• I have officially dubbed the water playground at the YMCA the “Cement Pond”.  
  • We need to teach Boo to swim.  He’s getting very brave in the pool.
• Canning victories – bread and butter pickles and Thai chili dill pickles.
• Canning failure – chunky salsa.  It turned out to be more of a mildly spicy relish.  That will be for Boo or to mix into dishes that need peppers and onions.
  • Next batch of salsa used a different recipe and isn’t as chunky.  Initial testing indicates that it has a significantly spicier taste.  It’s definitely going to be good for drinking beer and eating chips during football.
• Canning endeavors still waiting on results – Regular dill pickles, jalapeno dill pickles, and dill pickle relish.  Also peach preserves, margarita strawberry jam, and blueberry jam.
• Dessert for tomorrow night might possibly be rhubarb cobbler.  Our rhubarb plant is very plentiful and could use a bit of trimming.
• Why is it that I was the designated driver on Saturday night, and only drank ginger ale and ice water, and I still woke up with a hangover?
• “Honey, the car is groaning when I turn the corner” is never a good thing.
• It must have been Methamphetamine Appreciation Day at Kroger today.  I’ve never seen so many people twitching, sweating, and mumbling to themselves in my life.
• Being two days into a four day weekend is kind of nice.

• Lord, please spare me from people who can’t stand silence, especially when I’m trying to work.
• Apparently I’m going to be building both an AR-15 and a porch/deck in the near future.  Ouch, my wallet.
  • Seriously, no conversation with a spouse that starts with “Honey, how much do you think it would take to ……..” can end well.
  • Also, when she asks me what a bottle jack is, I know it’s not going to be simple.
• To the semi driver who had a blowout on the freeway at 60 miles an hour this afternoon, thank you so very much for not tipping over, jackknifing, or running over those two twits in sub compacts who passed you on the right as you tried to get over.  Being a witness to all that would have messed up my entire evening.
• Leftover homemade macaroni and cheese topped with hot salsa may be the food of the gods.
• Listened to the latest Hardcore History today.  Now I have a strong urge to chuck it all and go live on the plains in a yurt.
• Listening to West Coast urban types who claim to be libertarian leaning prattle on about how we need gun control for the evil black rifles and how I don’t need as much ammunition as I darn well want is not good for my blood pressure.  Thank God for the off button on a radio.
• My arthritis medicine arrived in the mail today.  I’ve been out for about 10 days while I waited for the pharmacy to fill the prescription which I mailed to them 23 days ago.  Apparently Irish Woman was as happy to see it come as I was due to my sparkling personality these past few days.
  • I guess I should be honored to be at the cutting edge of the way all health care will be taken care of in a couple of years.
• Why is it that whenever Boo comes home with a note from his teacher asking that one of us call her, I get “The Look”?

• Things that I like that I can’t explain # 2341128 – Buttermilk Pie.  
• Apple pie moonshine and ginger ale might be tasty, but apparently it makes me mean as a snake.
• Dog activities of the weekend – brushing, bath, more brushing, another bath, then more brushing.  Followed up by vacuuming the house three times to get the hair that fell off after all that.
• Put up 9 pints of salsa this evening.  It’s the first time doing this, so stay tuned for results in a few weeks.
  • Apparently I am capable of learning.  This time I remembered to wash my hands after chopping up hot peppers but before I touched anything sensitive.
• We took the kids to a water park for a few hours.  Let me just say this:  Ladies, if you’re thinking of getting a tattoo on your abdomen or lower back, go to a water park and check out the women about 10 years older than you.  Decide if that’s what you want to look like after a pregnancy or two and having your ass kicked by Father Time for a decade.
• Gentlemen, you’re not off the hook:  Before you get a tattoo at 20 when your chest, back, and arms are relatively hair free, take a look at the men 10 years older to see what a hairy tribal, cartoon character, or motivational phrase in Japanese looks like.
• While at the water park, I went down a two or three story water slide that was an enclosed tube.  I now know what it feels like to be flushed.
• Watched Animalympics with the kids during the hot part of the day. Never noticed the smoking, drinking, and cartoon cleavage in that movie before.  It’s a wonder that we didn’t burst into flame or have exploding craniums in 1980.
• Koshka got out last night and didn’t come home until this morning.  She proceeded to eat a huge breakfast and then sleep until 3 PM.  I guess we’ve reached the feline teenage years.
• Homemade peach jam on french toast is good enough to make bacon superfluous.
• Pro-tip – Do not leave a 4 year old alone in the bathtub with a new bottle of bubble bath.  In related news, the bathtub is cleaner than I’ve seen it in a long time, and the entire house smells like bubble gum.

