- From the “Good Start” Department – The Vatican has suspended a German bishop who is notorious for his lavish spending habits. It appears that the wayward cleric spent over $40 million refurbishing his residence, which appears to be the most egregious in a long list of fiscal abuses. It’s good to see that the Holy See is tamping down on clergy who abuse their position to enrich themselves or make their lives more comfortable. Now if they would only come down as hard on clergy who betray their vows of chastity and the trust of their parishioners, we might see something worth praising.
- From the “Woman Scorned” Department – Archeologists have unearthed a lead tablet containing a pretty strongly worded curse on it. The tablet was found in the ruins of a Roman home, and is probably about 1,700 years old. The woman who wrote it implores six separate deities to aid her in taking down a rival, asking that his ability to oppose her be taken away. In related news, officials from the Obama administration have been reported to be purchasing sheets of lead and books on ancient gods.
- From the “Respect His Authoritah!” Department – Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois, Democrat and founding member of the Americans For The Advancement Of The Enslavement Of Everyone Who Disagrees, has asserted that a Republican House leader made a disrespectful remark to President Obama during ‘negotiations’ during the recent government shutdown. The White House and House leadership have both stated that the incident never happened, but Durbin is standing behind his statement. Apparently, the good Senator has an issue with people saying disrespectful things about the Chicago messiah. Funny, being disrespectful of the office and person of the president wasn’t such a bad thing when people named Reagan and Bush were in the Oval Office, so why is it so bad now? So, to Senator Durbin, I say this: “Your president is a worthless waste of protoplasm. He has the outhouse touch, in that everything he touches turns to crap. The body of the Communist wench who whelped him ought to be dug up and publicly chastised for what she has wrought on not only the American people, but the entire human race. The name and image of his father, who had the poor taste to put his name on this disgrace of a son, ought to be purged from the public record and forgotten as atonement for the sin of bringing such a person into the world. The fact that this bumbling, egotistical, half-wit refugee from a 1970’s blacksploitation movie has executive power over the machinery of a world superpower is not only frightening, but also depressing. My wish for him, and for you Senator, is to go down in history as the worst example of American politics imaginable, and to be held up as an example of who we do not want to ever see hold public office in the republic. I shun both of you as I would shun a rabid dog, and I hope you both live out long, lonely lives dwelling on the damage you have done.”
- From the “Get A Rope” Department – A woman in Texas is being prosecuted after a five-year-old child under her care killed himself with her gun. It appears that the woman was legally carrying a revolver for self-defense, but left it on a coffee table while she took a nap. Now, because she’s either too lazy or too stupid to secure her firearm, a child is needlessly dead and the rest of us are stained with his blood. Personally, if she’s convicted, I hope she doesn’t get the death penalty, and that the images of his autopsy photographs and baby pictures are permanently affixed to every wall in her cell. The prosecutor is right in bringing charges, and I wholeheartedly agree with his assertion that the right to keep and bear arms comes with the responsibility to keep your firearms away from those who have no business having unsupervised access to them, especially children.
- From the “Fashion Crime” Department – The Defense Department is apparently considering changing the Marine uniform by making all Marines wear what has, up to now, been the headgear worn by females. It seems that it’s not fair that the Marines have the sharpest uniforms and the deepest traditions in the DoD, and we can’t have that, now can we? Apparently the DoD needs something constructive to do with their time. It could be worse, I guess. The Marines could be taking the distinctive headgear of an elite unit and making that the default headgear for the entire force, because everyone deserves to feel special and walk around looking like Chef Boyardee. I look forward to reports of bar brawls occurring after Marine infantrymen start knocking heads together when taunted about wearing a ladies cap in uniform.
- From the “Equal Protection” Department – Senator Randus Tiberius Paulus. Republican of Kentucky and apparent Tribune of the Plebs, has introduced an amendment to the Constitution that attempts to stop Congress from passing laws that protect members of the government from being subject to the laws of the land. A quick layman’s reading of the text of the amendment gives me a good feeling about what it wants to do, and dread for its future. My guess is that it will die a young and bloody death in Congress. In the unlikely event that it passes, I foresee decades of litigation as its meaning is twisted and abused to allow whatever the sitting power in government should wish. (Me, cynical? Perish the thought). I wish the good Senator luck, and advise him to watch out for members of the House and Senate who are breaking up their chairs and wielding the legs as clubs.
News Roundup
Posted by daddybear71 on October 24, 2013
https://daddybearsden.com/2013/10/24/news-roundup-205/
Previous Post
Thoughts on the Day
Thoughts on the Day
Next Post
Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day
2 Comments
DaddyBear
DaddyBear’s Den 
oldnfo
/ October 24, 2013As usual NO good news… sigh…
LikeLike
daddybear71
/ October 24, 2013I can only comment on what they report.
LikeLike