Winter is indeed upon us, and the white death from the sky is making your roads…. interesting to drive on.  Please remember these things as you get in your go-go-mobile in the next few days:

• You are not any of the following people:
  • Jeff Gordon
  • Dale Earnhardt, Junior or Senior
  • Bo Duke
  • Luke Duke
  • Daisy Duke
• Your SUV is not a snowmobile
• Neither is your motorcycle
• When the road is dry, that means you can go at speeds approaching the speed limit
• When the road is wet, white, or shiny, that means you should slow the heck down.
• I don’t care if your car was built like a tank by Swedish craftsmen.  It’s still sucks on snow and you don’t know how to drive it.
• Pedestrians, ambulances, fire trucks, nuns, puppies, unicorns, and snow plows still have the right of way.
• Salt does precisely diddly over squat below a certain temperature.  Guess how cold it’s going to get tonight?

Paying heed to these simple facts will keep your car out of the ditch and my foot out of your ass.  In closing, I hope you stay safe, stay warm, and stay home.

• Had a wonderful Christmas with the family.
  • The day didn’t start until 8 AM.  Boo must have been really tired from Christmas Eve.
  • One problem with living so close to several extended families is that I’m not sure I have storage for all the stuff the kids got.
  • It took me exactly 8 seconds to figure out that the SpiderMan wrist-mounted web shooter was an outside toy.
  • Our Christmas tree has survived so far.  No cats have been found in its branches, the puppy has not tried to drink the water in the stand, and it has only teetered once.  That was when Moonshine was having a grand old time pouncing on wrapping paper and empty boxes and slid into it.
  • Dinner was roast beast.  Boo was especially excited when his aunt brought out Who Pudding for dessert.
    • Let him never say he wasn’t indulged.
• Best part of getting a beer making kit for Christmas?  Drinking enough beer so that you have empty bottles to fill with beer.
• Made the obligatory trip to Kroger before the storm hit this morning.
  • Nothing like going to the grocery on senior appreciation day, the day after Christmas, and the day of a snow storm all rolled into one.
  • True story: I saw two older ladies threatening grievous bodily harm upon each other over the last bag of a particular kind of apple.
  • I was told that the butcher at the store does not sell beef bones for soup.  What kind of butcher doesn’t have a femur or two lying around somewhere?
• Dinner tonight will be beef vegetable soup made with fresh vegetables and leftovers from last night, served with fresh whole wheat bread from our bread maker.
• Tally for the day – 2 loads of dishes, 4 loads of clothes, one room in the basement cleaned out, one set of shelves in the basement assembled and loaded up.
  • I guess I earned my keep.
  • Irish Woman is working today, so I thought I’d knock out a few things while she’s tied to the computer in the bedroom.
• Note to self – homemade soup left on low heat for four hours instead of medium will not cook the potatoes and celery properly.
• It is good to have tortillas and cheese available as backup dinner plans.

• Nothing says “I love you” like coming home on a cold morning to a hot breakfast and a warm bed.
• We all went to the movies today.
  • Girlie Bear saw The Hobbit with a school friend
  • We took Boo to see Monsters Inc. in 3D
  • Yes, I paid $10 a head to watch a movie we already own.
  • Boo has been cooped up in the house due to weather, and if I had hung out around the house, I would have slept all day and be up all night.
• Seeing the movie on the big screen highlighted just how much detail Pixar puts into the worlds their stories occupy.
  • It occurs to me that Pixar could put in a second money printing department in the basement if they took their expertise and started cranking out science fiction and adventure movies along with their kid-friendly content.
• We put the final touches on the Christmas tree tonight.  Ho freaking ho.
• Moonshine has officially moved out of being a fuzzy pup, and is now a ‘critter’.   He will attain ‘gosh darn dog’ status in a few months.
• I’m going to have to brave the shopping crowds tomorrow.  I thought I was done shopping, but then I remembered that I have to take Little Bear and Girlie Bear to get a present for their mother and I need some stocking stuffers.
  • This is going to well and truly suck.
• I’m going to sleep the sleep of the innocent tonight.  Woe betide the burglar who crosses my threshold and awakens me from my long winter’s nap.

