- I came up with a new workout regimen today:
- Warm up and stretch by searching the basement for your cordless drill. Augment this by helping your wife find the bag of PVC “T” connectors she bought last weekend. You will be assisted in this exercise by a 15 year old girl who apparently does not know what a cordless drill looks like.
- Over oxygenate by breathing deep as you cuss after finding the drill with two dead batteries.
- Work on flexibility by going to Plan B – Disassemble a stone walkway in the back yard.
- Arms and upper body workout – Using a masonry chisel, a 2 pound hammer, and a pry bar, take apart a 250 piece, 20 foot long limestone and concrete walkway. You may be assisted by a five year old boy.
- Legs and back workout – Sort the pieces of limestone from the pieces of concrete. Carry the limestone, two pieces at a time, to the other side of the back yard and stack them neatly. Pick up the pieces of concrete, two at a time, and pitch them into a garbage can. You will get no assistance in this from the five year old boy.
- Legs and back workout – Roll said garbage can, now with 200+ pounds of broken concrete in it, back to its place. The five year old boy will be of no assistance whatsoever in this exercise.
- Cardio – Do “Siamese Cat On The Loose” wind sprints. This is where a Siamese house cat gets out and tries to get himself lost. You walk to the cat, he runs from you. You run to the cat, he sprints away from you. You may be assisted in this exercise by a five year old boy carrying a plastic putter and an Irish Woman who goes behind you telling you how sorry she is for letting the cat out.
- Cool down by going to the hardware store with said five year old boy and getting the wrong PVC “T” connectors for your wife.
- Dear Hardware Store – Why do you put the 1/2 inch Schedule 40 PVC pipes next to the 1/2 inch “T” connectors that will not accept Schedule 40 PVC?
- It is never a good thing for your wife to notice an oily patch of driveway under your 2013 Ford pick-up and it’s only March 2014.
- It would appear that the culprit is the rear driver side shock. This better by covered by my warranty.
- Note to teenagers – When being driven to a sleep-over at your friend’s house, it is always a good idea to remember to take along the notecard you wrote her address on.
Thoughts on the Day
Posted by daddybear71 on March 15, 2014
https://daddybearsden.com/2014/03/15/thoughts-on-the-day-218/
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