- From the “I Knew It!” Department – Scientists seem to have isolated a virus that causes a slight dip IQ in infected animals and humans. For those of you who have long suspected that stupidity was contagious, this is your proof. I look forward to an over-the-counter detection kit, which will be mandatory for anyone wishing to speak to me.
- From the “Science!” Department – Scientists have performed a limited study on the effects of regular use of marijuana on the human brain. Their findings confirm what I have suspected for years: people who smoke a lot of pot for a long time develop cognitive issues. I’m sure I’m not alone in having that feeling. I would be interested in seeing how these findings stack up against chronic users of alcohol and caffeine, as well as harder drugs like meth and heroine. I’m still for legalization, or at least de-criminalization of recreational use, but I will be the last person to ever tell you that using this stuff three times a day for years is good for you. Like all substances that make changes to the human body, sometimes it’s beneficial and sometimes it’s not.
- From the “Tragedy” Department – A young boy in Cleveland is dead after police shot him the other night. Evidently, the young man had an airsoft gun with the distinctive orange cap removed, and when he pulled it out in front of two policemen, they shot him. This reminds me of the case last year where a teenager was killed in California when his airsoft AK pattern gun was mistaken for the real thing. Parents, it’s past time for us to teach our children that guns are not toys, and to make sure that if we buy them airsoft or BB guns, then there is little to no chance that it can be mistaken for a gun. Our kids need to know to treat any gun-shaped object as if it were a real gun, and to respect the responsibility that comes with it.
- From the “Horrors!” Department – Labor unions are in the Obamacare crosshairs as the 40% excise tax on so-called “Cadillac Plans” starts to loom on the regulatory horizon. Basically, if your employer provides a health plan that is worth $23,000 or more, it’s taxable. Since a lot of union health plans are very generous, a large number of people who either directly or indirectly support the president and other democrats responsible for drafting, passing, or implementing the ACA will be hit right in the irony bone with a $9200 tax bill. Even though I’m probably in that class myself and will cry and gnash my teeth when the new line item shows up on my tax documentation, I love the schadenfreude of knowing that President Obama’s most ardent supporters will be with me checking the oil on his bus.
- From the “Hamburger” Department – An Irish bull, whose owner believed to be gay due to its preference to mate with other bulls, has been sold to an animal sanctuary in England rather than be slaughtered. Simpsons co-creator Sam Simon chipped in funds to transport and provide for the bull, who will spend his dotage roaming fields of clover instead of being nestled between leaves of lettuce and slices of tomato. It’s too bad, really. I’m sure the meat would have tasted fabulous.
- From the “Don’t See That Every Day” Department – A man was arrested recently at Boston’s Logan Airport for a laundry list of charges. It seems that Captain Success tried to climb across a fake ceiling, nude, so that he could take a gander at the ladies restroom, but fell through into the men’s restroom and injured himself. He then allegedly ran out of the restroom and assaulted an elderly man and injured a police officer who was arresting him. Now, that would be an interesting scenario for IDPA. “OK, hoss, what you’re gonna do is drop your pants, sit on this here commode, and wait. At some point after the timer beeps, a target is going to drop from the ceiling. Draw from your holster and engage until the target is neutralized. Whether you stand up or not is up to you. Do you understand the course of fire?”
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News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on November 12, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/11/12/news-roundup-235/
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