• If you’re a health care provider, don’t open a discussion with “Well, I guess we won’t have to cut that <insert appendage> after all.” in a deadpan way if that’s the worst case scenario for the reason your patient is seeing you.  Especially if you meant it as a joke.
• I need to restock my larder at work.  I’m down to a packet of tuna in spring water, a couple packets of graham crackers, and some breath mints.  Remarkably, I wasn’t quite that hungry.
• When things go wrong and you’re working alone, it feels really good when your co-workers actually answer their phones after work hours.
• Apparently all hell is going to break loose around here weather wise tonight.  I for one welcome a visit from Thor the thunder god.  At this point in the summer, I would welcome an invasion of ice giants.
• BooBoo has a new fascination with firearms.  He picked out a stainless pistol in the last sporting goods store flyer, and has announced that he wants a ray gun.  I swear I had nothing to do with it.
• Efforts to convince Koshka that she does not, in fact, like Italian food have so far been fruitful this evening.
• I hear rumors that one of my gun stores has Russian SKS’s in stock.  I think I may be wandering down there this weekend.

It is good that I know how to swear in several languages, for it allows me to blow of steam in a rather effective, but non-violent, way without someone calling Human Resources or Child Protective Services.  Lately, my favorite word has been “Perkele“, followed closely by “Donnerwetter!”.

• We go to the farm to buy produce to supplement what we get from our own garden.  Boo goes to the farm to feed produce from our garden to the animals in the petting zoo.  It’s the circle of life.
• Food prep tally for the weekend – 2 bushels of tomatoes and 2 bushels of corn, along with several onions, jalapenos, bell peppers, cloves of garlic, and my own special blend of 11 herbs and spice made 13 quarts of spaghetti sauce, 13 quarts of chili base, and 16 quarts of frozen corn.  
  • Next up – tomatoes from our own garden.  I’m thinking salsa.
  • One bushel of tomatoes, chopped into 16 pieces apiece, will fit into a 16 quart turkey roaster.
• Apparently, we are slowly buying up the available supply of quart sized mason jars in Louisville.
  • Now I get to build shelves to hold them all.
• Singing “Where is Thumbkin” with a child who has a speech impediment can cause some rather comedic results.
  • It did, however, turn in to a good lesson on how to say “TH” properly.
• Taking your child to a birthday party with his school friends will do a lot to raise your opinion of your child’s behavior.
• Parental pride note of the day – Girlie Bear asked if she could read my copy of The Hobbit this afternoon, and it looks like she’s already 1/3 of the way through it.
• Heartbreaking moment of the weekend – Walking through SuperHumongousMart this afternoon, I heard a woman say to her daughter “You only have to go for another year and then you can drop out.” as they were shopping for school supplies.
• Things you don’t want to hear #2371992 – “Boo, why is your shirt in the toilet?”

There are few things more frustrating that proofreading a long post and realizing that you missed the point entirely and have to either abandon it or start over.

• I have successfully learned something new at work every day this week.  That’s a good feeling.
• The thermometer on the car said 73 degrees when I left home this morning, 82 when I got to work, 106 when I got back in the car this evening, and 85 when I got home.  Yep, it’s Louisville.
• It’s rained here two days in a row.  I’m pretty sure that’s the first time that’s happened in a couple of months.
• Boo is looking at the advertisement for the local super-dooper humongous sporting goods store.  He has announced that he wants one of the pretty guns and a parachute.  Not sure where that’s leading, but it sounds interesting.
• The farm I buy produce at has canning tomatoes by the ton. This weekend it shall be tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, chili base, and spaghetti sauce.
• Boo’s school decided it was too muddy to go play outside today.  Heck, to a 4-year-old, it’s never too muddy.
• I woke up last night to listen to Irish Woman argue with Koshka over who got to sleep in the center of the bed.  I took the smart path and let them hash it out on their own while I went back to sleep.
• A couple mulberry bushes have decided to spring up next to our pond.  I for one welcome this opportunity to get the machete out of the tool closet.
  • Yeah, they’re only 1/2 inch in diameter at best, but any excuse to use the machete is a good excuse to use the machete.
• Apparently Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend are bringing their back-up band to Louisville in February.  I may have to get tickets to see the “We Didn’t Plan For Retirement Very Well” tour.

• The new job keeps going along well.  I’m learning new things every day.  
• I’m proud of myself.  I had the urge to utter the phrase “grinning like an idiot” today, but I resisted and just retreated into my cubicle like a bear in his cave.
• Girlie Bear came home from the water park last night as pink as a gorilla suit.  Aloe and Noxzema helped a little, but she had to go to work at the zoo this morning.  She seems to have followed our advice and stayed in the shade as much as possible, but she still looks like she’s been french fried.
• Kroger is having a sale on canned goods.  Irish Woman is stocking up, and I need to put more shelves in the basement.
• We will be making more pickles tomorrow.  I’m thinking of throwing in a few dried Thai chilis and a clove of garlic in each jar.
• Hidden somewhere in this house is the remote to the overly-technologized ceiling fan in my living room.  I will give half my kingdom to the brave soul who goes on a quest and finds it.  Ask the gnome at the gate for your first clue.
• Apparently Boo wants a parrot.  I’m think about just teaching Koshka to swear and have her follow him around for a few days.