Tonight, Indulgodad bought cookies for a choir event, got Irish Woman to her hippie food commune meeting, got Girlie Bear to her choir soire, took Boo to get ice cream, and enjoyed ice cream and cartoons with my son. While we were getting ice cream, we got Irish Woman roses at the florist.

Yes, I am the champion of spoiling my family, the guardian of treats. I am Indulgodad!

• The true mark of an imbecile is that he never knows when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
• I may be wrong, but  my co-workers seem to be smoking patio furniture when they go outside.  The residue on their clothing is quite strong.
• I now remember why I wear headphones in the office most of the time.
• I found our manual on wiring in my easy chair when I sat down this evening.  Nothing good can come of this.
• It’s a testimony to Irish Woman’s cooking that a bowl of cold cereal and a microwaved pot pie just wasn’t cutting it for me today.
  • I’ve been spoiled lately on eggs and bacon made fresh by my loving wife every morning and a lunch of leftover dinner.
• Dinner tonight was comfort food.
  • Chicken noodle casserole makes the worst days a bit better.
• Today I successfully did a 15 minute task in an hour.
  • Apparently, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
• Moonshine has decided that spearmint bubble gum is his preferred treat and has started going to great lengths to get it.
• Irish Woman and I are in disagreement as to where the smartass gene in Boo comes from.
• I helped Girlie Bear set up her Army Class A uniform jacket tonight.
  • “Where does this go?” on a female uniform usually comes down to “Depends on how it hangs on your chest.  You don’t want it up on your collar-bone, but you also don’t want it dangling out into space.”

• Girlie Bear learned another of those “You can’t be up all night having fun and then expect to be fresh as a daisy at 8 AM” lessons.
  • It’s kind of nice to see her come to the conclusion that only crazy people try to do that all by herself.
• When you remind me that your company will be sending me a survey to get my opinions on your work, and the first word that goes through my mind is “douchebag”, that’s not a good thing.
• Working on Information Technology is a lot like Intelligence work:
  • You usually know what you think you know.
  • You sometimes know what you need to know.
  • You occasionally know what you’re expected to figure out.
  • Usually, you stumble across something you didn’t expect to find out.
    • Most of the time, it’s not a good thing.
  • Once in a blue moon, all of those things happen at once, and it’s a good thing.
    • Today was not one of those rare occasions.
• I’m not sure what was going on, but when asked if he wanted anything for his bath, Boo requested sunblock and parachutes.
• I could set my clock by Irish Woman and her ‘need’ to be outside and digging.
  • Last week of March is always “Let’s get out there and tear things up!” weekend at our house.
• April showers may bring May flowers, but March rain and sleet bring extra work to get the garden in during April and May.
  • I’m a good two weeks behind schedule on the fence and new garden beds built because some days it’s nice out and the next day it’s February again.
• The new garden beds are designed.
  • As of now, the design is simple, sane, and relatively inexpensive.
  • I’ve found a way that I can build these and not have to dig and move half a ton of red clay soil.
  • We’ll see how long that lasts.

• I saw a Tesla car on the road today for the first time.
  • It’s so nice to see someone supporting the Kentucky coal industry.
• Never pass up an opportunity to have a good breakfast.
  • A lot of people were nibbling at granola bars this morning while I tucked into a big breakfast burrito.
• Things I love to hear during the morning training briefing #121 – “This is the last day for this, and we don’t want to turn in ammunition, so shoot all this up, OK?”
• To paraphrase Greg Hahn, today I tried to be swift, silent, and deadly.  Unfortunately, I was slow, noisy, and stupid.
  • Sneaky bastards shot me before I even knew they were there.
• Girlie Bear is at a sleepover with five or six of her closest friends.  I thanked the mother of the family that’s hosting her and said I’m glad it’s not me doing it.
  • Seriously, I’d rather run at men with guns and flash-bang grenades than spend a night locked in a house with a bunch of teenagers.

