Rest In Peace, Tim Wilson, August 5, 1961 to February 26, 2014. Thanks for all the great laughs and a good excuse to take Irish Woman out on one of our first dates.
Today’s Earworm – II
Posted by daddybear71 on February 27, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/27/todays-earworm-ii-5/
News Roundup
- From the “Medical Advice” Department – The American Pediatricians Association is urging parents to not use small clinics, such as the “Doc-in-the-box” shops that are cropping up in department stores and pharmacies. Their reasoning is that these clinics don’t provide continuity in care the way that going to a doctor’s office does, and I can see their point. If you are using a doctor, they need to know what medications you’re on, what illnesses you’ve had, and what vaccinations you’ve received. But the convenience of these clinics, especially when someone is sick, can’t be ignored. Here’s an example: I came down with a sinus infection last weekend. I called my doctor on Wednesday, after toughing it out for a few days. She doesn’t see patients on Wednesdays, so I asked if I could get in on Thursday. The receptionist couldn’t find an open appointment on Thursday, but she offered to have my doctor’s assistant call me. I got a call back later that afternoon, and I was invited to come into the office on Thursday morning and they would try to fit me in. The last time I did that, I sat in the waiting room, sick and infectious, for four hours, while those who had appointments went back to be seen. That’s not a knock against my doctor. She has a lot of patients and takes excellent care of all of us. I declined, went to the urgent care clinic in the same building and hospital system she uses, and was seen in less than 10 minutes. 10 minutes after that, I had a diagnosis, a prescription, and discharge paperwork. If doctors have problems in knowing what their patients are getting treated for at these clinics, they either need to tie in with them so that the medical records at their office are in sync with the clinic, or up their staff with ARNP or physician’s assistants so they can see more patients who didn’t have the forethought to schedule their sinus infections two weeks in advance.
- From the “Facepalm” Department – A Colorado politician reinforced my opinion on off-body carry the other day when he left a hearing on concealed carry permits without taking along the bag in which he keeps his pistol. Remember, kids, being responsible with your firearms means knowing where it is at all times. Chalk this one up to the same reminder that I have for the police who leave their guns in the bathroom stall or the people who forget the pistol in the unlocked glove box when they run into the store and leave the kids behind.
- From the “Get Back In Line” Department – A woman in Florida has been given a month to comply with an order to hook her home up to utilities. It seems that the lady has been living “off the grid” for some time, using solar panels for power and gathering rain water. I would love to get an unbiased account of the cities side of this, because for the life of me, I can’t figure out where it’s their business what she does in her own home. The only possible reasoning I can imagine is if she doesn’t have a septic tank, so they might have a health or environmental angle on this.
- From the “Stupidity Hurts” Department – An escaped criminal in Texas is back in jail after calling 911 to complain that his handcuffs were too tight. It appears that Mr. Houdini escaped after being left alone, but apparently never figured out how to pick the lock on his bracelets. Folks, this is what you get when you don’t teach shop classes in school anymore. If he or his compatriots had been made to go to metal shop for a few semesters, he’d be a fugitive, not an inmate.
- From the “Big Ball of Fur” Department – A leopard is running around a city in India, and has injured at least 7 people. Authorities have closed schools and urged residents to not approach the feline. They also report that a large ball of twine and a kilo and a half of fine Afghani catnip will be delivered late this evening, so they hope to have the situation well in hand by the end of the week.
- From the “Four Rules” Department – A man in Michigan killed himself recently when he tried to demonstrate how a handgun safety works by pointing a loaded gun at his head and pulling the trigger. Mr. Dumas, 36, apparently had thrown back a few drinks that evening, and demonstrated his unique technique for a function check on three handguns. The third gun apparently didn’t know that it was supposed to be unloaded, and he shot himself in the head. Remember kids, the Four Rules exist for a reason, and please remember DaddyBear’s Fifth Rule – Alcohol, stupidity, and gunpowder do not mix. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the man’s girlfriend and the three children who were in the home at the time.
- From the “Luck and a Little Help” Department – A bus driver in Dayton is crediting the small New Testament he kept in a breast pocket for saving his life. He had stopped his bus to check out a mechanical problem when he was shot three times and stabbed by several men. Two of the shots hit him in the chest, but were stopped by his New Testament. Later reporting shows that the gun was a .25, and that the FBI has been asked to investigate whether this was a ‘hate crime’, which is much worse than an attempted murder.
