Ah, the joys of home ownership.

The steps leading off of our back deck to the dog yard did a 30 degree list to the right a while back. It took a bit of time for money, truck maintenance, and decent weather to all line up at the same time, but I got to it this weekend.

Here are the supplies:

8 x 8 foot 2×8
20 x 8 foot 2×6
3 x 8 foot 2×10
1 x 6 foot 4×4
1 panel lattice
3 x 8 foot 5/4×6 decking boards (trim)

1 50 pound bag of post hole mix

20 50 pound bags of drainage rock

Anyone who tells you that things aren’t getting more expensive needs to go buy lumber, concrete, and rock. What I thought would be about $300 turned into almost $1000.

About 2 cubic meters of Kentucky clay had to be excavated out from under the steps and landing, then replaced with drainage rock. Not sure which was heavier.

Worked all day Saturday and all day into the twilight Sunday. I owe my neighbors baked goods because I was running a radial saw and a table saw at 8:30 PM last night to finish up.

Everything hurts, I’m pretty sure I pulled something in both my back and the back of my left leg, and I have multiple cuts and splinters in both hands.

On a positive note, it’s now safe to walk down from the deck into the back yard again.

For those keeping score, it took 5 trips to Lowe’s.

Ouch, my wallet, and aching too-old-for-this-crap body.

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For my next trick, I will have the HVAC company out tomorrow to look at our outdoor unit for the furnace / air conditioning. It’s dipping down into the 30’s / 40’s at night again, and it started making loud noises Friday morning.

Since this wasn’t a true emergency, I opted to only pay $98 to get someone to come out on Monday. Irish Woman and the Young Prince left on Friday night for a bass fishing tournament, so I figured I could rough it for a couple of nights.

The dogs, however, disagreed. Ever try to sleep, especially when you’re bone tired and aching from the sole of your feet to the top of your forehead, when 3 medium to large dogs are chilly and want to snuggle? Yeah, me neither. Not that I didn’t try, mind you.

I’m currently looking forward to paying for this repair work, even if just so that all of other mammals can get warm enough to leave me be.

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While trying to fix my aches and pains with Meloxicam, stretching, and hot chocolate this morning, I made the mistake of checking the political news.

Great googly moogly, are we in trouble.

The main theme given out by both parties lately seems to be “You don’t have to fall in love, you just have to fall in line.”

In my lifetime, I have never seen both major candidates being so unpopular in an election year.

• I’m pretty sure that Friday’s Air Force safety briefing will include a reminder that you need not set yourself on fire to warm other people up.
• We’re expected to get some rough weather tonight. We’re going to experience high winds, rain, possible tornadoes, and a slight chance of frogs and burning rain. The weather dudes on the TV are saying that this is a ‘once in 3 to 4 years’ occurrence. You know, like we had last winter, and the winter before that. Oh yeah, and the winter before that.
• I’m actually kind of proud that even after not living under my roof for almost a decade, my daughter locked up and paid attention when I called her by her full government name.
• The crud is working its way through our household. Boo had it late last week, and Irish Woman woke up feeling like death warmed over this morning. I’m trying to stay away from both of them.
• If I can stay healthy for the next few days, I’m going to go to a meet-up down in Tennessee on Saturday. I need to see my tribe.

A 1 way ticket to Helsinki is about $1000 a person.

An apartment in my old neighborhood is somewhere in the $1500 to $2000 a month range. Food and monthly expenses might be a bit higher, but I think I would be able to manage.

Wouldn’t need a car. Looking at street view, my old grocery store, bakery, liquor store, and all that are within walking distance of where we’d live.

There are 2 really good parks in the neighborhood, so I’d have somewhere to walk the dogs.

The Young Prince needs to learn a second language, so that would be a plus. Also, tall, half-Finnish grandchildren someday.

3 hours from Estonia by boat, 4 hours to Sweden. Norway, Poland, and Germany are a very brief flight away.

I’m not seeing a downside here.

Now to discuss it with Irish Woman. I think I’m old enough to run away from home, but I’d like for her to tag along.

Plus for her – White nights between May and August. Pleasant summers, beautiful falls.
Minus for her – Dark days between November and February. Winters that get brass monkey cold starting in October.

I wonder if she likes salmon soup and reindeer steak?

• Question – What’s the difference between a Chinese bio-researcher saying “I wonder if we can…” and an American redneck yelling out “Hey, y’all! Watch this!”?
  • Answer – NHS funding
• Had a couple of flights yesterday. On my first leg, there were two mothers with toddlers
  • One was sharing her double-caff, extra syrup, no foam mocha thingamajig with her two-year-old, then gave him her iPad.
  • The other already had the tyke in his pajamas, was giving him a high-carb snack just before boarding, and read The Cat in the Hat to him as we taxied.
  • Guess which child made me stare longingly at the emergency exits for a couple of hours and which fell asleep right after we took off.
• I was worried about Iran and Pakistan exchanging missile strikes until someone mentioned that they were helping each other scratch fleas.
  • Hey, you got high explosives on my terrorists! Just for that, I’ll get high explosives on your terrorists!
• It’s probably a coincidence that the protests have tapered off since winter finally made its appearance. I wonder what the mob will be outraged about come springtime?

