I don’t know if HAL is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken. — 2010

Technology is either a wonderful blessing or a punishment from on high.  A tiny hand-held computer with a radio and camera attached to it is either a super convenient way to share photographs of yourself and your adventures with friends, or a really easy way to have your breasticles splashed across the Internet for all to see. (No, I haven’t looked.  When the young starlets start to look more and more like your teenage daughter, you stop looking.)

A car with more computing power than a space shuttle makes driving easier, more efficient, and almost a joy to drive.  Or, it can break your pocketbook and destroy your mind as you try to troubleshoot what should be a simple problem.  Did I ever mention how much I hate Chrysler engineers?  They took the simple thing we used to call a headlight switch and replaced it with a circuit board that cost $80 to replace.

No matter what, you have to remember that a computer is not alive, has no feelings, and really isn’t out to get you.  Of course, the counter argument is that they always seem to break or have a seizure when you’re trying to meet a deadline, get some sleep, or don’t have the money to fix or replace them.

It’s what people know about themselves inside that makes ’em afraid. — High Plains Drifter

In most cases, you create your own boogiemen.  The fear of the unknown is nothing compared with the fear of what you use to fill that unknown.  When you don’t know the intentions of an opponent, you fill them with the worst of your intentions.  Perhaps that’s why so many ‘non-violent’ people ascribe the most heinous of depictions to the rest of us, or perhaps it’s why they sometimes suggest the most violent ways to deal with us.

I shall never understand the weird process by which a body with a voice suddenly fancies itself as a mind. — All About Eve

Just because you can express an opinion doesn’t mean that you will be taken seriously.  In order to be more than background noise, you must know what you’re talking about.  Learn about your subject, respect the informed opinions of others, and articulate your knowledge and experience in a way that others can understand and respect.

My name is Addison DeWitt. My native habitat is the theater. In it I toil not, neither do I spin. I am a critic and commentator. I am essential to the theatre. — All About Eve

Giving criticism is easy, taking it is much more difficult.  But it’s an essential part of improvement and success.  Even if you have the personal integrity to look at your own work and be able to point out where you have done poorly, getting the perspective of someone else can show you things you never considered.

Of course, how comments are given makes a huge difference.  “You are crossing your thumbs when you bring your support hand up.” is better than “You’re holding it wrong!” or worse.  Criticism needs to be constructive and helpful if it is to be heeded.

Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader’s mule, the radio is gone and we’re leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we’d need sleigh bells on this thing… but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain’t gonna spot us on no radar screen! — Dr. Strangelove:  or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

When are you out of the fight?  At what point do you pack it in and accept defeat?  It is completely up to you.  You decide when you’ve had enough and want to stop trying, not the one who is hurting you.  This is true in violent situations, but it is even more true in just every-day relationships.  Are you going to let an abusive boyfriend beat you into submission, or are you going to stand up and stop taking it?  Are you going to let a cheating wife get away with it one more time, or are you going to stand up and stop taking it?  Yes, you’ve been knocked down.  Yes, you’re bruised, bloody, and beat up.  But you are not finished until you say so.

Remember, you’re fighting for this woman’s honour, which is probably more than she ever did. — Duck Soup

One of my rules for Girlie Bear is that she has to dress like a lady three times every school week.  Without that rule, she’d be perfectly happy to wear old shorts or jeans and bad attitude tee shirts and sweatshirts.   Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but she needs to be more.  I want her to know how to dress in a feminine manner because I want her to know how to do it without looking like a street-walker.  I want her to know the difference between dressing up to go to the club and getting dressed for work.  I want her to know that, when it comes to cosmetics, less is more.  I want her to learn that being attractive is better than looking trashy.

In other words, I live in abject fear that she might attract the kind of man I used to be, and I’m doing everything I can to prevent that.

