Here is what was advertised at the movies today:

Home – A cuddly-looking purple alien race takes over the world, and a plucky young girl pairs up with an alien outcast to try to find harmony between humanity and the conquerors.  Looks kind of annoying, but might give this one a shot at a matinee or DVD rental.

The BoxTrolls – A human orphan raised by cute creatures of the night takes on an evil human villain and figures out his humanity.  Probably pass, because I’ve seen this movie the last 15 times it was made.

Earth to Echo – A group of young boys and girls follow a map sent to their cell phones to find an alien probe and try to safeguard the cute robot in it from evil adults.  Think ET with the cinematography of an iPhone.  Since I don’t like the idea of being motion sick while watching a sicky-sweet ripoff of a movie I didn’t like in the first place, I’ll pass.

Annie – Really?  No, seriously, someone spent millions of dollars to remake and reset a 1970’s cineturd?  Albert Finney singing and dancing wasn’t bad enough, so now we have to be subjected to Jamie Foxx acting like a New York politician who is cashing in on the cute and rambunctious title character?  At least Daddy Warbucks didn’t try to unseat FDR by pimping the little redhead out to the press.  Pass, and since it’s a Christmas movie, I’m going to be inundated with advertisements for this abomination for six bloody months.  Oh, frabulous joy!

Dolphin Tale 2 – A sequel to a movie I didn’t see, and I’m OK with that, because I won’t be seeing this one either.  The dolphin with the prosthetic tail is depressed because it’s in an enclosed tank 24 hours a day, so the evil government inspector tells her keepers that they’ll have to either subject another dolphin to the same hellish experience or do something with the first dolphin.  By something, I’m guessing he means euthenasia, which might be better than spending the rest of your life swimming in circles in the same featureless blue swimming pool, and you can’t send robodolphin out into the wild without expecting her to either drown, starve, or become Purina Shark Chow.  So, after finding a baby dolphin who’s lost her mommy, the keepers argue over whether to let the two suffer together or separately.  Since they tell us in the trailer that the younger dolphin is put in with the dolphin with the prosthetic, and nobody makes a movie about putting a dolphin to sleep, I’m guessing we all will learn a valuable lesson about family, responsibility, and love by watching two dolphins swim in circles together and slowly descend into madness over the next decade.  Pass, and I will mock anyone who supports this kind of dreck by buying tickets or paying for a rental.

Seriously, Hollywood, if this is the best you can do for children’s movies this year, I’m going to introduce Boo to Bollywood and let him do dance numbers in the living room.