• I’ve read both versions, and I have to say that President Biden’s latest speech flows better in the original German.
• Now that the New Year is here, Louisville has reverted to its normal gray, chilly, and wet state. I’m just hoping that we get enough rain to flush a good chunk of the city into the river.
  • We’d have to do something about what that would do to the innocent people living downstream, but I think the loss of the Orifice on the Ohio would make up for it.
• With the upcoming ‘change’ in leadership of the NRA, I wonder what the preferred executive clothing line will be. My money’s on either Carhartt, for those who want to appeal to the grass roots at photo shoots between cocktail parties in Aspen, or Hugo Boss, for those who want to just be honest about their desire to curb stomp any competition for power or dissident thought.
• I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the best way to stop illegal immigration is to prosecute the companies and organizations that regularly employ illegal labor. Walls and border guards are all good, but the day after you perp walk the head of Tyson Chicken after you charge him with human trafficking, that problem will start to solve itself.
• I think the Israeli government missed a PR trick when they failed to name their Gaza operation “Dinah Vengeance.” For those who missed that one, Dinah was the daughter of Jacob. He was going to marry her into a neighboring family, but the supposed groom decided to rape her instead. To make up for this crime, Jacob asked that all of the men in the offending family be circumcised. While they were recuperating, Jacob’s twelve sons crept into the village and killed them all to avenge their sister’s honor.
  • The patriarch wasn’t too happy about this, but you can be sure that nobody ever messed with his family’s women ever again.
  • It’s all about setting expectations and sending a message.
• I’ve heard some shrill reportage that North Korean and Iranian missiles and drones are being used in Ukraine. Some see this as a way for Putin to bolster his flagging materiel situation. I see it as a way for us to get battlefield performance data on the best that those two shitholes can produce.

Twice this week, the Boy Child, the Young Prince, the Last Scion of His Mother’s House, has almost missed the school bus because he was too engrossed in electronic frippery to feel the ticking of the clock.

So, being a good father, I took away the primary electronic distraction, along with the pair of headphones he was losing himself in.

The next day, he was using another set of headphones and the miniature electronic distraction to wile away the minutes between rising from slumber and clambering aboard the educational conveyance.

Needless to say, I was rather…. irked. Irritated, you might say.

Using The Voice, I demanded surrender of the headphones, the stowage of the phone, and declared that henceforth, it is forbidden for him to utilize electronics prior to his departure for school.

His mother, the Irish Woman, love of my life and bearer of my child, opined that she occasionally asks him to check his school email and grades before school.

Due to my love and respect for her, these protestations did not fall upon deaf ears.

“Verily,” said I, pointing toward the rat’s next that is the boy’s desk, “he may utilize the computer of many hundreds of dollars which I purchased for his education and which now sits at the bottom of a pile of papers.”

Quoth my sprog, “But that’s electronics.” His eyes danced with the knowledge that he had me now. “You said that I cannot use electronics!”

“OK,” I replied with a shrug. “You may not utilize that either. Go to school lacking insight and warning of impending doom and quizzes.”

A look of shock came across his countenance. “But… but….”

I turned upon my heel, marching away from the high keening of his mother.

What the boy is learning, slowly, is that I am a professionally trained asshole. Not only am I trained, but I have years upon years of experience.

What he hasn’t realized, yet, is that I enjoy it.

Tune in next week for another episode of “You may be almost as tall as me, but you’re not even close to being meaner than me.” Same bear time, same bear channel.

A thought occurs, and we all know that’s a dangerous proposition when I say that.

There’s a lot of talk about the quality of new Star Wars properties, especially the stuff on Disney+ when compared to the original and sequel trilogy.

Leaving aside the sequel trilogy, I have been at least entertained by what I have seen of modern Star Wars. Some were really good, some were meh, some was ridiculously bad. But they were all at least worth the time. My opinion, and yours may vary from that.

But back to my thought – Is the problem that the original and prequel series were, to at least some extent, high space fantasy, while the Disney+ programs are more in line with pulp science fiction?

Are we sitting on our couches waiting for a life changing event to take place, then getting disappointed with just being served short-term entertainment, with varying degrees of quality?

I haven’t seen any Star Trek since the second season of Enterprise, but I hear the same anger over the latest crop of Trek television.

Are we expecting War of the Worlds, but then getting mad because we got Flash Gordon?