• Jihad Joe is American’s volunteer force of poorly trained, but highly motivated, role players.  It is made up of retirees, IT geeks, homemakers, and students.  Its mission:  To train America’s fighting men and women by being living, breathing pop-up targets.
• On a night like tonight, happiness is a warm machine gun.
• If you’re wearing so much clothing that you’re warm when you’re standing still, then you’re going to overheat when you start running around and shooting at people.
• The people who design and set up urban warfare training scenarios are evil geniuses.

• It was warm enough yesterday that I sweated a little while I was working in the yard.  This morning it was raining ice.
  • In 24 hours, we’ve had sunshine, rain, snow, ice, and a mix of all three kinds of precipitation.
  • Kentucky weather:  The only constant is change.
• The advantage of doing your planning as far ahead of time as possible is that when someone asks that you do your work weeks ahead of time, you’re pretty much ready to go.
• Stopped by the local SuperMegaShoppingConsortium today, and just because I’m a starry-eyed optimist, I buzzed their sporting goods aisle.
  • They had a nice assortment of hunting rifles, including a Savage in .308 that whispered sweet nothings to me.
    • Like I could find .308.
  • They only had two shotguns.
    • Both were camouflaged and had turkey chokes on them.
  • The ammunition cabinet was picked pretty clean, except that it had three boxes of Tula .380.  I immediately put out an alert on Facebook.
  • I thought about buying them for a moment, but I don’t have a .380 and they would have been trade goods.
    • Knowing how short ammunition is right now, I just wouldn’t have felt right buying the last three boxes if I couldn’t have used them.
  • I’m sure someone will give them a good home.
• We gave all the stuffed animals a good run through the washing machine today.
  • Some of them were a bit…. crunchy.
  • Apparently Boo isn’t the only one who likes to cuddle up to them and Moonshine drools.
• The yearly period of non-productivity has begun.
  • Louisville is a number one seed in the NCAA squeaky round ball tournament.
  • The Kentucky Derby festival starts about a week after the tournament ends.
  • If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to get something accomplished right around mid-May.

• Boo spent 10 minutes in the tub tonight making up his own superhero theme song.  
  • Something about monsters and bad guys and lightning, but with a pretty good bass line.
• All of the electrical work in the bathroom is complete.  I wash my hands of the project.
  • Actually, I usually wash my hands in the project, but you get my meaning.
  • If you turn on the lights above the sink, the lights on the exhaust fan, and the light in the closet, there don’t seem to be any shadows in my bathroom.
  • Note to self – Irish Woman gets jumpy when I touch all of the live wires on the three way light switch all at once.  Stop doing that.
• Hint to hardware stores – Put the fencing material in the same department as the fencing.
  • It took me 30 minutes to find rigid metal fencing this morning.
  • It was all the way across the store in the garden center.
  • I have an extra 25 feet or so of the stuff now.  I wonder what Irish Woman will dream up to make good use of it?
• I gave up today and admitted that I’m going to be busy doing projects for the foreseeable future.
  • I did the math and figured out that it was cheaper to buy outdoor screws by the thousands than to buy them by the pound.  I save by buying bulk, and save on time and gas.
  • Of course, I’ll have to buy beer and such in bulk too, because runs to the hardware store are a great excuse to stop off for a six-pack.
• Built an enclosure around the stubs of Irish Woman’s baby blueberry bushes today.  Apparently one of the pets (cough Moonshine cough) thinks they taste delicious.
  • Sometimes I think he’d make a good throw rug, but those moments are becoming rarer and rarer.
• Made the mistake of letting the kids watch Pocahontas this evening over pizza.
  • They should have subtitled that movie “White Guilt”.
  • I’d call this movie ham-handed, but that would be an insult to swine.
  • The scene where I just had to walk away was when the Indian male love interest dude tries to knife John Smith for kissing Pocahontas.  One of Smith’s friends shoots him with a matchlock (seriously dude, when you see someone fiddling with the magic boomstick that you’re so impressed with and then pointing it at you, just leave).  Pocahontas is all taken aback that her friend got shot while trying to kill someone and starts screaming “You killed him!”.
  • I got “The Look” when I walked away saying “Well, maybe he needed killing!”.
  • If John Smith were half the man that Han Solo was, he would have asked Pocahontas if she’d preferred to watch him get sliced open like a cantaloupe.
• When asked by Irish Woman what I thought about planting more fruit bushes around the property, I replied that she could plant whatever she wanted wherever she wanted as long as my list of things to build didn’t get longer, it didn’t hurt the utilities, and it was neither immoral or illegal.
  • See? I can be reasonable.
• Patience – Smiling peacefully at the nice old lady who is arguing with the clerk at the gas station about her lottery tickets when all you want to do is pay for your soda and ask for the key to the men’s room.
• I was so funky from crawling around in the attic and working outside today that when I rubbed my forehead, I came back with crumbles of crud.
  • I always thank the Lord that I live in a place where hot water comes out of the tap, not off the stove.

