Note to self – When Irish Woman is talking about a conflict she had with a member of the local Lutheran church over who had to move their booth at the local event, telling her to ask if they’re Missouri Synod or if they’re going to hell will probably go right over her head.

Also telling her that saying “If you’ve got a complaint, the door to Our Lady of Perpetual Fish Fry’s is right down that way. Take your hammer and nails.” was probably a little much for her tender Catholic soul.

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Telling your bourbon drinking wife that the beer you got while going to pick up pizza is ‘darker than your sense of humor’ is either going to make her smile or get you in trouble.

Then again, if I wanted to live safely, I wouldn’t have married a redhead with 100% Irish heritage.

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Schadenfreude is best exemplified by the feeling I got last night when I found out that a prominent scion of the family that told my children that they would never be from where we used to live, no matter how long we lived there, has been federally indicted on several charges. This is after several convictictions for state crimes.

I’m not saying I take pleasure in their tribulations. OK, yeah, I am, but the point is that all of my children, to the best of my knowledge, aren’t felons.

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We’ve officially reached the “F#!# That!” part of the summer. This is that wonderful time of year where both the temperature and humidity numbers are over 85.

So far, we haven’t hit the ‘humidity, but no rain’ season, but that’s coming. Instead, we’ve gotten “It’s hot as hades out this morning, but the wrath of God will descend on Kentucky later today. Look for everything short of frogs to fall from the sky just in time for the afternoon rush hour, after which we’ll have a lightning storm that will be chronicled by monks as signs of the Apocalypse later this evening. For those of you downhill from Louisville, expect every piece of trash, both human or otherwise, to float through your front yard sometime after midnight.” weather.

My northern plains self is going to stay inside with the air conditioner and supplementary dehumidifier, thank you very much. Since my people are a pale people, I’m restricting my exposure to outside illumination as much as I can. Two hours of lawn care every four to five days is enough for me, thanks. I’ll continue this for the next month or three and only come out when the leaves start to change color and the atmosphere is both breathable and not as painful.

Irish Woman, on the other hand, is as happy as a clam about all this. She lives for the season of digging in the dirt, using my power tools in new and innovative, read destructive, ways, and coming into the house smelling of sunshine and perspiration. Being a proud woman of the sort-of South, she maintains that she does not sweat, rather, she glistens.

How my cave dwelling self hooked up with such a bright and cheerful example of God’s children is beyond me.