Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in. — The Shining

One thing about getting so close to another human being that they seem almost an extension of your soul:  they know exactly which buttons to push during an argument.  If they know how to make your heart warm or your knees buckle, they will know how to make your blood boil.  Even with that, violence in the home is never the right answer, with the exception that you should never allow yourself or your children to be physically abused by the other.  If someone hits you, they will do it again, for they have lost respect for you, if not love.  No relationship is worth that, and no child deserves to grow up being abused or watching someone else be harmed.

I talk with my kids about this on occasion.  It’s a hard subject to discuss, but it’s important.  In a way, it’s close to how I talk to them about being harmed by strangers.  Fight to escape, get out, get help.  Don’t ever start a confrontation, but find a way to end it, preferably without getting hurt.  That goes for any abuse, physical or otherwise.  Nobody has the right to torment or hurt those that love them, and sometimes the only solution is to get away.

It’s easier said than done on both counts.  Like I said, your significant other knows you, probably better than you know yourself.  If they’re of a mind to push all of the buttons at once, they can almost seem to dare you to lash out.  This you can never do.  Walk away, cool off, take the kids, and get out until everyone is rational again.  No short-term advantage in a conflict is worth the damage that momentary abuse will bring.  Leaving an abusive partner, if even for the time it takes to look for help, is gut-wrenchingly difficult.  Someone who harms you physically is likely to have laid a foundation of emotional and psychological abuse, and the strength to get out and get help may be difficult to find.  But there is at least one person in everyone’s life that is there for you to reach out to, to hold you up and shield you while you heal.  If you need them, find them, and they will help.