You’re like the thief who isn’t the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he’s going to jail. — Gone With The Wind

Penitence comes from regretting the act, not the consequences.  Consequences are there to deter the act, but they cannot make someone truly sorry for what they have done.  That’s why a harsh punishment means nothing without first teaching why something that has been done is wrong.  “If you do that, you’ll get a spanking.” is not very useful, but “If you do this, you’ll hurt your sister, and you’ll get a spanking.” is better.

I think that’s one of the reasons that our current regime of not doing much to raise children with any objective morals, followed by harsh punitive measures when they become adults, is not working.  I’m not saying that someone who causes harm to others should not be punished if they can show that nobody taught them right from wrong, but I do think that if we poured some resources and political will into promoting some pretty basic things, we might be better off.  I believe the core of such teaching should include things like this:

• Hurting other people, except to defend yourself or others, is wrong.
• There is no such thing as a fighting word.
• Taking things that do not belong to you is wrong.
• Having unprotected sex before you are ready to raise a child, with no help, is wrong.
• Nobody owes you a damn thing.