- From the “Can’t Live, If Living Is Without Me” Department – A man in Florida was arrested after calling his ex-girlfriend 145 times in 11 hours. Captain Success also threatened to blow up the school where the lady worked, and told a police officer that they would need the SWAT team to get him. I guess he decided to not go down in a blaze of glory, because he’s still being referred to in the present tense. Officials from the Department of Homeland Security are flying in a relationship counselor for the woman, who is also being given a copy of DaddyBear’s bestselling self-help book “Why Did You Go Out With The Dumbass In The First Place?”, a guide to dating and breaking up.
- From the “Own It” Department – Unions for federal workers are crying out in frustration after a proposed 1 percent pay increase for federal workers. The Obama administration has apparently noticed that the coffers aren’t bottomless, and has actually started taking steps to curb the parts of the federal budget that won’t inflame their voter base. To the leaders of those unions, I have this to say: You put him there, therefore you can deal with the consequences. If we weren’t wasting billions of dollars on “shovel-ready” projects, bailing out your brothers in the UAW, and ‘investing’ in failing green energy companies, we’d have more money to buy union votes for the 2014 elections.
- From the “Going to Hell on a Scholarship” Department – A thief in Norway stole a cell phone and a wallet that its owner, a priest, had left in a dressing room while he went out to give Mass. Satan had no comment at this time, so we can assume that the thief still walks among the living. Confidential sources report that the unit next to my condo on the Lake of Fire is being renovated for him. I’ll have to invite him over for a warm Ballentines when I get down there.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 27, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/27/news-roundup-211/
Movie Quotes – Day 58
That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most. — Up
I doubt that any of my kids will ever remember me coming home from a long trip away. They may remember flashes of vacations or such. But what I want them to have vivid and clear memories of is the time I take to care for them, to teach them, or to just be with them. Kids don’t need “quality time”, they need “time”. The habits I have of reading to Boo, of taking Girlie Bear to the range, of always asking Little Bear how school is going and talking to him, will, I hope, stick with them for the rest of their lives. My true goal is that they do the same things when they become parents.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 27, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/27/movie-quotes-day-58/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on February 27, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/27/todays-earworm-482/
Movie Quotes – Day 57
Snaps: [pointing to Anthony] Pop this guy!
Aldo: Boss! We can’t have a stiff in the house with company coming!
Snaps: You’re right. It ain’t proper.— Oscar
I take it as a sign of respect that someone puts on a pot of coffee or offers me a beer when I go to their home. I take it as an obligation that when I find out someone’s on their way over that I give the house a quick once-over. There seem to be more rules of hospitality here in the South than I remember out West or back home. What are your traditions on being both a guest and a host?
Posted by daddybear71 on February 26, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/26/movie-quotes-day-57-2/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on February 26, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/26/todays-earworm-481/
Things I Learned From A Dinosaur Documentary
- Meat eaters were all jerks.
- You can figure out all kinds of behavior based on the fossilized bones of a bunch of animals that got washed into a riverbank together.
- All baby animals are cute, even if you have no way of knowing how they really looked.
- Apparently because modern animals do it, then the dinosaurs must have done it too.
- Just because you’re the baddest reptile on your particular block, doesn’t mean the guy on the next block over isn’t bigger, badder, and meaner.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 25, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/25/things-i-learned-from-a-dinosaur-documentary/
The War Chant of the Minivandians
Posted by daddybear71 on February 25, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/25/the-war-chant-of-the-minivandians/
Movie Quotes – Day 56
All right, I’m coming out. Any man I see out there, I’m gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I’m not only gonna kill him, but I’m gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down. — Unforgiven
Sometimes, all it takes is to lay out your plan of action and the consequences of failure to get others to go along with you. If you’ve watched this movie, you’ll notice that no-one took a shot at Munny after he left the saloon. Most of the people in that town probably had no idea what was going on. All they knew was that there had been a bunch of shooting, and now somebody was promising to rain death and destruction upon them if they got involved, so they hunkered down and let him walk away. I need to learn how to be this clear in my communications.
Posted by daddybear71 on February 25, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/25/movie-quotes-day-56-2/
Today’s Earworm
Posted by daddybear71 on February 25, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/02/25/todays-earworm-480/
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 