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Coming Soon

Saw these previews today at the theater.  Looks like a mixed bag.

  • Pacific Rim – Battleship meets Godzilla meets Transformers meets Independence Day.  Probably pass, although the visual effects look really good.
  • Beautiful Creatures – Someone owes Anne Rice a check because they’ve been ripping off The Mayfair Witches series.  A teenage witch needs to decide if she wants to be a good witch or a bad witch while she deals with raging hormones.  A bunch of her female relatives act like they need to have a house dropped on them, and her father seems to be the guy behind the green curtain.  Note to filmmakers:  Putting the entire rough plotline in the preview only convinces me that I’m not your target demographic.
  • The Lone Ranger – Johnny Depp as Tonto?  Seriously?  He’s as Native American as I am.  Granted, he’s a talented actor, but to me it’s a bit of a stretch.  Of course, I’ll probably end up seeing this one, seeing as how it’s produced by the House of the Rat, and we are in thrall to them.  I will, however, give bonus points if Keith Richards makes a cameo appearance.
  • Promised Land – Family farms good!  Failing rural agricultural communities great!  Fracking bad!  Corporations bad!  Ecoterrorism and extremism wonderful!  Dieing cold and in the dark even better!  If you see this movie, please stop reading my blog.
  • Warm Bodies – ZombieLand meets Twilight.  Seriously, are so many of America’s young women necrophiliacs?  Not even going to entertain seeing this, and I shall shun those who do.
  • Oblivion – Tom Cruise is a repairman for the robots that are taking care of the world after all that remains of humanity after an alien attack has left.  He’s about to leave himself when Morgan Freeman shows up and screws up either his plan or the plans of some nefarious plot.  Looks like a good premise. I might have seen this if Tom Cruise wasn’t in it.
by daddybear71 on December 16, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on December 16, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/12/16/coming-soon-5/

Coming Soon

Here are the movies that were previewed before our film today:

  • Girl Versus Monster – I paid $28 for our tickets and and other $20 for sodas and popcorn, and I got to sit through a commercial for a Disney channel made-for-TV movie.  Apparently one of the pop tarts that has a series on the channel of the billionaire rat is a monster hunter, and we should all watch her movie about it when it premieres this month, or at least catch it on one of the approximately 10^28 times it will air before Halloween.  Someone at the House of Mouse owes Larry Correia a check.
  • Rise of the Guardians – Looks very pretty, but is the world really ready for a sword-wielding Santa with a Russian accent and a tacticool Easter Bunny from Australia?  We’ll probably be going to see this one, if for no other reason than it’s a Christmas movie and I love my wife enough to suffer through Christmas movies.
  • Despicable Me II – We love the original, the trailer, in which the minions sing “Barbara Ann”, was good enough to get me to want to see it, and we have a small boy whom we spoil terribly.  Yeah, we’ll be paying to see this one.
  • Wreck it Ralph – Disney film about a video game bad guy from a 1980’s arcade game that decides that there’s more to life than knocking down buildings so the hero has something to fix.  The trailer had more references to and characters from classic video games than a con.  We’ll probably go see this one as a treat.
  • Smurfs II – If someone wants to burn the truck that delivers this movie to the theaters, I’ve got a spare can of gas you can use.
  • Here Comes The Boom – An out of shape middle aged high school teacher tries to raise $50,000 to save the arts programs at his school by getting his ass beat in MMA competitions.  Pass, unless Selma Hayek, who plays the female love interest, chips in by becoming a stripper.
by daddybear71 on October 13, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on October 13, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/10/13/coming-soon-4/

Movie Review – Hotel Transylvania

We took Boo and Girlie Bear out to see Hotel Transylvania this afternoon.  It’s a classic story of an over-protective father, a rebellious teenage daughter, a slacker boyfriend, and a hotel full of monsters and ghouls.  Hijinks ensue, and we all learn a valuable lesson about how people are people and that true love conquers all.  Queue really bad musical number just prior to the closing credits.

