has been done so many times, including by Dreamworks, that it’s predictable. The character of Grug is especially cliché. He follows the archetype of the father characters in other movies such as How to Train Your Dragon, Hotel Transylvania, Brave, and The Goofy Movie – A lout who tries to keep his family safe to the point that it becomes comical and who scorns any ideas from younger, hipper characters. I guess all that can be done in a family friendly movie has been done and overdone.
The pacing of the story was actually quite good. While the “loutish father” schtick is played over and over, the plot moves along very well. The movie comes in at 98 minutes, and I never felt like it was dragging or rushed.
Overall, I’d give the movie a B. It’s worth a rental or a matinée, but not worth paying full price. It’s also pretty much the only movie for young children in theaters at the moment, so expect a crowd at the cineplex.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 3, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/03/movie-review-the-croods/
Thoughts on the Day
- Bad ways to wake up #123101921 – Being punched in the throat by your spouse when she’s having a bad dream.
- Telling my lovely wife that she was ‘moving like pond water’ this morning might not have been the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
- Being able to take apart a small engine to repair a broken pull cord does not mean that I am able to put the coiled spring that jumped out back where it belongs.
- It’ll be back from the shop in a few days.
- No, really, I’m fascinated with your theory on how the NRA is trying to force children into a paramilitary training program in grade school.
- I’d love sign up for your newsletter. Please send it to yomamaallama@hoplopho.be
- No, seriously, it’s a family name from the old country. It means “Sarcastic bastard who just wants to pay for his gas and get a soda”.
- Oh, and thanks for printing one of those “How did you like your service today?” cards with my receipt. I’ve put it to good use.
- Dear Porsche driver – I’m glad you noticed the trailer hitch on the truck.
- Of course, you couldn’t see it by the time you finally came to a full and complete stop.
- It’s there to keep your German speed machine from tearing up my rear suspension.
- I think your tires have a flat side now.
- I could get used to this vacation day thing.
- That bottle of wine in the refrigerator has whispering sweet nothings to me since breakfast time.
- In anticipation of a heavy frost and possible freeze tonight, Irish has run strings of 7 watt black light Christmas bulbs around the fruit trees.
- We’re also going to wrap them in plastic for the night.
- Supposedly that will protect the peach and cherry trees, which have taken advantage of the break in cold weather to bud out.
- It looks like we have pinkish-purple ghosts out in the yard tonight.
- Good thing – Your child is loved by you, your wife, your friends, your wife’s family, and several people I’m sure I know somehow.
- Bad thing – They all gave Easter candy to your child.
- Worst thing – When asked “How much Easter candy have you eaten today?”, your child stops vibrating enough to say “A lot”.
Posted by daddybear71 on April 1, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/04/01/thoughts-on-the-day-114/
The Trial of the Golden Egg
DaddyBear the Minivandian stood at the edge of a field of competition. His heir, the Young Prince, stood before him, kitted out in his finest sweater and running shoes. His mate, The Lady of Eyre, along with his daughter, Listens to Stories, stood to his side. The Lady of Eyre was making preparations to use her magical box of images, while Listens to Stories was rapidly telling harrowing tales of rushing mobs and hand to hand combat to her brother.
As the family of Minivandians waited, the highest of the local holy men walked to the front of the crowd. The cleric raised his hands, asking for silence from the multitude gathered around him.
“Silence! Silence, please!” he said in his quiet, but authoritative, voice.
The crowd slowly gave their attention to the wizened holy man. The mass of townsfolk was made up primarily of children and their parents, with a healthy leavening of gray-headed grandparents.
“My friends, we come together during the Festival of the Risen God. I am delighted to see so many young children here today. We mark this holiday with sacred green plastic grass and chocolate. We revere the symbol of this season: the white rabbit wearing a colorful vest and top-hat. And finally, we mark this most holy time of year with a quintessentially holy rite: The Trial of the Golden Egg!”
At his words, the assembled children whooped in glee. The shook their brightly colored baskets and hooted their excitement.