• Tonight, Irish Woman had her heart set on cooking some of the large bag of frozen shrimp she brought home last night.
• It seems that she asked our son, the Young Prince, the last scion of her father’s house, to put said shrimp in the freezer last night.
• He, being the obedient lad that he is, did indeed put the shrimp into the freezer. However, being a clever lad, he remembered that the last time his saintly mother put shrimp in the freezer, she immersed them in water before placing them in the freezer.
  • I just want to mention that in that instance, the shrimp were fresh, not frozen.
• Anyway, the Young Prince was tasked to remove a portion of the, remember now, previously frozen shrimp from the freezer so that his mother could cook them up this very evening.
  • This tasking was given directly to him by his mother. Mister Speaker, please let the record show that I had absolutely nothing to do with the events in question. I did not bring a humongous bag of shrimp into the home, I did not ask a teenager to put it away unsupervised, and I did not, I say again, did not tell him to get some of them out of the freezer.
• Imagine his surprise when the freezer bag, now full of somewhat frozen water and somewhat frozen shrimp, sloshed out of his hand and landed on the floor. The seal on the bag of holding burst, scattering shrimpy water and bits of sea meat all over.
  • Apparently, it takes quite a while for 2 gallons of water to freeze in your average household freezer, especially when you mix in whatever salt the shrimp added when they thawed out upon contact with unfrozen water.
• Being an industrious lad, he got the shrimp up and washed them off, so they’re not a total loss.
• He then had to call his mother, who was driving home at that exact moment, and explain the situation. Apparently, she was almost in tears at what had happened.
  • Lord, but I know that tone of voice she gets when she’s almost crying because of something stupid being done.
• Currently, he is cleaning up what remains of the mess, and praying for mercy.
• I told him that his best bet would be to pack a small bag, then head generally southwest in a random pattern. I would sacrifice myself to delay her, but could not promise how long it would take for me to die.
  • “You fool, she’ll kill us both!” was uttered several times during this discussion.
• He did not follow my advice. He will get no sympathy from me for what is about to happen to him. Yes, I have messed up that stupidly before, and no, she didn’t just let it go. The sprog is going to learn today what it means to mess up a woman’s plans.
• The only thing he’s got going for him is that while I am only related to her by marriage, he is related by blood. Perhaps that will be enough to save his hide and soul.
• I’m currently sitting in my office, typing away, preparing for the storm that’s brewing. I think I overheard her tell him over the phone that she’ll have to cook the whole bag to save it. I expect to overdose on seafood tonight, but there are worse things in life.
• So, in short, let us all raise our voices to request holy protection for my youngest son, because he’s darned sure gonna need it when his mother gets home.

Stuck in the hospital waiting room while the morning ‘news’ is on the TV.

They’ve sent someone to Morocco for some disaster tourism with a side of suffering voyeurism. Dude, every molecule of fuel, food, and water you waste for your vapid reportage is one less that could be used to do something useful. Put down the camera and pick up a shovel.

Flooding in Libya got about a minute of the same shot of a river of orange mud running between buildings. Nobody on site, so it must still be somewhat hazardous. I expect to see breathless reporting from the scene as soon as the bars and resorts open back up.

In contrast, the flooding in Boston got precisely 34 seconds of “Hey, the streets flooded, here’s a shot of a fire truck. Now to the weather girl to vapor lock over a hurricane that may or may not hit that area later this week. Here’s a bowl of spaghetti we’re calling a proposed storm track.”

The North Korean leader is on an armored train to Moscow, because you can’t randomly shoot peasants from an airplane. He’s reported to be going to make an arms deal with Russia, which shows just how low the Rodina has fallen when it comes to ammunition quality and quantity. Everyone seems shocked that dictators might help each other dictate. “North Korea will pay a price”. Dude, if letting literally millions of his people starve to death isn’t a deterrent and you’re not willing to bomb his stone-age country back to the, well, stone-age, not sure what price you expect them to pay.

They’ve gotten a ‘cave explorer’ out of that hole he got stuck in.
While I’m glad he’s OK, one has to ask why we are robbing future archeologists and anthropologists of the opportunity to discover a mysterious mummy buried deep inside the earth.

• Irish Woman has been canning. So far, we have apple sauce, apple-bourbon pie jam, baked apples, strawberry jam, cherry-lime jam, pineapple jam, mandarin-pineapple jam, peach jam, cherries, fruit cocktail, peaches, pineapple,and pickles.
  • Come the apocalypse, I’m going to be OK when it comes to vitamins and electrolytes. Just need to stock up on more peanut butter.
• Went to the woods this weekend to help with the Boy Scouts. The Young Prince is putting the finishing touches on getting his Life scout rank, and I think teaching knife safety this weekend was the last thing he needed. Now for Eagle.
• Not sure why, but I always sleep better in a tent on a cot than I ever do in a real bed.
• Had some time yesterday at camp, and decided to try my hand at something I haven’t done since I was in Scouts myself – lashing. Put together a nice little side table for the campfire out of twigs and bailing twine. Yeah, it wobbles a bit, but not bad for the first time in 40 years.
• Broke down and bought myself a hammock the other week. There’s just something nice about being suspended between heaven and earth, letting the breeze gently rock you back and forth, feeling all relaxed until the dog launches herself at you and lands on your sternum.
• I’ll be going under the knife again this week. This time, the arthritis has caused several toes on each foot to do things not covered under the manufacturers warrantee. Doctor Bonesaw will be removing a knuckle on each of three toes on both feet.
  • Recovery is 4 to 6 weeks, which is just enough time for me to get into the Halloween spirit as a bear with two sore feet.