The movie centers around the life of Count Dracula, voiced by Adam Sandler, and his daughter Mavis, voiced by Selena Gomez.  Dracula has constructed the titular hotel as a refuge for his daughter and other monsters to get away from the crowds of pitchfork and torch bearing humans that dog their steps.  Mavis is becoming an adult at the tender age of 118, and is anxious to get out and see the world beyond the hotel’s walls.  Enter Jonathan, a slacker who’s bumming around the world with his backpack and a bad haircut.  The Count tries to get rid of Jonathan without killing him, but unfortunately for the Prince of the Undead, Jonathan and Mavis hit it off.

If you’re a fan of Adam Sandler’s old bits where he voiced an old Jewish guy, you’ll like Count Dracula.  Honestly, I’m not a Sandler fan, but he didn’t take things too far in this one, so his character was enjoyable.  The other actors made for a good ensemble cast, with voices coming from the likes of Kevin James and David Spade for some of the other monsters.

The animation was pretty good.  It wasn’t quite as good as I would have expected if this had been a Pixar movie, but it wasn’t too cartoony.   The various monsters and how they moved and interacted was extremely well done.  The sight gags in the movie were outstanding.

The music in the movie was understated and did a good job highlighting the moods in the story.  There was a horrible rap/dance sing-along at the end, but it was more of a way to wrap up the movie than as a device to move along a story.

Was this a great movie?  No.  Was it a good movie?  Depends on what you’re looking for.  It was a fun piece of bubble gum to chew on for a while and then let go.  It was worth the price of admission, and Irish Woman and Girlie Bear seemed to enjoy it more than I did.  Boo sat through it, although he did jump a few times at some of the more sudden gags.  Girlie Bear said she enjoyed this more than she did the other Halloween cartoon on the market, Frankenweenie.

I wouldn’t recommend paying full price to see this one, but it was worth a matinée.  However, if you miss this one, you won’t regret it for the rest of your life.

by daddybear71 on October 13, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie, Review

Posted by daddybear71 on October 13, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/10/13/movie-review-hotel-transylvania/

Bambi Lessons

It’s kind of a gloomy, wet day, so I’m letting Boo watch television instead of go outside. Disney is showing “Bambi”, which I haven’t watched in years.  Here are some lessons I see in it:

  • Baby animals are cute
  • Winter is fun
  • Never cross an open area without proper surveillance and overwatch
  • Owls are crabby bastards, but I can identify with them
  • Women can make you act really stupid
  • Always leave a fire guard or douse your campfire

Seriously, it’s a good movie.  Yes, it kicked the antropomorphization of forest animals that Beatrix Potter started into high gear, and every year I get the “But you’re going to kill Bambi!” speech from those who don’t like hunting, but it has good messages about friendship and family.

 

by daddybear71 on August 17, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on August 17, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/17/bambi-lessons/

Movie Review – Brave

Yesterday afternoon was hot and muggy, which to me says “Let’s stay inside.”  Rather than stay home and watch human one trick ponies run around in a circle, we decided to go to a movie.  After much debate and horse trading, we settled on going to see the new Pixar movie, Brave.

Brave tells the story of Merida, a medieval Scottish princess who has a hard time dropping her tomboy habits and growing up to be the future lady her mother wants her to be. When pushed to marry, she creates havoc that threatens to tear apart her father’s kingdom.  In typical Disney manner, her pluck, intelligence, love, and all that come together to help her make it all right in the nick of time.

If you’ve seen The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Mulan, or any of the other Disney movies where a young girl is resisting fitting into her socially accepted role, this should all feel very familiar.  That being said, the movie grabbed Girlie Bear in the first five minutes and didn’t let go until the credits were rolling, so if the target audience was girls and young woman, Pixar seems to have hit the mark.

Boo, on the other hand, lost interest about halfway through the movie.  There just isn’t that much for little kids, especially young boys, in the movie that you would normally find in a Disney production.  There are three young boys in the movie, but they have non-speaking roles and only serve as comic relief a few times in the movie.  The movie has many funny moments, but it is the kind of humor that appealed to Irish Woman and myself, not our four year old boy.  An older boy might have gotten more of the jokes and enjoyed some of the action scenes, but that’s going to be a judgement call on the part of the parents. I honestly don’t know if a girl under the age of six or so would have enjoyed it more.