• If Senator Feinstein doesn’t want to feel patronized, then maybe she ought to know what she’s talking about.
• After the latest fiasco on a cruise ship, I’m leaning toward renting a beach house for a week instead.
  • Of course, I’d prefer to rent a cabin on a lake in the woods, but you do what you have to do for your loving spouse.
• I missed being a witness to a semi going over on its side by about two minutes this morning.
  • Sequence of images – black lines on the pavement, broken glass on the pavement, semi-truck and trailer on the pavement, all within 100 feet.
  • The driver looked OK as he came out of the cab.
  • The truck and trailer?   Yeah, not so much.
• 2/3 of the lights in the bathroom are now working.
  • One hour to find a loose connection.  That’s a new personal best.
  • I also need to find my smallest screwdriver so I can change the battery in my multimeter.
• Thought for the KCR Machine Gun Shoot –
  • The range has a breakfast buffet on Saturday morning starting at 7 AM.
  • There is a Cracker Barrel about 20 minutes from the range.
  • Would everyone prefer to meet at the range and eat what they serve or meet at the Cracker Barrel?  If we eat at the range, we will be there for the opening ceremony and probably miss most of the initial parking crowd.
  • Weather permitting, of course.
  • If we meet at KCR, I suggest gathering at the flag pole.
  • The range sells hot dogs and such for lunch, but it’s going to be kind of hard to talk once the range goes hot.
  • Those who think they’re going to make it on Saturday, April 13, please leave me your preferences in comments.
• I’m already starting to schedule work for the weekends in April.
• Irish Woman needs a break.
  • She was home alone with Boo yesterday when he wasn’t feeling well and she had to work.
  • She was home alone with Boo today for half the day when the plumbing at his school developed a rather catastrophic leak (Outside, thank goodness).  Yes, she had to work today as well.
  • Either she’s stressed out or she’s been bitten by a very powerful werewolf
  • Darn it, I’m out of silver bullets.  I wonder if bi-metal jacket is just as good?
• Ever notice there are never tee-shirts for SIGINTers?  There are tee-shirts for infantry, armor, aviation, artillery, and just about everything else.  Heck, there’s even a tee-shirt for interrogators now.  But there’s never one for the poor guy who walks all over the mountains with a PRD-11?
• There isn’t a much better way to end the day than sitting and watching old episodes of the Muppet Show with your four-year-old.

• One should not use the word “monkey” and “football” when describing someone else’s project plan.
• You leave an Irish Woman alone with lumber and tools, and you come home to a new set of shelves installed in the bathroom.
• My test results from my physical came back.
  • At least physically, I’m normal.
• I had an idea for a fictional story entitled “Valley of the Fudds” today.  I may have to put some work into that.
• I have decided that I do not like the new car smell anymore.  The smell of solvents and paint just seems to turn my stomach.
  • I’m too used to driving vehicles that smell of coffee and old oil.
• The cost for the picket fence I’m going to put up once the weather turns in the next week or two is going to be around $500, plus my time.
  • To put that in perspective, I only paid $200 for my first automobile.
• I wish the weather would make up its mind.  Every joint in my body is throbbing, and every time I move it sounds like I stepped on a section of bubble wrap.