By the Irish Woman

1. Swear until you cry
2. Bathe your unpopular pets in a mixture of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and baby shampoo.  Repeat until your pet is once again lovable.
   • Bathe yourself using this process until you feel sociable.
3. Wash every surface down with vinegar and water.
4. Start swearing again because your house still smells like burnt rubber.
5. Febreeze all the furniture.
6. Stop and drink a bourbon and coke because your house still smells like skunk.
7. Begin washing all the laundry you had sitting in the room ready to fold because it too smells like skunk.
8. Drink another bourbon and coke.
9. Go to bed with the windows open and an ambient temperature of 30 degrees with the hopes that the clean frost-filled air will do the trick.
10. Wake up and start swearing.
11. Go talk to the neighbor about setting a trap on their property so you can once again use your backyard without your dog getting sprayed.
12. Just smile when the neighbor loans you their trap and they ask you to humanely trap and relocate the skunk because they have been feeding the #$$!@@#$! thing every night and they like skunks.
13. Return to your house where you are hit with a fragrance of fresh skunk and quickly remember that a good skunk is a dead skunk.
14. Smile at the delivery man who has brought you an expensive ozone generator, complete with $23.00 overnight delivery.
15. Remove all pets and people from the house.
16. Turn on the ozone machine and leave the house for two hours to spend another $40.00 on dinner.
17. Return home to find that your home no longer smells like skunk, but rather has the fresh smell of a new freezer.
18. Keep washing laundry.
19. Replace the shower curtain and liner that made first contact with the skunked dogs when they were bathed.
20. Keep on doing laundry.
21. Drink another bourbon and coke.

Note – Real skunks were used in this story and not been harmed, yet. Only top shelf bourbon should be consumed during this crisis.  All skunks are guilty until proven innocent.