You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. — The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

This quote pretty much sums up why I believe in civilian ownership of arms.  So long as there is a point beyond which the government risks armed rebellion, there is a check on stupidity on their part.  I’ve been lots of places where that isn’t the case, and it’s only by the grace of God or tradition that the people aren’t subject to the whims of men with guns.  Usually, the people are slaves, or worse, cattle, and they are subjected to oppression and slaughter when the need arises.

So long as I can help it, that won’t happen here.  I may dig, but I dig because it’s what I want to do.  So long as there’s a loaded gun on my hip, that’ll be the way things are.

You see, the great secret, Eliza, is not a question of good manners or bad manners, or any particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls. The question is not whether I treat you rudely, but whether you’ve ever heard me treat anyone else better. — My Fair Lady

You can tell a lot about how someone treats people who cannot benefit them.  Do their manners change when they’re dealing with a person behind a cash register?  Are they nice to the car salesman, but treat the mechanic like crap?

If they treat the lowest of the low as well as they treat the highest of the high, then they are truly well-mannered.

Well, someone’s got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I
mean, I’m used to being a hostess, it’s part of my husband’s work. And
it’s always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the
first time, to get acquainted. So I’m perfectly prepared to start the
ball rolling. I mean, I-I have absolutely no idea what we’re doing here.
Or what I’m doing here, or what this place is about, but I am
determined to enjoy myself. And I’m very intrigued, and, oh my, this
soup’s delicious, isn’t it? — Clue

The Louisville Zoo has a large, caged in area where they keep the lorikeets.  Basically, these are small, obnoxious parrots that have learned that when humans stand with their arms outstretched, small cups of sugar-water can be found at the end of those arms.  It’s cute, and neat, and very noisy.  When not lapping up sugar-water, the birds hang from the netting on the walls and, well, screech at each other.  Imagine about 30 colorful birds, each the size of a pigeon, chattering and screeching non-stop, and you have the lorikeet exhibit.

Now, imagine how I feel when someone is making small talk for the sake of small talk.  At a party, it’s like being in that cage with the lorikeets again.  Every person is chirping and squawking about nothing in particular, until someone randomly lands on a subject that everyone wants to talk about.  Then the volume goes up, but at least the content does as well.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I see it more in the suburban south than I ever saw in the rural to semi-rural North.  I heard someone once quip that Minnesota is where the introverts stare at their shoes and the extroverts stare at your shoes, and that fits.  Get a bunch of us together, and if we can’t find a subject that everyone wants to talk about, and we’ll sit in relatively comfortable quiet, enjoying our meal or our ever-present cup of coffee.*

I’m not saying that I discourage conversation, but I do want conversation to have a point.

*That’s another thing I’ve noticed.  Back home, regardless of the season, if someone is coming over or just drops by, a pot of coffee is going to get made.  Down here, it’s sweet tea.

Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy. — The Odd Couple

The worst day of my life, up to that point, was the day I came home and the house was silent.  No sounds of dinner being made, no singing from the kids’ rooms, no cartoons on the TV.  Most of the furniture was gone, as were the toys and clothes, but hand-drawn pictures and cut-outs were still taped to Little Bear’s door.

My family was gone, and I lived in the shell that used to be our home for months before I could get things well enough together to move on.  It took me almost two weeks before I could go in Girlie Bear’s room to clean it up and pack away what little was left.

I was down in a hole, and there wasn’t much sunlight reaching me.

It took months, but eventually I could look up again.  Friends started commenting that it was good to see me smile again, and as the day that I would see the kids grew closer, I did it more and more.

I didn’t really notice when the new normal started to feel pretty good, but it probably came at some point after I started having the kids for weekends on a pretty regular basis.  It took a lot of work, as well as a huge disruption in everyone’s life, but I figured it out.  Someone was there for me to lean on, and they had the wherewithal to know when to listen and when to kick me in the butt.

Life gets better, so long as you’re willing to not give up.  Maybe, for a time, all you’re doing is going through the motions, but eventually you will come out the other side and stand in the sunlight again.