But don’t get me wrong, this is a very good movie.  It clocks in at 100 minutes, but doesn’t feel like it due to excellent story and pacing.  The voice acting is also excellent, and the characters mesh together to tell a fairy tale about family and duty.  Like I said, there is a lot of comedy in the movie, and the father character, voiced by Billy Connelly, was my favorite.  That’s probably because I could identify with him, being a semi-barbarian myself.

Like all Pixar movies, this film is beautiful.  The background scenery and the non-human characters were as close to photorealistic as I have ever seen, especially the bears that play a major role in the plot.  In fact, they were so realistic that the slightly cartoonish human characters stuck out a bit.  I think Pixar has done an excellent job in not making their characters look weird by trying to make them appear real, but the difference between the human characters and the world in which Pixar places them is becoming more and more apparent.  Pretty soon, if Pixar wants to tell a story in a realistic world, they’re going to have to find a path through the Uncanny Valley.

Overall, I’d give this movie a 3 or 4 stars out of 5, and would recommend it to families with girls and possibly older boys.  The characters and story are engaging enough for adults too, and the beauty of the movie is enough for me to recommend seeing it on the big screen.

by daddybear71 on August 5, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie, Review

Posted by daddybear71 on August 5, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/05/movie-review-brave/

Coming Soon

Took the family to the movies this afternoon, and here are some of the movies that either had previews or posters.

  • The Who: Quadrophenia – The Complete Story – If you’re a Who fan, this is probably the biggest behind the music film you’ll ever see.  Looks interesting, but I’m not paying theater prices for it.
  • Looper – Bruce Willis learns that you shouldn’t fool with Father Time.  Looks like another Bruce Willis movie that I’ll watch on cable.
  • Dredd 3D – The trailer looks really cool, might spring for a matinee just to see the special effects on the big screen.  But I’m not getting my hopes up for yet another comic book movie.
  • Anchorman 2 – Didn’t like the original, won’t see the sequel.  Seriously, am I the only person in North America that thinks Will Ferrell must have sold his soul or something to get people to watch his dreck?
  • The Campaign – Another Will Ferrell movie.  Seriously, does he have pictures of a studio exec banging a goat on the desk of the owner or something?  Pass and look disapprovingly  upon the theater for showing it.
  • The Watch – Neighborhood schlubs form a neighborhood watch against the forces of interstellar evil.  Pass.  First reason:  Ben Stiller.  Second reason: the gun guy is portrayed as a cop wanna-be with anger issues who still lives at home with his mom.  Why pay to be insulted?
  • Dragons:  Riders of Berk – An upcoming TV show based on “How to Train Your Dragon”.  Looks like something we’ll enjoy, but I can watch commercials for TV shows at home for free.
  • Katy Perry 3D – Katy Perry wants everyone to know that she’s just another girl, and that she can identify with all of the teenagers who come to her shows.  I’m sure she can, provided that they’re a rich, pretty, brunette who likes to grind on-stage and talk about her Christian upbringing.  Pass.
  • The Hobbit:  An Unexpected Journey – Can’t hardly wait for December.  Seriously, if the hair on the back of your neck doesn’t stand up when you hear the dwarves singing in the trailer, turn in your nerd card.
  • Oz, The Great and Powerful – The back story of the Wizard of Oz.  Not too big on prequels, but this one looks intriguing.
  • Despicable Me II – Loved the original, hopeful for the sequel.  Definitely going to be taking Boo to see this one.
  • Ice Age:  Continental Drift – This one was playing in the theater next door, and was the close second in our list of movies we wanted to see.  Loved the first two, so we’ll probably end up owning this one.
  • Wreck-It Ralph – A video game bad guy decides to chuck it and find a new game after 30 years in the arcade.  The trailer was chock full of cultural references, so if you grew up with an Atari 2600, NES, Genesis, Playstation, or Wii, you might enjoy this one.
  • Finding Nemo 3D – Re-release of the hit from a decade ago.  We own the DVD, but we’ll probably end up taking the kids to see this one.  I wonder if this is how the animation studios are going to milk the cow for a while?  Re-releasing a 3D version of a CGI movie has to be cheaper than making a new one.
  • Monsters University – A sequel to the hit from a decade ago.  We love the original, so my hopes are up for this one.  I hope it doesn’t become one of those sequels that sane people refuse to acknowledge exist.

