18:24 – Wow, they finally found someone who could actually sing to do the National Anthem.

18:25 – Apparently, Noah is an action story now.

18:28 – Joe Namath had one job, dammit.  Nice fur, though.  That ref might have a job as a wide receiver for the Raiders next year, though.

18:29 – Insert obligatory reference to the temperature at an outdoor venue.

18:31 – If you own Ford stock, I suggest you call your broker.  Boy, they put up a shitty, hideously expensive commercial, then doubled down on stupid.

18:32 – And we’re off. And the Bronco’s start off their master strategy by whipping out their schwanz and stepping on it in cleats.

18:47 – It’s a bad thing to hear “Oh you sexy thing” playing in a commercial that features a bull.  Just saying.

18:39 – This just in – The Denver defense is stuck on the bridge from New York and expects to get in sometime during the second quarter.

18:42 – Seattle throws the red flag.  For those of you who do not follow American football, that means the coach wants to have a second look at a call, and the rest of us are going for a beer.

18:43 – Remember what I said about Ford?  The same goes for Anheiser Busch.

18:44 – Hey Maserati, cool commercial.  Too bad I didn’t know what you were selling until 3 seconds before it ended.

18:45 – Seattle loses the challenge.  One less bathroom break later in the half.

18:46 – Seattle hits for 3.

18:48 – Chevy hits the oddly funny note with their bull stud sexy thing ad.

18:49 – I don’t blame him.  I run that far down the field, I’m going to hit someone too.

18:51 – 3 and out for Denver.

18:53 – You know what I prefer to watching the Super Bowl?  Doing my taxes.

18:57 – Nice headfake there, Lynch. Shame it didn’t work.

18:59 – Well, that attempt to make NFL Films didn’t work.  Trick plays are only legendary when you can pull them off.

19:00 – OK, that worked.  Nice throw.  Seattle on the Denver 6 yard line now.

19:01 – Whoops, I spoke too soon.  Holding call.  Seattle at the Denver 11 yard line.

19:03 – Denver challenge on whether the pass was forward or backward.  Now there’s an esoteric part of the rule book I’ll have to explain.

19:04 – Arnold Schwarzenegger just needs to hang it up.  Really.  That was emberrassing.  If he needs the money, he can just ask us.

19:05 – Well, that happened.   Ellen was cute in that awkward kind of way, the same way she’s been for the past 15 years.

19:06 – Denver loses the challenge.  Do they not want me to have a break at the end of the half?

19:07 – Seattle up 8-0 after a field goal.

19:08 – Cool, U2 is still making music.

19:09 – Hyundai has a pretty good commercial there.   Dads taking a smack in the ribs with a baseball bat always gets me to the dealership.

19:11 – Fumble by Denver recovered by Denver.  Pucker factor reported to be high.

19:12 – I don’t know who was more surprised by that interception – Payton  Peyton Manning or the guy on the Seahawks who caught it.

19:13 – Oh, boy, another social networking site.  I can hardly wait.

19:14 – The Denver defense reports that they sent someone back to get a shitload of dimes, but they still hope to be at the stadium by halftime.

19:15 – End of the first quarter.

19:16 – Dammit, Chevy.  Sniff Snarfle Snargle

19:21 – Pass interference in the end zone by Denver.  That’s an ass beating, right there.

19:22 – Touchdown Seattle.

19:23 – 15-0 Seattle

19:24 – Tebow tackles Sasquatch.  I’d call that a win.

19:25 – Marky Mark in a Transformers movie?  That might be watchable.

19:25 – Here’s a hint – If you catch the ball in the end zone and run it out, I suggest running straight forward like your ass was on fire.  Fancy footwork gets you tackled at the 15 yard line.

19:29 – I’ll be damned, Denver got a first down.

19:33 – It would appear that Denver finally figured this thing out.

19:39 – Never mind – Interception.  Touchdown Seattle.   22-0

19:40 – Dear Volkswagen.   You win.  That is all.

19:42 – Fumble.  Seattle recovers on Denver 33 yard line.  Now they go off to sacrifice a squirrel to the gods of reviewing.

19:45 – Review gives the ball back to Denver.  Denver’s coach puts away the thumbscrew.

19:46 – Irish Woman wonders aloud if Manning is wearing both of his contact lenses tonight.

19:48 – Two minute warning.

19:49 – Coke wins the heartwarming commercial award for the first half.

19:51 – Look at that.  The screen worked for Denver.

19:54 – Turnover on downs. Seattle ball on their 22 yard line.

19:57 – Halftime.  The Denver coach reports that he plans to crucify two offensive linemen in the locker room pour encourager les autres.

20:01 – Boo is in bed.  Someone has stolen the beer from by bottle.  Off to get another one and do some laundry.  Should be just as exciting as the halftime show.

20:18 – You know it’s going to be a short show when Flea is wearing more than a strategically placed tube sock.

20:22 – Well, that wasn’t absolutely horrifying.  Oh, God, Prince has an afro.

20:31 – And away we go.  Seattle scores on the kickoff.  29-0.

20:39 – And Audi wins a cookie for the Doberhuahua.

20:44 – OK, let’s see if the Denver defense made it to the second half.

20:45 – Oh, joy, Axe has a new fragrance out.  Something new to gag about the next time I chaperone a field trip.

20:45 – Good to see that my grizzly brothers are finally represented in the commercials.

20:52 – And Kia wins the “Pick the Carcass” award for the evening with its Matrix inspired car ad.

20:54 – John Elway looks oh, so happy.

20:55 – Fumble by Denver, picked up by Seattle.  Oh yeah, and a 15 yard foul against Denver.

20:58 – Good on that lieutenant for dressing well and not acting badly when he was going to be on live TV.

21:02 – Touchdown Seattle.  36-0.  Denver coach begins decimation of his defense.  If I wasn’t writing this, I’d probably have changed the channel by now.

21:05 – Bob Dylan made a pretty good commercial for the UAW.   I’m surprised they were able to reanimate his corpse so well this late in the winter.

21:11 – Denver scores a touchdown.  That is their first score in the game, with less than 20 seconds left in the 3rd quarter.  They go for two, and they make it.  36-8 Seattle.

21:15 – Hey Rocky!  Watch me pull an on-side kick out of my hat!  But that trick never works!  This time for sure!  Presto!  Seattle ball on the Denver 47 yard line.

21:20 – Seattle touchdown.  43-8.

21:27 – I’m starting to hope for a record win for Seattle here.  At least that would be memorable.

21:32 – Denver’s strategy of tiring Seattle’s defense by letting them chase down Peyton Manning is starting to pay off.

21:42 – Commentators speculating on Manning’s future.  I’m sure he’ll go home and cry on his big pile of money and wonder what he’ll do tomorrow.

21:45 – This just in – Denver’s defense has called in from Philadelphia.  They want to know if anyone wants a cheese steak.  Denver leadership has asked Queen Latifah to suit up as a defensive lineman.

21:47 – Manning gives up the ball when his arm gets jogged during a forward pass.

21:48 – Irish Woman asks why it’s the “Vince Lombardi” trophy.  I reply that Vince Lombardi was the greatest coach the NFL ever had and that she should turn north and bow toward Lambeau.

21:51 – Budweiser reminds me to tell Irish Woman and Girlie Bear that we do not need another Labrador Retriever.

21:52 – Doritos, on the other hand, reminds me that I need a mastiff.

21:54 – Denver’s new strategy – Make it to the Newark airport alive.

21:55 – And that’s that.  The Seattle Seahawks beat the Denver Broncos like they wanted to change their name to “Toby”.