Recently, a friend told me that her son was joining the Army, and asked if I had any words of wisdom for him. I told her I’d speak with him if she wanted, or I could put together a few thoughts that she could pass on.
Here’s what I came up with.
- Don’t be stupid. To paraphrase John Wayne, you’ve chosen a hard life, and it will get a lot harder if you don’t use your head for something other than to keep your ears apart.
- Don’t ever do anything that would make your grandmother ashamed of you.
- Learn everything you can, no matter how trivial. There is no such thing as useless knowledge or a useless skill. That boring class you go to or that manual lying around the day room might be what points you in the direction of your chosen profession.
- Volunteer. Yeah, I know, never volunteer. But getting exposure to new things will help with rule 3, and the most interesting and fun things you ever do will probably come because you put your hand up and said “I’ll do it.”
- Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. The military tends to have a rigid social structure based on rank and time in service. It’s also a harsh meritocracy, where experience is everything. For the first year or so, you will be at the bottom of both ladders. You will know when you’ve started climbing either of them.
- On the other hand, if you don’t understand, ask. It’s better to take crap for not getting it the first time it’s explained than to catch hell for failure.
- For at least the first few years in the military, you can live without the following items (See rule 1):
- Any vehicle that you cannot afford to pay cash for.
- A huge stereo or TV.
- An STD. See rule #2 and wrap that rascal.
- A DUI or any other criminal record. See rule 1 and 2.
- A credit card that you can’t afford to pay off every month.
- Cigarettes or chewing tobacco
- The following people are not your friends (See rules 1 and 2):
- Car salesmen
- That pretty young thing trying to get you to sign up for a credit card
- Pawn shop and tattoo parlor owners
- Strippers
- The guy who brings drugs to the party
- The bar owner who doesn’t card for underage drinkers
- If they’re worth marrying, they’re worth waiting for. Getting married in a hurry is rarely a good idea. (See rule 1)
- Beware the potential spouse who knows way too much about the benefits for married people in the military.
- Someday, it will end. It may be after one enlistment where all you get is a handshake and a DD214, or it may end after 30 years where you get a few hundred men and women pass in review to honor you. But it will end. Be prepared for that day, because how you handle it will impact the rest of your life.
DaddyBear’s Den 
phssthpok
/ February 23, 2014I know this can hardly apply to everyone, but a very good friend of mine was bunked with a guy who saved every single one of his paychecks…From boot all the way up until they had parted ways he never cashed them. He bunked in the barracks, ate at the commissary, got around base on a bicycle.
His plan was to not cash a single one for his entire term, then take the lot and use it as ‘seed money’ for a business venture, or perhaps to simply buy a small home outright in some small podunk town.
Given that housing is the-numero-uno cost for just about everyone, if a young person can enter into the prime of their earning years with a paid-for house already under their belt, just imagine what the future can bring (especially if they practice the same self discipline they used to save up the money in the first place).
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daddybear71
/ February 24, 2014That takes a lot of discipline, but any saving done while you’re that young is a good idea.
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Wing And a Whim
/ February 23, 201410. Go to the credit union and get a savings account. Now.
10a.)When you are in training, put all your paycheck in there. The military is going to feed you, clothe you, and house you, and you won’t have time to recover from whatever you wanted to blow it on anyway.
10b.) When you are going overseas, take out a couple hundred and put it in a very well secured roll. Live on that. Put ALL of your paycheck into the account. If you’re in a combat zone, you’re not going to get a good chance to spend it anyway. If you’re not in a combat zone, your per diem should cover your living expenses.
10c.) Do NOT give your girlfriend or your fiance access to this bank account. In fact, when you get married, split the check so 10% automatically goes into the savings account, long before it hit your joint account. If your wife is not good with money (or all too good at spending it), don’t tell her this account exists.
Someday, you’ll salute for the last time. And when you do, you’re going to face an interesting and difficult transition to civilian life. If you’ve served one hitch, this savings account will be enough to see you through until you land on your feet. If you re-up, this account will let you buy a house and keep the baby in diapers while you’re looking for a job. If you put in twenty, this will ensure that you can keep a roof over your head and food on the table for years, no matter what the VA decides to do with your checks this month.
11.) Save all your leave. Seriously, don’t blow your leave and be careful with the time off you’ve got. Because you’re going to do well, you’re going to get promoted, and when you part ways with the military, you get to cash out all your leave. Would you rather cash out those hours you’re going to get in the first year at a private’s pay – or at a major’s?
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daddybear71
/ February 24, 2014Wing, I’d say that it’s a good idea to have savings that are separate from your shared money for any married person. The worst part of my divorce was the damage done because I didn’t have complete control of my own money while I was deployed and I gave my ex a general power of attorney. I didn’t want to get into that in this, but the fact that the military pushes powers of attorney whenever you go through SRP probably causes more problems than it fixes.
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mrgarabaldi
/ February 24, 2014Hey DB;
All of the advice given by you and Phisspot and wing are awesome advice. I would add, “Don’t get married to get out of the barracks” and like You said” wrap that rascal” don’t believe in her promise that she is “on the pill.” Make sure that you make use of the educational opportunities….Go to night school, get the degree…Sure it may be a diploma mill…but it DOES count. when you got out in the world. Congratulations on an adventure that will expose you to a lot of things that you would never see as a civilian.
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daddybear71
/ February 24, 2014I was trying to find a non-threatening way to say just that. A lot of great people I knew in training had their wings clipped when someone got pregnant.
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hollychism
/ February 24, 2014And introduce yourself to Kipling’s poetry. Most of it was written for the soldier, and can lift spirits, or give the sense that at least someone understood your situation.
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daddybear71
/ February 24, 2014Good suggestion. There are a lot of reading lists for soldiers out there, but when I mention them to young people who want to join up, I usually get a bewildered look.
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