One final thought for the owners of movie theaters – I am sick unto death of paying $8 a person for matinee tickets, plus $10+ for a $1.50 worth of popcorn and soda, then having to sit through 15 minutes of commercials, especially for cable TV shows.  If I want to know what Ted Turner is putting on his networks, I’ll stay home and do it for free.  You’re already bending me over the stump to get my seat in the seat.  The least you could do is not try to get me to stay home and watch TV.

 

 

by daddybear71 on August 4, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on August 4, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/08/04/coming-soon-3/

Movie Review – Ted

Alternate title – Seth McFarland owes me $22 for the cost of my tickets.

Let me preface this by saying that I didn’t go into this movie expecting high art.  I’ve seen enough of McFarland’s work on TV to know that his humor is low-brow, but I enjoyed it enough to think I would enjoy the movie.

Yeah, maybe not so much.

Plot Summary – At Christmas 1985, an 8-year-old boy gets a teddy bear as a present.  The teddy bear magically comes to life and is his friend forever.  Flash forward almost three decades and “Ted” is a threadbare loser who crashes on the now 35 year old’s couch, helps him get in trouble for blowing off work to get high and watch “Flash Gordon”, and gets in the way of him doing adult things like having a serious girlfriend.  Throw in a few twists and a predictable villain, and that’s about it.  By the end of the movie, the main human character learns a valuable life lesson, gets the girl, and the loser friend is still a part of his life.

If that plot sounds familiar, it ought to.  But in this case, it doesn’t work half as well as that cineturd did.  Seriously, when I say that a Jack Black movie was better than your picture, you have seriously missed the mark.  It’s a bromance movie with a CGI teddy bear, and a pretty poor one at that.  Honestly, if you haven’t figured this out 1/4 of the way through the movie, you need to stop hitting the bong.  People might think you’re slow.

One other issue I had with the plot was the pacing.  The film clocked in at just shy of two hours, and that’s way too long for the premise.  Basically, you had the first half hour with plot exposition and character development and the last half hour with telling the end of the story.  That hour in between was pretty much scene after scene of “guy done messed up and his girlfriend is pissed”.  Taking about 30 minutes of that out would have made this movie a bit more engaging and wouldn’t have detracted from the story.

Of course, I have to talk about the humor.  If you’ve watched McFarland’s work on television, you know what you’re in for with this one: fart and poop jokes, crude sexual, drug, racial, and whatever category references, and pratfalls.  Don’t get me wrong, some of the jokes worked really well, even if you take away the shock factor.  The problem is that they are laced together with scene after scene of attempts to be humorous or smart that fail.  Basically, take the jokes that work from “Family Guy” and “American Dad”, remove the FCC censors, and pad them with 90 minutes of the jokes that didn’t work, and that’s the humor in “Ted”.

One bright spot in this was the acting.  The main human character is played by Mark Wahlberg, and he does a great job playing a 35-year-old man-child from Boston who desperately wants more in life than sitting on the couch, getting high, and watching “Flash Gordon”, but still wants to sit on the couch, get high, and watch “Flash Gordon”.  Mila Kunis plays his girlfriend, and to be honest, her character was my favorite in the movie.  She’s the only normal one in the entire cast. There are minor parts and cameos done by other actors I like, and they all play their parts very well, even if they are cardboard cutouts from the “Let’s Make a Movie” coloring book.  Heck, even the CGI bear, voiced by McFarland, has good moments.