• Trying to sleep while the kids are home from school and cooped up in the house was a futile exercise.
  • I’m not sure what they were doing all day, but laying on the bed in the basement study, listening to the thunder above my head in the living room, I imagined they were re-enacting the battle of Marston Moor, or possibly Zama, complete with elephants.
• I guess it was chilly in the house today.  I woke up with two cats cuddled up to whatever curve they could find on me.
• Last night I received something I’ve wanted for years:  a krumkake iron.  Needless to say, I spent an hour or so making crispy, sweet little cookies.
  • Yes, I indulged my inner Scandihoovian.  It’s wonderful.
• I’m enjoying my last night of graveyard shift tonight.  Something tells me I’m going to be exhausted by the time I get home.
• This is my coffee.  There is much like it, but only this coffee is mine.
• Had dinner tonight with my aunt and uncle who are driving south from North Dakota to spend Christmas with their kids and grandkids.
  • 3 decades is too long to go without seeing family.
  • Divorcing parents – You have no idea the amount of damage you can cause by uprooting your kids and keeping them away from your ex-spouse’s family.  Quit it.
  • I really need to go home to North Dakota, either on vacation or permanently.
• My aunt brought me a package of lefse.  I will have lefse for Christmas, and that is a good thing.
  • I’ve tried making my own, but it always comes out in a consistency somewhere between roofing shingle and SAPI plate.
• There are very few things on earth more funny than watching a movie, which was originally in English, was given Chinese subtitles, then had English subtitles added that are a translation of the Chinese subtitles. 
  • I really shouldn’t laugh.  Their English is better than my Mandarin.

• I got through the first night of night shift OK.  One pot of coffee and a liter of Coke Zero seemed to do the trick.
• Got about 4 hours of sleep this afternoon, and I hoped to catch a nap before I go to work.
  • Of course, hope is not a plan, so I am doing my shift tonight on a little less sleep than is considered optimal.
• When did the Air Force start promoting teenagers to Lieutenant Colonel.
  • Seriously, the guy I talked to today had to be no more than half my age.
• The ID card section had the picture from my 1996 ID card on file.  Unfortunately, they made me take another picture today.
  • Interestingly enough, I had more hair in 1996 with a white-sidewall high and tight than I do now.
• It must be Christmas time.  Irish Woman is sick with a virus and it looks like it’s going to make a complete sweep of the family.
• So far, I’ve dropped five daily reads, four podcasts, and a handful of people I read on Facebook.  Nothing like a crisis of conscience to get you to clean out your social media cupboard.
• Is it jut me, or is the BOLO series of books generally depressing?
• Nothing says “Merry Christmas!” like “Where Eagles Dare” and “Kelly’s Heroes”.
• I don’t agree with Navarette on his position on civil rights, but I appreciate his sentiments on common decency and wholeheartedly agree.
• I thought I’d have something healthy for dinner tonight, so I ordered a salad.  It’s still healthy if it’s got fried chicken, cheese, and ranch dressing on it, right?  I mean, it still had shaved carrots.

Question:  What do the following things have in common:

1. A book
2. A church
3. A gun
4. A lawyer

Answer:  A government that you allow to take one away from you will have the power to take them all away from you.

• I spent the day taking Girlie Bear to the state high school air rifle match over in Henderson.
  • She is one of three girls on a nine person team for her school.
• I had never seen the preparation that goes into a formal match before this morning.  It was interesting.
• I love to shoot, but watching other people shoot isn’t nearly as much fun.
  • Plus, you have to be quiet for almost 90 minutes during the match.
  • I’m glad I took a book.
• After seeing how much Girlie Bear liked shooting a precision air rifle at the match, I thought I’d look into getting her one for Christmas.
  • Holy !#$!@!, are you kidding me?
  • I don’t own any guns that cost that much, and I have a job!
  • Heck, the first two or three cars I owned didn’t cost that much!
  • She’s going to have to be happy with the official Red Ryder carbine action range model air rifle I got for her and Little Bear years ago.
• I was careful to stay away from the young man who Girlie Bear has asked to the JROTC formal.  I’ve been advised to not scare him away.
  • Although sitting directly behind him throughout the match and staring a hole in the back of his head would have been fun.
• I noticed that security around the school that hosted the match was quite tight.  I counted no fewer than 6 uniformed sheriffs deputies either guarding unlocked entrances or roving about the halls.
  • I guess someone was worried about copycats.
• I may not be the Real Slim Shady, but I am the Real Fat Pasty.
• I think I messed up when I didn’t have my coffee this morning.  By the time we started the 2 hour drive home, I was whipped.
• Dinner tonight was a cookout in the fireplace.  Irish Woman did it as a treat for Boo.
• Dessert was ‘smores in the fireplace.
  • My house smells like a cross between a barbecue grill and a sugar factory.
  • I had to caution Girlie Bear to not let her marshmallow catch fire.  I didn’t want to have to explain that to the insurance agent.

