Brothers and sisters, when you realize that you need a break from being in the house on a chilly December night, it’s a good idea to start up the old go-go machine and tool on down the road a bit. Just you, the road, and whatever audiobook or podcast you choose to indulge in.

It’s an even better idea to treat yourself with a milkshake. Something sweet and rich to pick up your spirits and bring back remedies of better times always helps.

However, should you find yourself in the situation where a few drops of said milkshake go down the wrong tube when you take a sip, just cough it out while you safely bring your vehicle to the side of the road and stop.

Do not fight it, causing your eyes to water. Because when your eyes water, your nose might start to run, just a little. And when your nose starts to run, just a little, you will sneeze.

And if you sneeze with a mouthful of vanilla milkshake when it’s dark and 31 degrees out and you’re going 45 miles an hour down a two-lane country road, it is a stone cold pain to clean off your steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield with four cheap napkins.

Yeah, good times. Good times.