“Across this mighty field of sport are scattered thousands of colored eggs.” the priest continued, gesturing at the expanse of green grass behind him. “All the children will be released to gather as many as they can, and the one who finds the Golden Egg shall be remembered as the champion of this holy competition for an entire year. But beware, young adventurers, this competition is difficult. There is only one Golden Egg in this field of thousands of eggs, and every child here is going to be fighting and clawing to find it. This trial is only for the pure of heart and thick of skin.”
“Now, if everyone is ready” he said, as the noise from the assembled children rose to a war cry that made the Minivandian wistfully remember barbarian hordes set to sack a monastery and other wonderful parts of his youth, “We shall begin!”
At his words, the crowd of children broke into a dead run. As the line of children spread across the field, they snarfled up the colorful eggs like a plague of locusts. The young and timid were happy to pick up the normal eggs in order to savor the sweet treats they contained, but the truly adventurous and ambitious eschewed such easy pickings in search of The Golden Egg.
The Young Prince broke from the pack, along with several larger boys, as they scanned the grass for a glint of gold. Clasping his father’s bag of holding, he ran past clutches of red, blue, green, and yellow eggs in search of the elusive prize that would bring him fame.
A larger boy, hoping to cut down on the competition, attempted to knock the Young Prince down and out of the running. Seeing him coming, the Young Prince dipped his shoulder, caught the knave in the breadbasket, and flipped him over onto the grass.
Continuing his quest, the Young Prince noticed a metallic glint coming from the corner of the field. Picking up speed, he ran toward it. Other children noticed his change of direction, and the three closest moved to intercept him.
The first attempted to trip the Young Prince, but the young warrior anticipated his attack and dodged it. As his opponent overextended his feet, the Young Prince landed a well-placed kick to the knee, knocking the bigger child to the ground with a howl of pain.
Within feet of the Golden Egg, the Young Prince was knocked sprawling by a tackle from the largest child on the field. Scrambling forward on his elbows and knees, the Young Prince mumbled a curse and flung a handful of grass and dirt into the boy’s face. Bellowing in pain and rage, the young orc tried to lash out, but the young Minivandian was able to scramble to his feet and dive for the prize.
As his hand closed around the most prized of all eggs, he felt another hand closing around his. Muttering the beginnings of one of his most heinous combat spells, the Young Prince looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. The young girl who gazed back at him was barely two years of age, but had been able to both keep up with the Young Prince and fend off the hordes of older, larger children who tried to impede her quest. Her clothing showed the grass stains she had gained in her struggles, and her golden curls of hair were coated in dirt.
As she realized that the Young Prince had bested her, though by the smallest of margins, the glee on her face melted to sorrow. A single small tear crossed her cherubic cheek, and her smile turned quickly to a quivering chin. As only a two-year-old girl can, she began to cry.
The Young Prince considered the young girl and looked at the Golden Egg. It’s cool metal suddenly felt very heavy, as did his heart. Where was the glory in being the hero of the hour if he must harm one so small and beautiful to do it? Could he face his ancestors in the Hall of Heroes when his first conquest had been a girl not yet old enough to walk across the street without holding onto her mother’s hand?
Muttering under his breath, the Young Prince released his grip on the egg, dropping it into the still outstretched hands of the little girl. Her quivering chin returned to a wide grin as a look of surprise and happiness crossed her face. Wiping the tear from her cheek, she grasped the egg and wrapped her arms around the Young Prince in a hug of thanksgiving.
Hurrying up to the Young Prince, My Lord DaddyBear saw this tableau and knew that his son was truly a noble young man. Taking him by the hand, the Minivandian helped him select several of the other eggs that were strewn on the ground as the Lady of Eyre captured images of the adventure for later reflection.
Thus did the adventures of the Young Prince begin with a noble twist. As he matured, he had many other moments of glory, but this was the one his father would look back on most fondly.
Now, pass me those jelly beans so that I may tell you tales of high adventure….
Posted by daddybear71 on March 30, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/03/30/the-trial-of-the-golden-egg/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 