I can’t say that I recommend this movie.  It might be funnier if I wasn’t sober when I see it, but to be honest, it wouldn’t be that much funnier.  Unfortunately, I can’t tell you to wait for it to be on late night cable, because in order to get it over the airwaves, the censors would cut it down to a 10 minute short.  Save your money and see something else.

by daddybear71 on July 15, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie, Review

Posted by daddybear71 on July 15, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/07/15/movie-review-ted/

Coming Soon

Here is my take on the movies that were previewed before the movie yesterday:

  • The OogieLoves – A movie to get toddlers hooked on the cinema and drive adults to drink.  If you lived through the Wiggles, Barney, or the Teletubbies, you’ll understand why you should avoid this gilded turd.  Seriously, if I were forced to watch this dreck, I’d poke out one of my eyes with an olive fork.
  • Ice Age 4:  Continental Drift – Manny, Diego, and Sid the Sloth get set adrift on an iceflow and hilarity ensues.  We all enjoyed the first three movies, so this one will probably be a family matinée.  Piece of personal trivia:  The original Ice Age was one of the first movies that Irish Woman and I went to see as a couple.  I’m such a romantic devil.
  • Hotel Transylvania – This one looks interesting.  Dracula runs a resort out in the boonies that allows the things that go bump in the night to put their feet up and let their tentacles down.  It’s coming out at Halloween time, so it won’t have to compete with the summer movies and its premise will actually line up with the season.  Genndy Tartakovsky directed this one, so I’ll probably give it a watch.
  • Brave – I’m really looking forward to this one.  I’ve never been less than entertained by a Pixar movie.  It’s a rehash of the rebellious daughter versus her societal role plotline, but it looks good.
  • Katy Perry:  Part of Me – Remember what I said earlier about the olive fork?  Well, if my daughter were to try to force me to go to this piece of crap, I’d gouge out my other eye.  Don’t get me wrong, even though I don’t care for her music, I can see that Ms. Perry has at least some talent.  But to sit through a couple of hours of a vanity project about the latest pop tart would be enough to drive me over the edge.  If you have a tween girl who cons you into taking her to see this, I suggest scheduling the therapy in advance.
  • Rise of the Guardians – The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, The Sandman, and Santa Clause meet the XMen.  Or maybe The Polar Express meets 300 would be more appropriate.  The Easter Bunny is shown as being totally ripped, Santa has tattoos and carries a sword, and they join up with other fairy folk to protect the children of the world from unspeakable evil.  Not sure if this one is going to be appropriate for Boo, but older children might enjoy it.  From the trailer, it looks like the visuals in this CGI feature are going to be amazing.
by daddybear71 on June 10, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on June 10, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/06/10/coming-soon-2/

Movie Review – Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

Boo and I had some time today, and after it got too hot to comfortably play outside, I decided a movie would be fun.  Since he’s not quite ready for Prometheus, we went to see Madagascar 3:  Europe’s Most Wanted.  I was initially hesitant to see this one because I was so disappointed with the second movie in the series, but I have to say this one was very enjoyable.   There weren’t as many “Hey, we’re New Yorkers” jokes, it didn’t fall back on too much slapstick, and it had a good message without being preachy.

The original cast of Alex, Gloria, Marty, and Melman are back, along with the psychotic penguins and Sacha Baron Cohen playing the only role of his that I’ve ever liked:  Julien, the king lemur.  They are joined by a new group of characters from a circus, including Gia the leopard, Stephano the Italian sea lion, and Vitali, the Russian tiger.  All of them are pursued across Europe by Captain duBois, an obsessed animal control officer from Monte Carlo.

The plot, as was the case in the other two movies, revolves around the efforts of the four original animals to get back to New York.  In this case, they end up in Europe, are chased by the authorities, and join a circus to escape.  The story is well thought out, has a few twists, and told a message of family and loyalty without laying it on too thick.

The animation was done well, but I think that it was held back by not being dramatically different from the original movie.  In order to keep the pre-existing characters consistent across the series, their rendering has stayed pretty much as it was in 2005.  Other characters, such as Gia, are much more intricate, and the backgrounds are extremely intricate.  This difference in detail was noticeable, but was not jarring.  The visuals during several of the circus act scenes were outstanding, and I can only imagine that the 3D version highlighted them.

