- From the “Bubble Bursting” Department – Smith and Wesson is reporting that sales of its rifles have dipped when compared to the same period last year. Amazingly enough, when the threat of the government restricting the exercise of a right, people stop panicking and stocking up on the thing that you need to exercise the right. Now that the rush for guns and ammunition are over, I may be back in the market.
- From the “Barbecue Spear” Department – Archeologists are reporting that humans probably tamed fire about 350,000 years ago. The ability to start a fire when needed was a giant step for early humans, and brought about improved hunting tools, cooked food, and the ceremonial lighting of the mid-winter flatulence.
- From the “Common Sense Reforms” Department – The Texas legislature is considering several pro-gun rights bills. It is hoped that the open carrying of pistols will be legalized, either with or without a license. The usual gang of useful idiots are howling about blood in the streets, but that’s become so pro-forma that it’s basically background noise. Here’s hoping the Lone Star state joins states such as Kentucky that allow open carry and don’t have people slapping leather at high noon.
- From the “Misdirected Anger” Department – Several families of people who were hurt or killed at the Newtown shooting are suing the manufacturer, distributor, and gun shop who handled the Bushmaster AR-15 used in the attack. The basic contention of the lawsuit is that the AR-15 has no proper civilian use, including hunting or self-defense, and the companies named in the suit are negligent for manufacturing and selling them. I hope Bushmaster fights this tooth and nail. If this goes through, I’m suing Toyota for making their cars so safe, thereby preventing the death of my ex-wife when she ran hers into the back-end of a truck. No word if the families plan on suing the estate of the attacker’s mother, the doctors she used to try to control her son, or all of the other people who did little to nothing to keep the little creep away from good people.
- From the “Even Dozen” Department – In a follow-up to a story I wrote about in an earlier post, the Navy has revealed that not only did one petty officer on a submarine videotape female officers undressing and showering, but that 11 other sailors and PO’s watched the videos. I’m guessing none of them went to the chain of command to report this breach of trust and etiquette. I wonder what it looks like when you keel haul twelve dumbasses at once?
- From the “And The Horse You Rode In On” Department – The police union in New York city is encouraging its members to proactively shun local politicians, who supported the recent protests against the police, from their funerals. It is traditional for the mayor and other ‘leaders’ to attend the funerals of police and fire workers who die in the line of duty, and I guess that the rank and file might not want them to get the spotlight at their wake. This might be a bad idea. How are you going to keep flies off the body if there isn’t something more smelly at the wake?
- From the “Blast From The Past” Department – A time capsule, originally placed by Paul Revere and Sam Adams, has been discovered in the Massachusetts State House in Boston. It was previously found and augmented in the 1850’s, and the commonwealth’s government plans to X-Ray it to see what it contains. It is known that there is some Revere silver plate and several coins in the package, but my sources say that there is also a backbone for the current leadership of the country, provided by George Washington, as well as Ben Franklin’s hand-written guide to the best bordellos in Paris.
- From the “Felonious Feline” Department – A stray cat, who has been seen around the Vladivostok Airport before, was recently filmed having a luncheon seafood buffet at an airport market. Authorities have no idea how the cat got into the seafood case, and assure consumers that the legally prescribed amount of vodka has been used to forget how to disinfect the area. When reached for comment, the cat stared balefully at the camera for a few moments before mumbling something about reporters under its fishy breath and walking away. Sources at the Kremlin report that President Putin is planning to denounce the cat as an American plant, just as soon as he finishes his search for a moose and squirrel.
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on December 15, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/12/15/news-roundup-238/
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