Sorry for the light content the past week or so.  I’ve actually written quite a few things, but I deleted them, the digital version of tossing your half-assed attempt at a fantasy novel in the fireplace, because they went from semi-funny rant into bitter diatribe.  I got rid of them because, to be perfectly honest,  there are enough bitter diatribes out there already, and I don’t want to be part of the problem.  If I can’t say anything nice, or at least wittily sarcastic, then I don’t say anything at all.

Here’s what I spared you from:

• Thoughts on the loss of Ken Cuccinelli and the victory of Chris Christie, and what this may mean for conservative candidates in 2014 and 2016.
• The difference between a social conservative and a fiscal conservative, and why the Republican leadership seems to be terrified of either one.  The term “phony boloney jobs” kept going through my mind as I wrote it.
• The opinions of a college professor from Maryland, and how I wish he would explain the irony of a descendant of African slaves complaining about the militarism of the nation that freed them from their chains through military force.
• The ‘bullying’ behavior of a man paid millions to play a child’s game, and how it casts a bad light on football in general.
• Obamacare in general, and the strange way that the media seems to be turning on him, at least a little.  Hint:  He doesn’t matter electorally anymore, so it’s safe to beat up on him a tad.  Plus, it paves the way for their next chosen candidate to distance herself from the administration.
• Why radio program directors who change three of the six radio stations I have programmed into my truck’s radio over to 24 hour a day Christmas music almost two months before the fat man comes around with his sack of loot ought to be dragged through the streets and left to rot in the public square.
• Life, the universe, and everything.

I’m going into my dark and bitter time of year, but  I’ll try to keep things light, or at least civil.

• Every time I try to get out, I just get drug back in .
  • I only wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.” – Morticia Addams
• Girlie Bear thought I was weird when I was singing the refrain to this song in Russian.
  • The things you figure out when you’re bored and surrounded by language geeks.  We used to sing REM songs in Russian too.
• Crash has been removed from the cone of shame.  He spent about an hour getting his hair just right, then proceeded to lose his little mind for the rest of the day.
• I took the plunge and put a new shotgun on layaway.
  • A basic Mossberg 590A1 will be joining the family shortly.
  • This may be the gun that forces me to get a second, larger gun safe.
• Note to interface designers – changing the name and placement of a button or menu choice just because you can is going to cause unspeakable things to happen to you in the afterlife, and I hope I’m there to witness it.
• Boo started sounding out words today.  I guess the days of spelling out things we don’t want him to understand will soon come to an end.
  • Time to teach Irish Woman another language.
  • Kentucky doesn’t count as another language, although that point may be arguable.
• Boo announced yesterday that he is a Kentucky Wildcats fan.  His mother never looked so proud.
• There’s a special kind of parental love that gets you out of the easy chair and out into the dark night to deliver cookie dough orders.

Oh, Irish Woman, they’re playing our song!

• It’s amazing how much time a smart, motivated, efficient 15-year-old girl can take to clean her room when she’d rather be doing something else.
  • I shouldn’t complain.  The things she would rather have been doing was to do her homework and read “Brave New World“.  It could be a lot worse.
• I think I found the culprit for the stealing of my debit card information back at the beginning of the summer.
  • Harbor Freight sent me a nice letter that amounted to “We got hacked back in May, and we’re pretty sure they stole your credit card information.  You might want to check your account and monitor your credit rating.”
  • No way to tell them that, yes, I believe that their incident was the cause of some inconvenience to me, nor was there an offer to pay for credit monitoring for some period of time.
  • Guess I’ll be paying in cash if I ever go back to Harbor Freight.
• One of my regular FM stations is dead to me now.  It’s two days after Halloween and they’ve gone to 24 hour a day Christmas music.
• I’m thinking of doing a series of reviews of local coffee shops in Louisville, now that Starbucks is definitely off the menu.  Louisville people, any recommendations other than Heine Brothers?
• I’m proud of Boo.  When given the chance to pick out a movie for his living room camp-out this evening, he chose Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang over something from Disney.
• It’s a good night for a cold beer, a warm fire, and nodding off in my chair.

• Technischesicherheitschadenfreude – That unmistakable feeling when people are forced to do the security enhancement that you suggested they do almost a decade ago, but they didn’t.
• Just a note of caution – documents created and/or saved using Microsoft Word 2013 are not necessarily compatible with earlier versions of Office.
• It’s nice to see something that you’ve been working on for over a year come to completion.
• I’m happy to report that Boo and Irish Woman’s niece were the most polite children out trick-or-treating tonight.
• Boo pounded the pavement in search of candy until he was staggering, but he made it.
• Letting Boo have a few pieces of candy and then watching him shotgun two orders of french fries and a small banana milkshake might not have been the wisest thing I’ve ever done as a parent.
  • He’s OK, but it was touch and go there for a couple of minutes.
  • I know, I know, bad daddy, but I have to be indulgent every so often.
• Crash went to the vet today to get fixed, and is home resting semi-comfortably.
  • He does not like the cone of shame, but it’s only for a few days.
  • He was talking up a storm at the nice ladies at the vet.  Apparently they’re not used to Siamese there.
• A thought occurred to me today:  If the President asserts the power to sign orders authorizing the killing, without benefit of trial, of an American citizen who is accused of taking up arms against the United States, could an argument be made that he has created an unconstitutional bill of attainder?
  • If so, could the resulting demise of said citizen be therefore considered a “high crime” that constitutes grounds for impeachment?
  • Related thought –  Could a just legal proceeding occur in our system if the accused is hiding out with his jihadi buddies in some third world craphole, but he has a lawyer who is able to put up a vigorous defense on his behalf?