The voice acting was very well done.  The original cast was, of course, using their own voices to play a character, but the new characters such as Stephano, voiced by Martin Short, were true creations by the actors.  The cast interacted very well, and did a good job in timing jokes.

Since this is a movie for children, I watched how Boo reacted.  He was entranced by the first half of the movie, but got fidgety through the third quarter.  A lot of plot development occurred during this time, and while there was some action to keep his attention, it was basically the setup for the climax of the film.  The last part of the movie pulled him back in, and he enjoyed it enough to stop asking for more popcorn, which is quite a feat.  The movie is rated PG, and there is some implied cussing, and at least one scene involving an elephant moving in reverse and a young boy that made me squirm a bit as a parent.  Otherwise, it was appropriate for families.

Overall, I would give this movie a 4 out of 5.  It’s not an instant American classic, but it’s definitely worth the cost of a matinee with popcorn and sodas.

by daddybear71 on June 9, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie, Review

Posted by daddybear71 on June 9, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/06/09/movie-review-madagascar-3-europes-most-wanted/

Coming Soon

While we were watching Dark Shadows, I noted the previews and movie posters for upcoming movies.  Some of them look good enough to pay theater prices, some look good enough for a DVD or on-line rental, and some looked like they ought to be avoided like a fuzzy steak.  I’m basing these opinions entirely on not knowing much about the movies other than the series they’re in, the poster, or the trailers, so take them with a grain of salt and enjoy what you want to enjoy.

  • Battleship – Really?  Multiple movies about poseable soldiers and transforming robot dolls weren’t enough?  Now we have to do action movies about a game that can be played on graph paper?  I’ll save my money and wait to be really bored during the heat of next summer so i can watch it on some cable network.
  • GI Joe: Retaliation – Remember what I said about poseable dolls?  Yeah, this is more of that.  Pass.
  • Men in Black III – Men in Black follows in the Star Trek “We can’t think of anything new, so… Hey!  Time Travel!” footsteps.  This one will be a rental at Christmas time, but only because I liked the first two movies so much.
  • Snow White and the Huntsman – Snow White meets Joan of Arc.  The visuals and action in this one look really good, but we all know pretty much know how it’s going to end.  This one might be worth the cost of a matinée during the heat of the summer.
  • Prometheus – Oh Lord, please do not let this suck.  Oh please, oh please, oh please!  Will probably pay full price to see this one on the big screen.
  • Madagascar 3 – Probably wait for a rental or TV showing of this one.  I was disappointed in the second movie, and let’s be honest, how many times can you do the same jokes about city folk out in the wild?
  • Rock of Ages – Tom Cruise plays an aging rocker who doesn’t know when it’s time to hang up his leather pants.  If I wanted to see people who need to get a haircut and learn more than three cords, I’ll go to one of the  retirement fund concerts that come through here every summer.
  • Brave – It’s a Pixar, so I’ll probably go to a matinée of this one with the kids.  I have yet to watch one of their movies that hasn’t been at least entertaining.
  • Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter – Not sure on this one.  I love history, I love monster movies, but I’m not sure about revisionist history that paints the 16th president as a monster hunter.  Probably a rental, but I’m on the bubble about paying to see this one.  I haven’t read the book, and I’m worried that if I do, I’ll enjoy it enough to pay to see the movie and then be disappointed.  I got bit in the butt by Stephen King in that way enough that I’m a little gun-shy.
  • The Amazing Spiderman – A reboot of the reboot.  Unless I hear something significant, this one will go on the “movie of the weekend” queue on cable.
  • Argo – This one looks really interesting.  Ben Affleck plays a CIA officer sent to Iran in 1979 to rescue 6 Americans who are hiding in the Canadian embassy.  This is supposed to be based on the actual operation to get them out.  Probably a rental because I’m the only person in the family who wants to see something like this, and I get the feeling I’m going to want to rewind back to catch things I missed the first time.
by daddybear71 on May 12, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in movie

Posted by daddybear71 on May 12, 2012

https://daddybearsden.com/2012/05/12/coming-soon/

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