• I woke up like a bear with a sore head today, and things didn’t improve.
• The next grinning idiot who wishes me an unsolicited “Happy Holiday” is going to wish his father had gone out drinking the night he was conceived.
  • I too wish for peace on earth and over-consumption for all.  I just don’t need people being cheerful about it for a month straight, OK?
• Note to charities:  Just because I dropped $20 into your collection bin once upon a time doesn’t mean I want endless junk mail from you.  I’m about to start sending back your pre-paid envelopes full of torn-up solicitations.
• The puppy discovered that he likes peanut butter sandwiches today.
  • I hope he also learned about his own mortality too, because the next time he steals Irish Woman’s lunch, he may become a place mat.
  • Never saw a dog eat a sandwich that quickly, but it was funny to watch him try to get the peanut butter off of the roof of his mouth.
• While waiting out the two hours that Girlie Bear was spending with her mom this evening, I sat in the parking lot of a cheap grocery store.  While there I saw two screaming matches between its patrons, one of which resulted in both parties jumping in their cars and leaving squealing black marks on the pavement as they sped off into the night.  I also witnessed what appeared to be the local non-licensed pharmacist / distiller conducting commerce.  At least I assume that was what he was doing, but maybe he likes selling individual sandwich bags and quarts of distilled water.
  • I figured that I probably ought to go find somewhere else to be, so I did.
• Tonight the puppy learned that if you keep nipping at a bigger dog, eventually that bigger dog is going to take a chunk out of your butt.
  • He’s OK, but he decided it would be best to just go to bed in the aftermath.
  • The two older dogs are both pleading innocence.
• You know, I didn’t realize that Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog played for the Colts, but that’s what I saw on my television when I went to watch the game today.  Apparently my plans were overruled.
• It’s been raining for three days straight.  A few more days like this and I’ll need a whole bunch of gopher wood.

• Irish Woman learned last night that she cannot drink the way she did in college.  Or a decade ago.  Or last year.
• Being the designated driver is a lot more fun when you only live a couple of miles from the party.
• The smell of bacon frying seems to be a hangover cure.  I did not know that.
• Now I remember why almost of my shopping is done on-line.
• Moonshine the Wonder Pup has a standing vertical leap of 3.5 feet, which is enough to snatch a piece of pumpkin spice bread off the table and knock the canister of puppy food off the kitchen counter.  I must make a note of this.
• Of course Boo’s birthstone is a diamond. What was I thinking?
• I wasted spent about an hour with Irish Woman dragging retrieving all of her Christmas crap decorations from the attic.
  • That’s an hour of my life that I’ll never get back.
  • Bad thought to have when you’re at the bottom of the attic stairs and she’s at the top:  “I wonder if she could get out if I folded this thing up?”
    • I might have been able to get out of the state before she found a way down and began her quest for revenge.
• My plans to go to Knob Creek for a few hours today were scuttled by three days of rain.  Even though it was slowing down today, the range must have been a slimy mud hole.
• Irish Woman is preparing for the first Hobbit movie by re-watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Not sure how that will help, but I’m not going to complain about watching those movies again.

National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific

They fought together as brothers in arms; they died together and now they sleep side by side…To them, we have a solemn obligation — the obligation to ensure that their sacrifice will help make this a better and safer world in which to live. — Chester Nimitz