• There are few things I am worse at than spackling and mudding dry wall, but one of them is painting walls.
  • Guess what I did today!
• I made banana bread last night.
  • I had a long, heart-to-heart talk with Moonshine about the dire consequences of another incident.
• Some days you realize you’re just in the wrong profession.
• Apparently there’s a bit of a storm coming through the area tomorrow.  I’ll have to make sure to have safety lines and rescue boats ready for the trick-or-treaters.
• Irish Woman asked me what I’d like to do for our anniversary.
  • I guess suggesting that our weekly evenings at the grocery store counted as a date wasn’t what she was expecting.
• Remember, gentlemen, it’s always best to just admit fault and move on, and usually cheaper.
• It’s called a dog’s life for a reason.
  • Moonie and Blue got their dinner and a pat-pat, and are now sacked out in the living room.
  • I feel safe at night knowing that these two slugs are there to break the neck of a burglar as he trips over their sleeping carcasses.

• Everything in Virginia was more expensive than it is in Kentucky, except for gasoline.
• Virginia politics is almost as dirty and mean as Kentucky politics.
  • If the attack ads actually mentioned the marital status of the target of the attack, then they might pull ahead in the 100 meter mudslinging event.
• Had an excellent dinner with OldNFO and one of my co-workers on Friday night.
  • I was wondering if my partner would have much to talk about with NFO and me, but little did I know that he was an old school member of the naval aviation mafia, so the conversation flowed easily.
• If the worst thing that happens all day is that someone else puts a few tons of cargo in the wrong order and has to rearrange things with three heavy fork lifts, it’s a good day.
• It’s always good to work with motivated professionals.
  • Of course, they were motivated to get the job done so they could get home to watch college football, but whatever works.
• After leaving work last night, I had a huge choice to make.
  • I could go back to my hotel, take a shower, put on nice clothes, and go out for a nice dinner, or I could go to Waffle House, wash my hands in the men’s room, and have breakfast for dinner.
  • In unrelated news, I realized last night that I like Waffle House’s all-the-way hashbrowns and biscuits and gravy at 10 o’clock at night.
• For once, the TSA at Norfolk International Airport was friendly, professional, and just seemed to want to get people through the checkpoint.
  • Must have been the pink rubber gloves they were wearing.
• If you need another reason that all of the new security measures are kabuki theater, here’s one:  This morning, when the line to get through the body scanners or get patted down was 30 people deep and growing, the TSA fired up the old walk-through metal detector and was putting 3/4 of us through it.
  • If it’s good enough for crunch time, it’s good enough for every time.
  • Gee, I wonder if the billions we paid for millimeter-wave scanners and chemical sniffers was worth it?
• It is a good thing that the ground crew noticed the fuel leak on the engine during pushout from the gate this morning.
  • It’s those abrupt, fiery stops in sub-divisions and cornfields that tend to make days more interesting than they need to be.
  • We went from “Going back to the gate” to “Get the heck off my aircraft” to “Stand in this line and we’ll try to find a new flight for you” to “Get on the airplane because we fixed it.  We’ll  do our best to make sure you don’t spend the night in Baltimore International”.
  • I had a couple of hours layover in Baltimore, so I was OK.  A few people on the flight weren’t sure if they’d make it home today.
• The person that comes up with a device that causes the eardrums of small children to painlessly pop when air pressure changes will be a billionaire and Nobel Prize winner in about 8 minutes.

Today is the anniversary of charge of the British light cavalry at the Battle of Balaclava on October 25, 1854.  It was taught to me as an object lesson in always making sure to understand orders and always make my orders clear.

The Charge of the Light Brigade, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

• Someday, I hope to write fiction half as well as my friends.
• It got cold enough that I had to scrape ice off the truck window yesterday.  Guess fall has arrived.
• I’m not sure if we have a mouse or if the kitten has developed a taste for tubers, but we lost two small potatoes off the kitchen counter last night, and the dogs were locked out of the room.
• My doctor decided on which of two options she wanted to prescribe for my arthritis, and has begun the fight with my insurance company to get it.
  • Many will be the adventures as I and a doctor’s office manager make phone calls, send in documentation, and wait for the final decision of Those Who Will Not Be Rushed and Prixthor, Denier of Coverage.
• There are few sensations in the human experience as wonderful as when you remove leather footgear and your socks after wearing them for 15 hours.
• Things you love to hear from your children #3187:  I’m going to get started on this weekend’s homework so I don’t have to rush.
• You know the small male Siamese is making life difficult for his housemates when the large female Siamese climbs up in your lap and looks you in the eye and has a chat with you while he’s trying to chew on her tail.