That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously… — Despicable Me

 

Irish Woman was always THAT aunt.  You know the one.  She gives her nieces and nephews the best presents.  Goldfish.  Glow in the dark ant farms.  Drum sets.  It was all fun and games to her, because she, as a single woman, was immune from retaliation.

And then she met me.

What quickly followed were talking, dancing hula girls.  They were joined by three foot, articulated robots with programmable speech.  To top it all off, someone gave Boo a drum set for Christmas.  Revenge is a gift best served cold, and it is cold at Christmas when annoying toys in their legions have been given to my children by gleeful friends and family.

I have spent the last 10 years slowly and purposefully weeding the most annoying of the toys out of the toyboxes.   Dead batteries have been good criteria for disposal.  So have loose decals or broken plastic.  It seems I spend about 10 months out of the year trying to get rid of the annoying toys so I can have two months of peace.

To all of the aunts and uncles that Irish Woman annoyed all those years, I am very sorry.  Please stop now, before grandchildren come along and the fight moves on to another generation.