- From the “There’s Always One” Department – A Marine, who was assigned to President Obama’s security detail during a recent trip to Europe, is in hot water after a night out on the town. Apparently his activities included drinking way too much way to close to being on duty, passing around his security badge, and bragging that he is a “bullet catcher” for the President. For those of you in government service who are being told that you are going to be sequestered to your quarters, ordered to stay away from the locals, and that the consumption of alcohol while on trips is verboten, you can thank Sergeant Schlipenschitz for that. The Marine is said to be a front-runner for this year’s Marine Corps Blue Falcon Award, with his only competition being the Lance Corporal from 1st MEF who has been bringing the Camp Pendleton base commander’s teenage daughter back to the barracks for some ‘personal time’.
- From the “Hobbies” Department – A man in Florida was recently arrested after residents of an apartment building reported that he was riding around on a child’s tricycle, naked, and chewing on glass and tobacco. To quote the late, great Rick James: Cocaine is a hell of a drug. When asked by this reporter as to his plans after finishing his latest engagement in state custody, the man was heard to say “I’m going to Disneyland!”. In unrelated news, officials of the Magic Kingdom have announced that tricycle rentals have been suspended until further notice.
- From the “Birth Control” Department – The North Korean People’s Glorious Committee on Personal Grooming and Beauty has announced that men in the DPRK are henceforth required to model their haircuts on that worn by Kim Jong Un. The “Business On The Side, Party Up On Top” cut, which was last popularized in the 1950’s by the cartoon character “Dagwood“, is a stylish throwback to that wonderful period when men were men, women were women, and dictators had better things to do with their time.
- From the “Business As Usual” Department – Covered California, a Obamacare program, has come under fire after it mailed thousands of voter registration cards out with the “Democrat” entry already circled. This brings up two troubling questions. First, why is an organization, which is ostensibly supposed to be getting people to buy health insurance, sending out voter registration cards at all? Second, is anyone actually surprised by this? Covered California is blaming the Secretary of State’s office, who they claim provided the cards. When asked about it by this reporter, a representative of the Secretary of State’s office replied with a shrug and a blank stare. In related news, the California Democratic party has announced that they have successfully recruited 225 million Californians as pledged and donating members. This includes every person currently living in the state, their dead parents and grandparents, who would vote Democrat if they were still alive, as well as their descendents in the next three generations. Voter turnout for the November elections is projected to be near 100%.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on March 31, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/03/31/news-roundup-215/
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1 Comment
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
Bob
/ March 31, 2014Hey DB,
A couple of comments…First off that marine…..STUPID…that is a seriously career ending move there. The chain of command will be all over this marine, more so than the dingbat PFC that did the selfie dodging the colors and bragging about it. I understand the lure of bragging to procure some female company…but really?
Also about the “Covered California” story…..this is my shocked face….really…..totally shocked. The same party that practices”vote early and voting often”….and ID suppression and the dead rising from the graves long enough to hit the lever for the favored politician with the “D” in his/her name then return to the ground until the next voting cycle.
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