Recently, a friend told me that her son was joining the Army, and asked if I had any words of wisdom for him.  I told her I’d speak with him if she wanted, or I could put together a few thoughts that she could pass on.

Here’s what I came up with.

1. Don’t be stupid.  To paraphrase John Wayne, you’ve chosen a hard life, and it will get a lot harder if you don’t use your head for something other than to keep your ears apart.
2. Don’t ever do anything that would make your grandmother ashamed of you.
3. Learn everything you can, no matter how trivial.  There is no such thing as useless knowledge or a useless skill.  That boring class you go to or that manual lying around the day room might be what points you in the direction of your chosen profession.
4. Volunteer.  Yeah, I know, never volunteer.  But getting exposure to new things will help with rule 3, and the most interesting and fun things you ever do will probably come because you put your hand up and said “I’ll do it.”
5. Keep your ears open and your mouth shut.  The military tends to have a rigid social structure based on rank and time in service.  It’s also a harsh meritocracy, where experience is everything.  For the first year or so, you will be at the bottom of both ladders.   You will know when you’ve started climbing either of them.
   1. On the other hand, if you don’t understand, ask.  It’s better to take crap for not getting it the first time it’s explained than to catch hell for failure.
6. For at least the first few years in the military, you can live without the following items (See rule 1):
   1. Any vehicle that you cannot afford to pay cash for.
   2. A huge stereo or TV.
   3. An STD.  See rule #2 and wrap that rascal.
   4. A DUI or any other criminal record. See rule 1 and 2.
   5. A credit card that you can’t afford to pay off every month.
   6. Cigarettes or chewing tobacco
7. The following people are not your friends (See rules 1 and 2):
   1. Car salesmen
   2. That pretty young thing trying to get you to sign up for a credit card
   3. Pawn shop and tattoo parlor owners
   4. Strippers
   5. The guy who brings drugs to the party
   6. The bar owner who doesn’t card for underage drinkers
8. If they’re worth marrying, they’re worth waiting for.  Getting married in a hurry is rarely a good idea. (See rule 1)
   1. Beware the potential spouse who knows way too much about the benefits for married people in the military.
9. Someday, it will end.  It may be after one enlistment where all you get is a handshake and a DD214, or it may end after 30 years where you get a few hundred men and women pass in review to honor you.  But it will end.  Be prepared for that day, because how you handle it will impact the rest of your life.